Holding My Heart

**************
Pete’s POV

I reached up as best as I could as I caught the poker. I had at least shifted it a little to the right and it must have missed my heart by centimeters when it finally came down at me. My sternum was killing me and my lungs hurt. I started to cough slightly and Brendon glared down at me before looking over to his left.

I looked over and I could see Ann leaning on the railing, “Brendon don’t. Not Peter. Anyone but Pete.”

I forced it as hard as I could up with the help of Ann’s distraction I sent the handle into Brendon’s chest. This was the second time tonight he was impaled and with the same object. He returned his gaze down at me and tired to move shifting the part in me.

I spoke through coughs of blood and pants, “Move Urie and I’ll take you with me.”

Brendon started to laugh at down at me while I could feel the warm blood from his body drip onto me, mixing with my own, “You’re kidding.”

I shifted across the floor slightly and he moved to mirror. I saw that reaction on his face. I had to of brushed his heart because he cringed before returning to laughing. He knew I was serious though he probably could move fast enough to get out of this before I could kill him.

He placed his hands on my chest and he tried to push away from me to remove the poker. This time when I shifted he couldn’t catch himself and slipped further down the poker towards me. He growled and tried to again but got no where.

I could see out of the corner of my eye Ann was trying to come closer. She was still wobbling on her legs. Patrick came and held her up as she gripped onto her head. She had to have been dizzy. Though it was nice to see the wound on her neck was healed.

She was so quiet, “Brendon–”

I looked up at him and I could see the new wound. The hole in his shirt was showing that his body was healing around the metal poker. He looked like he was in serious pain and I couldn’t help but smile to myself on the inside.

Patrick was helping Ann walk over to us and she pushed him away. She stumbled over to us and I felt horrible. I wanted to make sure she was alright but I couldn’t. I wanted to dematerialize out of here but I would just appear in the same position I was now.

I was screwed.

She fell next to us on her knees and she looked at me. I could see the tears in her eyes and she tired to smile at me. No fangs. She was still human. How she wasn’t turned I’ll never know but at least she was human and alive.

She reached out for Brendon and he didn’t notice. He was so focused on me. I looked back at him and he his breathing hitched. I mean the guy was dead but this was wrong. All that vampire blood had healed him to the poker. It was a part of him now.

I on the other hand was just bleeding, badly. I wasn’t healing as much as I should have been. I was now worried he was going to wait till I bleed out completely before moving. I wouldn’t have any strength to stop him.

“Brenny…”

Still no response from him but I spoke up through a mental conversation. Telepathy if you will, “Fucker! She’s talking to you.”

I had no strength to get the words out of my mouth. All I felt was the blood slowly falling out and across my lips. If I as a human I would have surely choke to death if not be dead already.

Brendon finally spoke quietly, “And all I loved, I loved alone.”

I tried to fur my eyebrows as he had quoted Edgar Allen Poe. I had no idea why but he distracted me from that thought as he pushed off my chest as hard as he could. It tugged on me but I could hear it rip through his chest cavity once more. He let out an animalistic sound and fell away from me. I felt the poker shift in me and I felt it begun to slice organs in there.

I was a goner.

*********
Ann’s POV

I looked down at the pile of dust and blood in front of me, “Pete!”

Pete was gone. He was gone forever. The poker must have hit his heart. I stared at the poker lying on the ground and I reached for it. Pete’s blood was starting to travel its way to my body and I let my tears fall.

“Peter.”

I could hear Brendon groan to the side of me. I couldn’t even look at him knowing that he was the reason Pete was gone. I loved Brendon but no, I couldn’t forgive this. Pete was family. Granted, Brendon has killed off enough of my family this was crossing the line. This was my Pete. He always made sure I was safe and made sure I felt loved. Thanks to Brendon I won’t be able to see him again.

Brendon’s voice was next to me, “Ann, I meant it for me. Not him.”

I let out a scream that set off my full blown crying. I leaned forward not caring if the warm blooding coating me forehead or arms as I rested against the poker. I couldn’t live with this. Call me pathetic but Pete was pretty much my father, brother, and best friend.

Brendon’s voice was so soft like times I had heard it before when we were alone and love sick, “Ann. Baby. Look at me.”

I felt his hands, one on my shoulder the other resting against on my side furthest away from him. He was so close behind me but I refused to look at him. I couldn’t. I gripped the fire poker and it felt so light under my hands.

“I said look at me!” Brendon grabbed me so hard that when he forced me to turn to him he had to dodge the fire poker still in my hands.

