The Aftermath Of Losing The Savior
Your Memory Will Carry On
Chapter 6 Mikey’s P.O.V
The next morning while I laid in the arms of my friends on the couch, I heard something as if someone was moving around in the house. I got up to see who it was hoping that it would be Gerard trying to make coffee as he always would. I jumped up at that thought....I had almost forgot last night. Even to the point where I yelled out "Morning Gerard" I was so used to saying it, I’ve said it every morning since I could talk. But not to my surprise it wasn’t Gee. It was my mom cleaning. "Mom what are you doing ..how did you get in here” I asked as I adjusted my glasses. "You all don’t know how to lock doors....you need to be more careful. We live in North Jersey you know." My Mother stated. I stared at her in disbelief why is she denying this. “Mom stop it” I whispered. “Stop what sweety” She asked with a fake smile on her face. “He’s dead mommy and Gerard ain’t coming back so why can’t you just understand it” I cried. She put down the dish she was washing. “He was my first baby and...now...... he’s gone” She whispered, I pulled her into a hug as she cried.
We stood in the kitchen crying even more tears for Gerard, He would never know how many tears people have and will shed for him. Tears will never stop for him. "Mom..why did he do this" Even though I knew the answer I was looking for a better one."I don't know" She whispered back."I..I....do..." I looked down. "What?" My mom looked at me waiting for an answer. “Gee..did drugs...Cocain.."I started in almost a whisper. "and he drank....a lot” I continued. "No..my baby boy..he was sweet and innocent." She cried out. “Not really mama" I stated, “No Mikey..when did he start what else did he do?" She asked frantically. "I...I'm not sure" I answered, "Mikes..why?" She asked again. "I don’t know.." I whispered and shook my head. No one could ever get into the vast and scary mind of Gerard Way, only take a guess.
I heard the TV turn on then Frank say "Ohh I can't fucking believe this". We walked into the living room Frank was watching MTV "Kurt Louder from MTV News....Just last night up and coming band My Chemical Romance, lead singer Gerard Way died. Gerard Way was severely depressed at the time and was on multiple anti depressants younger brother and Bass player of the band discovered Gerard Way last night around 11 pm. Its sad to see another soul full of potential fall from a suicidal overdose. That's it for todays MTV news more on this story go to MTV.com” The news report explained with fake sympathy. “What the fuck!?" Frank shouted which woke Ray up. "What Frankie?" I asked. "He just died last night and it's already all over the fucking press" He exclaimed and threw his hands in the air.
"Damn it, one of those photographers must have been a fan or their offspring..evil little devils" Ray cursed. "Why..why do people do this?" I choked out. "Why do people go around and exploit other people’s lives?" I added. "They are rats they only want the biggest story for their own good" my mom spat. "Mom...why?' I turned to her. That is what I’ve been questioning a lot lately....Why? "Baby I don't have all the answerers” She replied. "Who does? Not even God at this point has them for me! All HE has been doing is taking everything from me..My brother, My band, My personal life, My dignity. Yesterday I was fucking crying over a dead body! Matt was right..EVERYONE DIES! All I am is a fucking cry baby and a worthless piece of shit!" I shouted. "You're morning baby its understandable" My mom tried to console me. " I AM NOT FUCKING MOURNING ANYMORE!! GERARD IS A PIECE OF SHIT TO ME! HE DIDN’T CARE ABOUT ME OR ANYONE ELSE THAT IS WHY HE TOOK HIS OWN FUCKING LIFE! I WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING.....ALL THAT ANYONE WILL CARE ABOUT IS THE DEAD BODY OF GERARD ARTHUR WAY! HE MEANS NOTHING TO ME ANYMORE..NO ONE DOES!" I shouted, then stormed upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom.
