Status: Updating!
Morbid Symphony
Remembering.
"Do you know what's worth fighting for,
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating."
I stand up from the chair I am sitting on, and walk towards the window. It is raining outside. The raindrops dripping wildly on the window pain. It is causing loud splat sounds. I rest my palm on the window, and stick my face towards it. My mind flashes back old memories, of me and him, dancing in the parking lot, underneath the pouring rain. I shake those thoughts away, and remove my face from the window.
I pick up my iPod, and the piece of paper, hoping that this would be enough to keep my mind occupied.
"Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide
Did someone break your heart inside
you're in ruins."
I lip sync along to the loud music booming out of my earphones, as I walk towards the bathroom. Memories from last night, still stuck in my mind. I clutch the piece of paper close to my heart, then sigh. I wonder why I am acting this way. I shake my head, and throw the paper on top of the sink. I stare at myself in the mirror. I open the water, and let it flow, allowing the water to run.
"One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
you and I."
I notice that my eye bags were deeper, and that my face looks pale. I look different, compared to how I looked before I came here. I wash my face with warm refreshing water. I suddenly feel wide awake. I wipe away the droplets of water remaining on my face, with a towel. I walk out of the bathroom, and head towards the window once more.
"When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And you thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul."
I sigh as I lip sync along to the lyrics of the song. Tears start to well up in my eyes. I couldn't control it anymore. All those months of feelings bottled up inside of me, now finally releases as I cry endlessly, sobbing into my hands.
"Why did he ever have to die?" I ask the ceiling above me.
"Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins."
My mind traces back to the moment. That moment that crushed my heart forever. My sobs become louder, and more tears start to pour out of my eyes. I try to force myself to stop crying. But I could not do it. My heart was aching all too much. It throbbed in pain, as the memories keep coming back to me.
"One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
you and I."
All those happy memories, of us singing, laughing, and dancing together. They were all coming back to me, making the pain much worse. The impact on me was huge, and I couldn't stop myself from sobbing. I could tell that my nose was red, and that it was clogging up. I sniff as I continue to stare out the window. I pull my legs towards my chest, and sob even more.
"Did you try to live on your own
When your burned down the house and home."
I could've saved him. I could've prevented it from happening. If I wasn't too chicken, he could still be alive, and I wouldn't be here right now, mourning over his death.
"Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone"
I can never ever forgive myself for what has happened. It was all because of me.
Those last few moments, were because I was focusing on what I was seeing across the road, not to realize that I was about to get hit by a truck. It kept beeping widely at me, and I did not dare glance at the sound causing it. And the next thing I remember, as that I was being pushed aside. And his lifeless body lay on the floor surrounded by blood. I felt shock, as I stare at it, laying there. And those last few seconds of his life kept coming back to me, and from that day onwards, I always blame myself for his death.
"When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins."
And that's when I finally breakdown, after all these months. After all these months of trying to be okay. Of pretending that I wasn't that affected by his death. And no matter how much they told me that I was going to be alright, I knew deep down inside me that that wasn't true. That I could never be alright.
"One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
you and I."
This song was his favorite. He would always sing along, once it is being played in the radio. And he would always be the first in line to buy Greenday's newest album. He would always make me tag along whenever they were having a concert, and no matter how far it is, he makes it a point that I am with him.
"One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
you and I."
It would always remind me of him. How he smiles, how he always made my day better, how he always makes me laugh when he tells a joke. I would never forget the way he calls me, the way he ties his shoelaces in a very unique manner. The way he eats pasta, his favorite food. How he sings to me, during my birthday. How he never forgets to tell me 'good morning', or 'good night'. How he would always give me a bouquet of Star Gazers every Valentine's day.
And I would never forget how he loved me.
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating."
I stand up from the chair I am sitting on, and walk towards the window. It is raining outside. The raindrops dripping wildly on the window pain. It is causing loud splat sounds. I rest my palm on the window, and stick my face towards it. My mind flashes back old memories, of me and him, dancing in the parking lot, underneath the pouring rain. I shake those thoughts away, and remove my face from the window.
I pick up my iPod, and the piece of paper, hoping that this would be enough to keep my mind occupied.
"Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide
Did someone break your heart inside
you're in ruins."
I lip sync along to the loud music booming out of my earphones, as I walk towards the bathroom. Memories from last night, still stuck in my mind. I clutch the piece of paper close to my heart, then sigh. I wonder why I am acting this way. I shake my head, and throw the paper on top of the sink. I stare at myself in the mirror. I open the water, and let it flow, allowing the water to run.
"One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
you and I."
I notice that my eye bags were deeper, and that my face looks pale. I look different, compared to how I looked before I came here. I wash my face with warm refreshing water. I suddenly feel wide awake. I wipe away the droplets of water remaining on my face, with a towel. I walk out of the bathroom, and head towards the window once more.
"When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And you thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul."
I sigh as I lip sync along to the lyrics of the song. Tears start to well up in my eyes. I couldn't control it anymore. All those months of feelings bottled up inside of me, now finally releases as I cry endlessly, sobbing into my hands.
"Why did he ever have to die?" I ask the ceiling above me.
"Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins."
My mind traces back to the moment. That moment that crushed my heart forever. My sobs become louder, and more tears start to pour out of my eyes. I try to force myself to stop crying. But I could not do it. My heart was aching all too much. It throbbed in pain, as the memories keep coming back to me.
"One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
you and I."
All those happy memories, of us singing, laughing, and dancing together. They were all coming back to me, making the pain much worse. The impact on me was huge, and I couldn't stop myself from sobbing. I could tell that my nose was red, and that it was clogging up. I sniff as I continue to stare out the window. I pull my legs towards my chest, and sob even more.
"Did you try to live on your own
When your burned down the house and home."
I could've saved him. I could've prevented it from happening. If I wasn't too chicken, he could still be alive, and I wouldn't be here right now, mourning over his death.
"Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone"
I can never ever forgive myself for what has happened. It was all because of me.
Those last few moments, were because I was focusing on what I was seeing across the road, not to realize that I was about to get hit by a truck. It kept beeping widely at me, and I did not dare glance at the sound causing it. And the next thing I remember, as that I was being pushed aside. And his lifeless body lay on the floor surrounded by blood. I felt shock, as I stare at it, laying there. And those last few seconds of his life kept coming back to me, and from that day onwards, I always blame myself for his death.
"When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins."
And that's when I finally breakdown, after all these months. After all these months of trying to be okay. Of pretending that I wasn't that affected by his death. And no matter how much they told me that I was going to be alright, I knew deep down inside me that that wasn't true. That I could never be alright.
"One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
you and I."
This song was his favorite. He would always sing along, once it is being played in the radio. And he would always be the first in line to buy Greenday's newest album. He would always make me tag along whenever they were having a concert, and no matter how far it is, he makes it a point that I am with him.
"One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
you and I."
It would always remind me of him. How he smiles, how he always made my day better, how he always makes me laugh when he tells a joke. I would never forget the way he calls me, the way he ties his shoelaces in a very unique manner. The way he eats pasta, his favorite food. How he sings to me, during my birthday. How he never forgets to tell me 'good morning', or 'good night'. How he would always give me a bouquet of Star Gazers every Valentine's day.
And I would never forget how he loved me.
♠ ♠ ♠
I do not own the lyrics of the song. All of the credits go to Greenday, and their song 21 Guns. :DComments? CC's? Or whatever? :D It's always welcome! :D