I fell onto my back slightly as my legs slipped away from being under me. I cringed at the force and the affect it had against my joints. I stared at him in fear as he ripped the poker away from me. He threw it behind him and leaned over me.

His hands rested on either side of my head as he leaned over me and I felt so scared. Yeah, Brendon was cured but he wasn’t himself yet. Something had changed. I figure the vampire in him made him less human and more monster.

I looked at his shirt. It was coated with blood still and all ripped up. He was healed but the blood on his shirt still made me feel like he was injured. I was more afraid of what he was going to do to me.

He smiled sweetly and one of his hands reached forward. He stroked my cheek and I stayed as still as possible. If he was going to snap at me I didn’t want to it to be my doing. Though, I couldn’t help myself, I was so upset.

I grabbed onto his hand against my cheek and forced it away from me causing him to almost fall on top of me, “Don’t touch me.”

“Stop being ridiculous–”

I could see Patrick standing near us and pointed his crossbow at Brendon and speaking in the coldest tone I had ever heard, “Get off of her.”

Brendon didn’t look at Patrick but kept his brown eyes on me, “Say goodbye.”

I could barely hear my voice, “What?”

He quickly pecked my lips and I felt the floor under me shift. I looked around and Brendon and I were somewhere else. He had brought me home. Home to my apartment I hadn’t been in so long. I was on the bed I hadn’t slept in for what felt like forever.

He was still on top of me but climbed off of me. I sat up and he started to walk over to my desk. I still had one of his coats on the chair resting. He picked it up and looked at me. He smiled before pulling it on slowly.

“Brendon–”

He looked back at me and cut me off, “Don’t worry. You’ll be fine. You’ll forget all about me. It’s going to hurt like hell for a while but I know you can get over me. You’re strong.”

He went over to my window and I jumped out of bed. He was out and onto the fire escape before I made it over there. I shoved my head out to see where he was going but I was met with the cold Chicago air and darkness.

“Brendon! Get back here! Brendon!”

But I never got a response of any kind. I don’t know how long I sat there in front of my window. I figured he’d cool off and come back. We had so much to talk about. I wasn’t even angry anymore. I couldn’t be. Brendon meant a lot to me.

I felt my eyes burn again and I pulled my knees to my chest. Now I needed Pete, more then ever. I wanted someone to tell me it was ok. I wanted to feel safe. I wanted to know that Brendon was going to be ok. I wanted my Brendon.

I wanted an undo button.

“Ann?”

I looked up and there was Patrick at my door. I got up and ran to him and clung to him. He held on to me as I cried my eyes out. I was sure I had to be dehydrated from all the tears.

“Where is Brendon?”

“He’s gone Patrick. He left me.”

*********
Brendon’s POV

I sighed as I walked down the streets of Chicago. Streets that I have been walking for plenty of years. I was used to them all. Knew them all by name. I had spent plenty of years here and now I was leaving.

I had to.

I couldn’t stay with Ann. I had done enough. Besides, William Beckett was dead. The Dandies would know soon and come after me. I couldn’t put Ann in anymore danger. I loved her but I knew now that she wasn’t meant to be with me.

She deserved something better. Something human. I was tired of trying to be the perfect man. Now that I had her I had to leave her. This was the challenge of my life. The one thing that had been haunting me. I needed to prove to myself I didn’t need her.

This though was making my heart hurt. I pressed my hand over the scars and as I kept walking. More battle wounds proving I would never have her. Even if she did forgive me I couldn’t allow her too. I couldn’t face my own damage. Call me a coward but I couldn’t.

Again, she’d be safer.

I was at war with myself. I felt that animal in me raging. Banging against the mental cage I put it in. Ever since I was deprived and poisoned it came out. It wanted to rule me like how my past had let it. I couldn’t let it out again. I had killed hundreds of people because of this rage. This inner demon.

I wanted to out run it. Just once more. If I could do that then maybe one day I could return to Ann. Maybe one day I can get on my knee in front of her and beg for her hand. But I couldn’t now. I couldn’t let this demon in me get to her. Too many times was I so close to losing myself.

Killing Pete tonight proved that.

So who knows, maybe I’ll die at the hand of the Dandies in the next few days. I don’t care. I just hoped they come for me and not Ann. They knew William loved Ann but they would think she would know where I was.

No, they could smell me leaving. I was sure.

So I continued down this dark street and out to no where. It’s been hours since I’d seen her but this was good. I was doing a good thing, for her sake. This was all for her. To give her the normal life she deserved.

The last thing I saw before picking up to a pace of a run was one sign: You’re now leaving Illinois.

**************