If your heart stops beating

~*Frank’s Point of view*~

I poked my head around the door.
“Hey Alec!”
He looked up.
“Frank!”
I walked in and sat down.
“What’s up?”
“Not much. Cheryl called. Said she was sorry about my injuries and all that shit. Then she let me talk to Katie for about five minutes. Katie’s grown up a lot. She’s much more mature than she was last time I saw her.”
He looked down at his hands.
“She’s going to be nine in two months. My baby sister is growing up and I’m not there to see it.”
“Aw... well, maybe we can arrange for her to come to Jersey for a while.”
“Really?”
“Sure.”
“I love you, Frank!”
I laughed.
“Love you too, kid.”
After a moment I remembered something.
“Hey Alec...”
“Yeah?”
“That doctor that came in yesterday.”
“Doctor Mason. Yeah, what about him?”
“He was your doctor last time you were in here, wasn’t he? He seemed to know you.”
“Yeah, he was one of my doctors. He was the nice one.”
“Then... why did he call you my son? If he was your doctor, he must have known that your father was, well... not me.”
Alec looked away again.
“My father never visited me in hospital, except those few times after my mother died. Doctor Mason never met him. I suppose their paths just never crossed. My mother paid my bills, so it was her name on all the forms.”
I nodded.
“I see.”
“Anyway, I don’t care who people think you are.”
“I thought you said you didn’t want me to be your father.”
“No, I don’t. I don’t want you to be my legal father or anything, but I don’t care if people think you are. When people at school see you, they tell me ‘Your dad’s cool!’ I just don’t bother telling them you’re not really my dad, cause then they want to know who you are and how I know you and then they don’t really think you’re that cool any more. Or they lose interest halfway through the story and beat me up instead.”
I grinned.
“So I’m not cool? Thanks, Alec.”
“No, no, I didn’t mean it like that-”
I laughed.
“I’m kidding.”
He grinned, then gasped in pain and fell silent. After a moment I sighed.
“Alec, how much do you get beaten up?”
“What?”
“How much do you get beaten up?”
“Um...” He fidgeted.
“Alec.”
“Okay, fine, every day. Every fucking day, alright?”
“Hey, hey, I’m just asking. Every afternoon when I pick you up, you look like you’ve been knocked around. Yeah, I notice the Band-Aids disappearing from the bathroom.”
He stared down at his hands, his face glowing red.
“You can tell me this stuff, Alec.”
He looked up at me furiously.
“No, I can’t! You’re not my father, you’re not family, do you know how hard it is, telling this stuff to you?”
“I can imagine.”
“No you can’t, you were never like me, you had a father you could tell your problems to!”
I glared at him.
“For your information, my parents were divorced, just like yours. I grew up with my mother. I didn’t have a whole family for nine years like you did. It was just me and my mother, right here in New Jersey. If I were you, I’d gather information before making accusations.”
He recoiled slightly, looking shocked and scared. I didn’t blame him. There was a cold fury behind my words that he had never experienced from me before.
“I didn’t know that.”
“That’s obvious.”
“Why did you never tell me this stuff?”
“You never bothered to ask.”
“How am I supposed to know what I need to ask? ‘Excuse me Frank, were your parents divorced?’ We were on the subject of divorce so many times, it would have taken you five seconds to mention it.”
I glared at him. He was right, I could have mentioned it any number of times. After 30 seconds of glaring while I thought this through, he looked down.
“I’m sorry, Frank.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, no, don’t be sorry, it’s my fault. You’re right, I never bothered to tell you all this stuff about me that you need to know.”
We sat in silence for a moment, then I stood up.
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, Alec.”
He looked up at me.
“What? Oh, okay. Bye.”
At the door I paused.
“Um, Alec?”
“Yeah?”
“I... Um... Take care, Alec. I’m sorry, I’m not exactly on planet earth today.”
He smiled sadly.
“It’s okay.”
“Bye.”
“Bye Frank.”
I walked out, closing the door behind me.
Maybe this is what it feels like to be a father...