That Should Be Me

I stared at the clock,2:30am I sighed, I couldn’t fall asleep I had way to much on my mind and I was still very upset. My phone vibrated and I grabbed it and opened the one new text; ‘I’m sorry xx’

I sighed and decided to reply, ‘For what?’. A few minutes later my phone vibrated again, ‘You know…earlier. I didn’t mean to hurt you. :(‘

I sighed.

‘Then what did you mean to do?’ I replied quickly. ‘I…I don’t know Nick, just Cassidy started talking to me about you and I don’t know.’

‘Call me.’ I replied again and she called me after a few minutes.

“What did she tell you?” I asked when I answered the phone.

“Just that you're her best friend and soon you’ll be her boyfriend.” She said and I sighed.

“Is that it?” I asked

“Yes.”

“So you still think I should be with her?” I asked. She stood quiet for a few seconds.

“Yes…” she said quietly.

“Why!?” I asked confused.

“Its uh complicated Nick” She said and I groaned.

“Well make it un-complicated” I said getting frustrated.

“Nick you know I love you.” She said.

“I thought I did.” I said.

“I do but maybe we should just talk about this tomorrow.” She said.

“No, we’re going to talk about this right now.” I told her and she sighed.

“Can you come over?” She asked in a small voice.

“Okay.” I said.

*

I looked at her as we sat on her bed. “What’s wrong?” I asked her.

“I love you.” She told me.

“I love you too D but-”

“I never dumped him.” She said before I could finish.

“What?” I asked confused.

“Nick don’t make me say it again” She whispered.

I was furious.

“D how could you fucking do this to me!?” I asked standing up and raising my voice.

“Please Nick, just calm down” She said.

“Calm down? How the fuck do you expect me to calm down!” I said.

“Nick, baby please.” She said. I scoffed.

“Choose one.” I told her.

“What?” she asked.

“It’s either me or him and if it’s him I will make sure that we’ll never see each other again.” I told her, she looked down at her feet and I could tell that I hurt her.

“D choose one now.” I said. She sighed

“Ugh I don’t know Nick!” She groaned.

“Why is this so hard for you?” I asked.

“I don’t know Nick, I mean you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me” She said and I sat beside her.

“Then be with me” I said. She ran her hand through my hair.

“I wish it was that simple.” She said.

“And why isn’t it?” I asked.

“I just can’t break up with Ricky.” She said.

“Why not!?” I whined.

“I just can’t”

“Would it be easier breaking up with me?” I asked.

“Yes.” She said and I got up and headed for her door.

“Nick please don’t” She said as she grabbed my hand.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because if I broke up with you I know you’d never hurt me.” She said and I turned to face her

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked and she looked at me as if she regretted what she just told me.

“Nothing.” She said and I sat her on her bed and I sat next to her.

“No. Tell me” I said.

“Nick its nothing.” She said.

“D is he hurting you?” I asked.

“No” She said but she didn’t look at me.

“Tell me the truth D.” I said softly and she burst into tears and that’s when I knew.

“I’m going to fucking kill him” I said. I was livid. Hell I was more then livid.

“Nick don’t” she said as the tears ran down her face. I placed her on my lap and held her close to me.

“Don’t tell him I told you.” She said.

“D are you kidding me? I’m going to fucking murder him.”

“Nick please don’t” she said once more and I laid her on the bed and I sighed.

“Why do you do this to me baby?” I asked as I wiped a tear from her cheek and I kissed her.

I began lifting her shirt but she stopped me. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing we should just stop.” She said pulling her shirt down.

I looked at her, what is she hiding?

I kissed her again and lifted her shirt up farther, and that’s when I saw it.

“Holy shit” I said and she quickly pulled her shirt down and I lifted it again.

“Nick stop!” She said

“No.” I said “He did that to you?”

“Nick just drop it.”

“Take it off.” I said not meaning anything sexual as I said it. She shook her head no so I was forced to do it myself. Her whole left side of her torso was black and purple

“Shit, baby.” I said and she burst into tears again.

“When did this start?” I asked.

“A month before you came back to Cali”

“THAT LONG!?” I asked. This pissed me off. I was fucking upset that some dick did this to her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you Nick” She said,

“Its, it’s alright.” I said comforting her; I didn’t realize how upset I was until her crying made me want to break down. I held her close to me and kissed her.

*

I guess we fell asleep because I woke up and the sun was shining. “Wake up babe” I whispered and she opened her eyes and smiled at me.

“What time is it?” she asked. “11:45” I said looking at my phone.

Her phone started to ring and she looked at it and sighed. “Who is it?” I asked.

“No one…” she said and I took her phone out of her hands and answered it.

“Nick are you fucking crazy?” She whispered.

“Hello? Oh Ricky, yeah it’s me Nick, Mhmm I’m at D’s house but I was just leaving and she wants you to come over now” I looked at D and she was looking out the window and I stroked her hair causing her to look at me

“K she will see you soon.” I said and I hung up the phone.

“Nick why’d you invite him over here?” She asked

“Because I told you, I’m going to fucking murder him”