One of the Boys...Right?

*Bam*

Kelsey and JJ were back on stage with the other performers.

“And the winner of this year’s ‘Musicals’ talent show is...Kelsey and Jessica with their spellbinding performance of ‘Defying Gravity’ from ‘Wicked’!” the judge read off. We all clapped and cheered. Jess and Kelsey’s smiles were wide as they accepted a small trophy before bowing once more. The people on the stage all bowed and filed off into the audience. JJ and Kelsey came running up the aisle. But they stopped about 10 feet from us and started talking to the woman I had seen with JJ on the first day of school. Kelsey nodded at JJ before JJ handed the trophy over to the woman. The woman threw her arms around JJ. After the woman let her go, JJ and Kelsey came running to us.

“Who did you give the trophy to?” I asked her.

“My voice teacher.” she was smiling still.

“Is your face frozen like that?” I teased as the two of us walked down the hallway.

“I don’t care. But I’m exhausted. And I kind of wish my parents were here...” her words faded and so did her smile.

“They would be proud of you.” I reminded her. We stopped in front of the girls bathroom.

“Be right back.” she ducked inside. A few minutes later, she came back out in green sweat pants with ‘WICKED’ written up the side in black, and a black hoodie that said ‘DEFY GRAVITY’ on the back in green. She was still wearing the witch hat.

“Damn, JJ. You’re a Wicked girl.” I laughed. Her happy smile was replaced with a sad one.

“My dad told me that when he took me to see Wicked for the first time.” she closed her eyes and a tear escaped from under one of her eyelids.

“Shit, JJ! I didn’t mean to...” I tried to apologize.

“It’s fine. Everything reminds me of them. Whenever I try to be happy, I’m reminded of them. I guess I’ve let being happy go to my head.” she started walking but I caught her arm.

“Jessie.” I used her baby nickname, the one she usually hated. But instead of giving me a dirty look, she was silent.

“There’s nothing wrong with being happy. You sang like a f*cking angel tonight. Like I said, your parents would be proud of you...just like your friends are.” I said.

“But I feel like I shouldn’t be happy. A bunch of students are dead. Everyone’s talking about my breakdown. I keep feeling like I haven’t seen the last of Chase. And everything still reminds me of my parents. How can anyone be happy?” she asked me.

“By taking it one day at a time. Forget the past. Don’t think about tomorrow. Live for today.” I said. She shook my hand off of her arm.

“I can’t forget the past, Bam. I don’t know how you could ask me that. And thinking about tomorrow helps me get through today. Maybe you don’t know how precious life is, but I do. And I can’t forget that.” her eyes hardened. I put my hands on her shoulders.

“I’m not trying to offend you. But you can’t keep living back in the past. You need to start letting go.” I whispered.

“I’m scared to.” she admitted.

“Then, please, let us help.” I begged.

“I’m scared to do that, too. I keep thinking that I’ll be too much emotion for all of you. I don’t want you guys to deal with that kind of strain.” she shook her head.

“We would do anything for you, JJ. You need to know that. I don’t know about the rest of the guys, but I’m positive that you and Kelsey mean everything to us. None of us want to see you or her in any kind of pain. But if you still can’t let all of us in...then please...let me in.” I finished. Her knees buckled under her and I caught her in my arms. We slowly sank to the floor together. Her witch hat fell to the ground as she dropped her skirt and tank top.

“I know you don’t need the extra pressure, but I want to help you.” I whispered as she buried her face in the front of my hoodie. Her shoulders shook as she let out 8 years of pain. After a minute or so, my knees began to hurt, so I sat down completely, with her in my lap.

Soon, she lifted her head.

“I’m sorry your hoodie is now soaking wet.” she whispered.

“Feel better?” I asked. She wrapped her arms around me.

“Thank you.” I could hear her say.