You're Gonna Love Me

“Frank.” His soft voice said from behind me, I sighed, and turned around to see him stood directly behind me, an apologetic look on his face.

“What do you want?” I asked in a bored tone.

“I… you left your essay,” he told me, pressing the papers into my hands. “And… I wanna apologize.” He added, I just stood there, looking at him. “I’m sorry if I made you think that I didn’t wanna be friends with you, I do. I just don’t think that it’s a good idea that we date.” He said quietly.

“Whatever,” I muttered and turned back around, I put my history essay into my locker, grabbed my jacket out of it and then shut the door and began down the hallway, shrugging on my jacket as I did so.

I had just left the building when I heard his voice again.

“That’s it?” he asked, I turned back towards him.

“What more do you want from me? If you don’t wanna date me then that’s cool, there’s plenty of other people who will. But honestly, I don’t want to be around you anymore.” I told him, he stood there in shock.

“W-w-what?”

“You don’t wanna date me, so I’m not interested anymore. See you around.” I told him with a smile, and with that I headed out of the school gates and started home, a satisfied smirk on my face.

- - -

“What did you do?” Mikey asked as he sat down beside me, I looked up at him in confusion.

“What are you talking about?”

“Gerard.” He stated, I sighed.

“I don’t see why you’re so worked up about it… either of you. He didn’t want to date me and you didn’t want us to date, so I’m solving both problems and just staying away from him.” I shrugged.

“No, you’re not solving anything, you’re just doing exactly what you always do, use people. The only reason you made him believe you were friends was so you could fuck him, possibly to get an A in history, but I doubt it, grades have never been important to you. And then you finally realize that not everyone worships the ground you walk on and you fucking ditch him!”

“Does it matter? We’re not dating, so get over it and be happy about it.”

“You don’t get it do you? I didn’t want you dating because I didn’t want you hurting him, but you went and did that anyway! He really thought you were his friend.”

“He’ll get over it, I’m sure he’s got plenty more.” I sighed.

“That’s just it, he hasn’t! You’re the first friend he’s had in years! He’s only ever had one friend in his entire life, and she moved about six years ago. And then you came along and he finally thought someone actually wanted to be friends with him! But you just used him! He’s been through a lot of shit over the past eighteen years, and you’re just making his life even worse.”

“What do you mean?” I asked he shook his head.

“It’s not my place to say. Look, if you don’t want to be friends with him, then fine, just stay the fuck away from him. But if you’re just doing this to get back at him for not wanting to date you, then don’t. He doesn’t deserve it. All he’s done is be a friend to you. Don’t throw all of that back in his face just because you’re mad at him.”

“I’m not throwing anything back in his face, okay? I just don’t want to be friends with him.” I told him, he sighed and turned towards the front of the room, I mirrored his action.

Okay, so I’d lied, truth was, I did want Gerard to be my friend, but I couldn’t be around him without think about or mentioning dating him, and I knew that made things awkward for him, so really, in hurting him, I’ve done him a favor, so hurting him, wasn’t such a bad thing… right?”