Status: Complete.
Marked with Silence
Analyzing
Max was the perfect guy. Muscular. Tall. Pretty eyes. Nice hair. White teeth. As gay (literally) as that sounded, it was all I could think about when l was lying in bed. Inadequate. That was the word that kept popping in my head. Next to Max, I was definitely inadequate. Boney. Lanky. Plain eyes. Yellow teeth.
And he was a perfect person too. I could just tell that he was one of the good guys. And he talked of Sapphira like nothing else even mattered. Like, if he had her, than he’d never need or want anything ever again. He would do absolutely anything for her. He was so in love with her.
And the sad thing was: I wasn’t sure if I loved her more.
I kept asking myself if I would have done all of those things that Max did. Would I have watched over her 24/7? Would I have made her eat? Would I have made sure she didn’t try suicide? Sapphria basically owed her life to Max. And I didn’t think that bond was breakable. I honestly didn’t think I was a strong as Max was—both physically and emotionally.
It was a scary thing to think about—another guy loving the girl you love more. I was scared shitless.
12:48.
Sapphira still hadn’t called. It had been almost two hours since I left. Either Sapphira broke her promise or Max was still over there talking, and Sapphira didn’t break promises.
1:13.
Amore minutes passed I became more restless. I went from surfing the web, to cleaning my room, to trying new ways to wear my hair.
At 2: 29, my cell phone finally rang.
I practically dove for it, “Hello?”
“Hey,” came the quiet voice.
“Is Max there?” The question sounded harsher than I had meant it to come out.
“I told him to go to a motel.”
That meant that they were at a place where Sapphira would have let Max stay over. It made me wonder how far they had gone when they were dating.
I fought my tongue from forming words. I wanted her to speak first. I wanted her to make the first move.
“We…we, just talked. I owed him a lot of explanations and a lot of apologies.”
I nodded slightly, “And now you owe them to me.”
“Why?”
My eyebrows came together, “What do you mean ‘Why?’”
“Why do I owe you them to you, Jerome?”She sounded irritated. “What happened then doesn’t concern you. It’s late, and I would rather not talk about this right now.”
I sucked my teeth, “’It’s late,’ huh? You are telling me that it’s late. Ha. I’ve waited all night for you to finish talking with Max to call, and now you don’t want to talk.”
“Ugh,” she exclaimed. “Just know that Max being here affects nothing and that he won’t be here for long.”
I sprang off of my bed and walked from the head to the foot of it, back and forth. “Why won’t you tell me what you two talked about it?” It was hard to not raise my voice, remembering that I was the only one up in the entire house.
“Why do you have this need to know every single detail about me?”
“Why do you have the need to keep it from me?
At that point I knew that I was being petty, but I couldn’t help myself.
“I need my secrets. I need them. Maybe I’ll tell you everything eventually, but I just can’t right now.
“What if I say that that’s not good enough for me?
She didn’t say anything for a while, “Then you’re not good enough for me.”
The line disconnected, which meant that Sapphira had hung up. I just stood there. The silent phone still pressed to my ear as I rapidly blinked. She was so goddamn confusing.
I thought of all the things that weren’t supposed to be mentioned in a relationship. The facts that were known but were never dared spoken.
Physically, I was the lucky one in the relationship. Sapphira was what almost every high school boy fantasized of in their bedrooms. Beautiful, sexy, cute—she was all three. And she was dating me. I had a small head with a skinny body. I knew I wasn’t ugly, girls had told me that I was pretty adorable. But I wasn’t the guy in the story that got a girl like Sapphira.
But looking closer at the entire picture, she was the one that was lucky to be with me. I was the boy dating the emotional, basket-case, tragedy of a girl. I was the one that put up with her outbreaks and minimal talking and depressive moods.
But now, that feat was a speck next to what Max did for her.
I didn’t know who the lucky one was now.
Although, throwing Max into the picture, I was pretty sure it was me.
And he was a perfect person too. I could just tell that he was one of the good guys. And he talked of Sapphira like nothing else even mattered. Like, if he had her, than he’d never need or want anything ever again. He would do absolutely anything for her. He was so in love with her.
And the sad thing was: I wasn’t sure if I loved her more.
I kept asking myself if I would have done all of those things that Max did. Would I have watched over her 24/7? Would I have made her eat? Would I have made sure she didn’t try suicide? Sapphria basically owed her life to Max. And I didn’t think that bond was breakable. I honestly didn’t think I was a strong as Max was—both physically and emotionally.
It was a scary thing to think about—another guy loving the girl you love more. I was scared shitless.
12:48.
Sapphira still hadn’t called. It had been almost two hours since I left. Either Sapphira broke her promise or Max was still over there talking, and Sapphira didn’t break promises.
1:13.
Amore minutes passed I became more restless. I went from surfing the web, to cleaning my room, to trying new ways to wear my hair.
At 2: 29, my cell phone finally rang.
I practically dove for it, “Hello?”
“Hey,” came the quiet voice.
“Is Max there?” The question sounded harsher than I had meant it to come out.
“I told him to go to a motel.”
That meant that they were at a place where Sapphira would have let Max stay over. It made me wonder how far they had gone when they were dating.
I fought my tongue from forming words. I wanted her to speak first. I wanted her to make the first move.
“We…we, just talked. I owed him a lot of explanations and a lot of apologies.”
I nodded slightly, “And now you owe them to me.”
“Why?”
My eyebrows came together, “What do you mean ‘Why?’”
“Why do I owe you them to you, Jerome?”She sounded irritated. “What happened then doesn’t concern you. It’s late, and I would rather not talk about this right now.”
I sucked my teeth, “’It’s late,’ huh? You are telling me that it’s late. Ha. I’ve waited all night for you to finish talking with Max to call, and now you don’t want to talk.”
“Ugh,” she exclaimed. “Just know that Max being here affects nothing and that he won’t be here for long.”
I sprang off of my bed and walked from the head to the foot of it, back and forth. “Why won’t you tell me what you two talked about it?” It was hard to not raise my voice, remembering that I was the only one up in the entire house.
“Why do you have this need to know every single detail about me?”
“Why do you have the need to keep it from me?
At that point I knew that I was being petty, but I couldn’t help myself.
“I need my secrets. I need them. Maybe I’ll tell you everything eventually, but I just can’t right now.
“What if I say that that’s not good enough for me?
She didn’t say anything for a while, “Then you’re not good enough for me.”
The line disconnected, which meant that Sapphira had hung up. I just stood there. The silent phone still pressed to my ear as I rapidly blinked. She was so goddamn confusing.
I thought of all the things that weren’t supposed to be mentioned in a relationship. The facts that were known but were never dared spoken.
Physically, I was the lucky one in the relationship. Sapphira was what almost every high school boy fantasized of in their bedrooms. Beautiful, sexy, cute—she was all three. And she was dating me. I had a small head with a skinny body. I knew I wasn’t ugly, girls had told me that I was pretty adorable. But I wasn’t the guy in the story that got a girl like Sapphira.
But looking closer at the entire picture, she was the one that was lucky to be with me. I was the boy dating the emotional, basket-case, tragedy of a girl. I was the one that put up with her outbreaks and minimal talking and depressive moods.
But now, that feat was a speck next to what Max did for her.
I didn’t know who the lucky one was now.
Although, throwing Max into the picture, I was pretty sure it was me.
♠ ♠ ♠
The next chapter will be longer.