It's Not A Love Song

Inevitably Leon caught my cold a mere three days later and was sleeping in his bunk while I sat, feeling guilty for getting him ill. I brought him food when he asked me and made sure he was comfortable while the rest of my family all hung out in the venue.

I sat alone, watching TV while Leon slept, bored. But then Joe poked his head through the bus door. I put my fingers to my lips signalling him to be quiet, he nodded with a smile. He wore a white v-neck and some black skinnies with a dark brown leather jacket rolled up at the sleeves and a black beanie.

“Wanna come for some lunch with me? I’m tired of catering.” He whispered.

I looked back to the bunk area and sighed, he wouldn’t like me to leave him. What if he needed something from me? It’s my fault he’s ill anyway. But I was hungry and I did need some time with my friends. This was the first time in a month Joe had asked me to do anything with him.

I decided to follow my heart and go out to dinner with him. “I’ll just get changed.” He gave me a bright smile.

I pulled off my clothes and threw them into the corner of the back room and slipped on a denim dress and my favourite pair of Louboutin shoes. I clipped on my multilink golden watch and then some peach sunglasses into my curled hair. Quickly I powered my face and put on some skin coloured lip gloss.

Joe and I left the tour bus and Joe drove one of the cars we brought with us on tour, a black SUV, just in case we wanted to go somewhere. I climbed into the passenger’s seat and put on my belt.

Joe and I cracked on during the car ride there then he dropped me off outside of the restaurant to get a table while he tried to park the car. I nervously walked into the restaurant and waited at the podium, a man in a suit came over to me quickly with a smile.

“Hi, table for two. He’s just parking the car.” I said with a bright smile to the man.

He scribbled something down then placed the pen back down. “Okay then.” He picked up two menus and I followed him to a table in the middle of the half full restaurant.

I already knew what I wanted to I just had to wait for Joe to come, only a minute later he was speeding up the steps and through the door with a grimace on his face. I furrowed my eye brows at him and he rolled his eyes.

Joe sat down opposite me and pushing himself closer to the table. “Paparazzi, I’m not in the mood today.” He sighed and picked up the menu from the middle of the table.

I smiled at him sadly, it was hard for him to deal with the attention. Behind the funny laughs at the dreamy face, he’s very vulnerable. He’d never show it to anyone but I could always see it and a few special fans that care for him and are very observant.

I didn’t know why he was looking at the menu, I could tell him what he was going to order; burger and fries. The waited came over to the table with his small pad of paper and a smile on his face.

“What can I get you?” He asked.

I motioned to Joe who let out a laugh, “Two diet cokes, a tuna melt and a burger with fries.”

I grinned, this was so natural to us and I’d missed it. I rested my elbows on the table and folded my arms over each other, Joe watched me closely occasionally mimicking my actions.

“I think it’s time we had a proper friend talk.” I told him, tucking some hair behind my ear. He nodded in agreement, “You don’t like my boyfriend and I don’t like your girlfriend.”

“It’s a dilemma.” Joe agreed.

I smiled sadly, “Sure is.” I mumbled, “I don’t want it to get in the way of our friendship though. I love you too much to just give up.”

Joe looked at me, the corners of his lips turned upwards and his eyes shining. His eyes darted away from mine and to the waiter who was placing our food and drinks on the table, then they locked back onto mine. “Thanks.” Joe said to him signalling him to walk away.

I grabbed some mayonnaise from the small pot in the middle of the table and squirted it onto my plate while Joe put some tomato sauce onto his burger and some salt onto his fries. I took a bite out of my tuna melt, tasting the familiar mix of cheese and tuna was welcoming. Joe was right, I was tired of catering and I didn’t even know it.

After chatting about random things and eating we sat, finishing off our drinks. “You seemed shocked earlier, when I told you I love you.” He shrugged his shoulder, sipping some more coke, “I’ve known you since I was born Joe, of course I love you.”

“And I love you. Which is why—”

“What the?” I whispered to my self as I gazed through the window to see Leon climbing the steps of the restaurant.

Joe followed my eyes, “What?” He asked me.

“Leon is here.”

Just as those words came out of my mouth Leon burst through the door, eyes on me. He came straight over to me, scaring me slightly. “Can I speak to you outside?”

I looked to Joe, “One second, I’ll meet you out there.”

Leon looked between the two of us and eventually retreated. “Why won’t he just talk to you in here?” Joe whispered.

“Because he knows you won’t come outside with the press around. And it’s private, don’t worry.” I stood up, kissed Joe’s cheek and scurried outside.

Leon leaned against one of the trees outside, in the shade with his sunglasses on. I quickly walked over to him and leaned against the wall opposite him. “Why did you leave me?”

“I went to go have lunch with Joe, as you can see.” I explained, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Yes, but you were supposed to be with me. Do you love him more is that it?” He accused sharply.

I let out a groan, “Of course not you’re my boyfriend!”

Leon laughed and stepped closer to me, pushing me further against the wall. I could feel his breath on my skin making me shudder. “But if you loved me you’d be with me. You don’t need to go to dinner with him, you have me.”

“But he’s my friend.”

“He’s getting in the way of our relationship!” Leon shouted, punching the wall beside my head. I flinched, closing my eyes tightly and clenching my teeth. “Why are you doing this to me?”

He took my chin in his hand and gripped it roughly, I gritted my teeth and stuck through it. It was my fault anyway, I should have at least told him where I was going. It was rude of me to just leave him without him knowing where I was. He only ever got mad with me when I did things wrong which is fair enough.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered touching his face, he recoiled and began to pace in a circle.

“You need to stay away from him. If you love me and you want to be with me, stay away from him because I can’t fucking handle it.”

While he paced about I glanced around and saw Joe watching through the window of the restaurant. “Sorry.” I mouthed to him and turned back to Leon who was also looking to Joe.

“You can’t even pay attention to me!” He shouted, grabbing my arm and pulling me down the street.

I winced at the pressure being put on my muscles and let a few tears roll down my cheek. I turned around to see Joe following us, speeding ahead of the paparazzi that chased him. My heart pounded erratically against my rib cage as he pushed me into the back of an awaiting cab, climbed in next to me and slammed the door.

The cab drive pulled away, leaving Joe at the side of the road. I watched him run down the street, pulling his keys from his pocket. I folded my arms over my chest and wiped my tears away.

“I’m sorry.” I told Leon, looking at his distant but beautiful face.

He seemed so much more loving now, calmer, he was the Leon I loved. He didn’t mean it, he meant none of the harsh words or the painful blows to my ego. Because I know he loves me.

He loves me.