Black Cloaks, Red Clouds, Purple Nail Polish

"Hannah Montana is so pretty, Tenshi-sempai." Tobi blushed watching the girl prance about on the TV. Tenshi rolled her eyes but nodded silently, hoping to cease any further conversation as she really didn't feel like talking. So far her day had been pretty eventful. Kohana had to take Itachi to his 10:30 morning psych evaluation for an update on his medicine.

No sooner had those two left, Deidara and Hidan got into a physical fight in the bathroom over hair mousse and a brush. At the moment, she was contemplating how she could successfully blame the burn marks from a fire that had been left on the walls in the upstairs hallway. She originally thought to blame Tobi but when Kohana left he had been glued to Hannah. Of course, since Deidara actually had been involved, it wouldn't be too much to stretch the truth a little to explain it all away. With those two unconscious, there would be no one to dispute it.

So far so good. Poor Kohana wasn't able to command half the control of the men that she could. Maybe she should be put in charge? The thought had merit...until Tenshi realized that with her short fuse, the headquarters would be nothing more than a pile of ash and she would be the only one left to represent the Akatsuki...

"YOU CAN'T HOG THE TABLE ALL DAY, SASORI!"

"WHAT DO YOU NEED IT FOR ANYWAY?!"

"TO COUNT MY MONEY!"

"DO IT ON THE FLOOR!"

"WHY SHOULD I USE THE DIRTY FLOOR?!"

"I don't think it will make much of a difference seeing as you look like you just climbed out of your coffin today and seem to avoid the shower religiously."

"YOU STUPID SONNOFA--"

"IF I HAVE TO COME IN THERE, ONE OF YOU WILL LOSE THEIR HEAD AND THE OTHER WILL LOSE THEIR ASS. DO YOU WANT TO DECIDE WHO WILL LOSE WHAT BEFORE I GET UP?!"

The reply was pure and total silence.

Tenshi sighed and leaned back. Sometimes it was appealing to just blow the whole place to hell. Another episode of Hannah Montana came and went. 'Geez. Just how mental is Itachi?'

Kisame bounded down the hall, flew down the stairs, hopped over the rail and landed with a earth shaking thud near the end of the couch. "I need the TV!"

Tobi looke at him blankly before turning back to Hannah. "People in hell need ice water."

Tenshi snickered as Kisame's face scrunched up. "But Shark Week's starting today! I could see my parents on TV!"

Tenshi blinked a few times. "So...you're not human?"

"Yes! I just don't know what they look like...or could look like..."

"I was here first, Kisame-san. You'll have to wait your turn like Kohana-sempai asked." Tobi pointed to the schedule poseted on the wall near the TV. He still had an hour left.

"Gah! But I could miss them!"

"I said no."

"Kisame, it isn't like there will be a flashing notice across the screen stating that they're your parents and they're looking for you." Tenshi noted.

"Fine then." Kisame huffed and marched over to the TV.

"Well just ignore the voice of--Kisame you wouldn't dare--" Tenshi began to stand up on the couch. He ignored her and bent down to bear hug the TV. Tobi's eye widened as Kisame lifted it up off its stand, ripping the plug out of the socket.

"I'll just...watch it in my room." Kisame grunted, turning towards the stairs. The cord somehow wrapped around one of his legs, causing him to stumble.

"Baka! Watch what you're--"

But it was too late. He began to fall forward and landed on top of the TV, smashing it into thousands of tiny pieces. The crash attracted all of the males in the household. Kisame rolled off of the mess, holding his ribs. "Ow..."

"I told you to leave it alone, moron." Tenshi said, peeking into the living room from the kitchen, eyes darting from the shattered TV to the eerily silent Tobi.

"What the hell, yeah?!" Deidara was the first to complain. "How will I watch my soap operas?"

"It was an accident!" Kisame exclaimed picking glass out of his forearm.

"HOW WILL I KEEP UP WITH THE STOCK MARKET?!" An already pissed Kakuzu filed in with Sasori on his heels.

"A-C-C-I-D-E-N-T!!!"

"HOW WILL I WATCH CSI: MIAMI?!" Sasori all but screamed.

"I DON'T WATCH TV BUT I WANT TO YELL TOO!" Hidan joined in.

"Kisame-san..."

Everyone turned slowly to look at the masked little good boy sitting on the couch, looking down at his hands. "Kisame-san, you killed Hannah."

"....I did what now?" Kisame scratched his head and stood up slowly.

Tobi stood up and Tenshi bolted for the door, screaming about a "good boy gone mad."

"Tobi-san?" Deidara eyed him carefully.

"Since the magic box that held my precious Hannah's life is destroyed, it's only fair that you all join her." He moved over to the fireplace which had the battle axe Leader used for his walk on role of "Xena: Warrior Princess" mounted over it. It was only after he had snatched the thing down off the wall as if it were nothing more than a daisy in a field that lightbulbs clicked on, understanding what the deranged man meant to do with it.

And they scattered like roaches.

Tobi let out a battle cry that Xena would have been proud of and took off, catching and hacking away at Kisame's petrified form. Once Kisame stopped twitching, his eyes scanned the room and he took off after his next target.

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"That doctor doesn't have one fucking iota of a clue of what the hell he's talking about." Itachi spat struggling with seat belt. "I'm not fucking blind and I'm not fucking bipolar!"

Kohana reached over and quickly pressed the red button for him, outraging him and causing him to slap at her hand wildly with both of his own.

"I CAN DO IT! I CAN DO IT!" He yelled. "I'M NOT A DAMNED BABY!"

Before Kohana could respond, someone ran smack into her door screaming, coating the window with blood before sliding down unconscious. She and Itachi clung to each other (with her in Itachi's lap from trying to get away from the window) screaming until the person had stopped screaming. "Who the hell was that?!"

THUD!

Both heads whipped around to find Tenshi crouching down on the hood of the car, white hair blowing wildly in the approaching storm's violent winds, red eyes dark and omnious. "You don't want to go in there."

"W-why not?" Kohana asked slipping out of Itachi's lap.

"Kisame broke the TV...and Tobi lost it."

Kohana gasped and opened Itachi's door, climbing over him and out of the car. "Tell me Hannah wasn't on."

Tenshi only nodded.

"DAMN!" Kohana started to run to the front door.

Itachi got out of the car and went to the other side. "Ha!" He pointed and did a little jig, pointing to Deidara's half-chopped up form. "Hot people don't allow non-hot people to make them un-hot like them. Baka."

Tenshi ignored the Mega Baka and looked at the house. "It's a good thing that everyone's damn near immortal..."