I could hear Ray’s foot steps following me the entire way. “Mikey come out..please..We all love you...don’t be like this..we understand" He whispered. "NO YOU FUCKING DON'T! DID YOU LOSE YOUR BROTHER RAY? NO! Because he's still alive unlike mine” I cried out in rage. "I understand..I know I don’t know exactly what you feel..But I LOST A BEST FRIEND! You know we are all like brothers Mikey. I was close with him to. We all lost someone important and close." Ray said softly. "I miss him why did that fucker have to leave me " I spat in a small voice. "Mikey...." Ray started but he didn’t know what to say. I opened the door a little bit. Ray pushed it open and pulled me into a hug and he squeezed me so tight I feared my ribs would break. "Mikey. I love you. Gee loves you to, please forgive him, please....we all miss him.." Ray sobbed. He was crying the hardest which is something he never does. We sat there crying it seemed to be the only thing I ever did, downstairs Frank and my mom were crying, upstairs ray and me it's an non stop waterfall in this house.
But everyone knew it was for the good of it. Frankie still had that skittle for Gerard. I still had Gee's Smashing Pumpkins' Cd that I never returned. Ray still had Gerard's only guitar pick. And for Matt, He still had the leftover coke that killed Gerard. Parts of Gerard were everywhere, No matter where you turned our fans had our only cd, and the Merch, Gerard’s face was on the tv. This was the so to seem END for him but his memory will carry on FOREVER.
The next morning while I laid in the arms of my friends on the couch, I heard something as if someone was moving around in the house. I got up to see who it was hoping that it would be Gerard trying to make coffee as he always would. I jumped up at that thought....I had almost forgot last night. Even to the point where I yelled out "Morning Gerard" I was so used to saying it, I’ve said it every morning since I could talk. But not to my surprise it wasn’t Gee. It was my mom cleaning. "Mom what are you doing ..how did you get in here” I asked as I adjusted my glasses. "You all don’t know how to lock doors....you need to be more careful. We live in North Jersey you know." My Mother stated. I stared at her in disbelief why is she denying this. “Mom stop it” I whispered. “Stop what sweety” She asked with a fake smile on her face. “He’s dead mommy and Gerard ain’t coming back so why can’t you just understand it” I cried. She put down the dish she was washing. “He was my first baby and...now...... he’s gone” She whispered, I pulled her into a hug as she cried.
We stood in the kitchen crying even more tears for Gerard, He would never know how many tears people have and will shed for him. Tears will never stop for him. "Mom..why did he do this" Even though I knew the answer I was looking for a better one."I don't know" She whispered back."I..I....do..." I looked down. "What?" My mom looked at me waiting for an answer. “Gee..did drugs...Cocain.."I started in almost a whisper. "and he drank....a lot” I continued. "No..my baby boy..he was sweet and innocent." She cried out. “Not really mama" I stated, “No Mikey..when did he start what else did he do?" She asked frantically. "I...I'm not sure" I answered, "Mikes..why?" She asked again. "I don’t know.." I whispered and shook my head. No one could ever get into the vast and scary mind of Gerard Way, only take a guess.
I heard the TV turn on then Frank say "Ohh I can't fucking believe this". We walked into the living room Frank was watching MTV "Kurt Louder from MTV News....Just last night up and coming band My Chemical Romance, lead singer Gerard Way died. Gerard Way was severely depressed at the time and was on multiple anti depressants younger brother and Bass player of the band discovered Gerard Way last night around 11 pm. Its sad to see another soul full of potential fall from a suicidal overdose. That's it for todays MTV news more on this story go to MTV.com” The news report explained with fake sympathy. “What the fuck!?" Frank shouted which woke Ray up. "What Frankie?" I asked. "He just died last night and it's already all over the fucking press" He exclaimed and threw his hands in the air.
"Damn it, one of those photographers must have been a fan or their offspring..evil little devils" Ray cursed. "Why..why do people do this?" I choked out. "Why do people go around and exploit other people’s lives?" I added. "They are rats they only want the biggest story for their own good" my mom spat. "Mom...why?' I turned to her. That is what I’ve been questioning a lot lately....Why? "Baby I don't have all the answerers” She replied. "Who does? Not even God at this point has them for me! All HE has been doing is taking everything from me..My brother, My band, My personal life, My dignity. Yesterday I was fucking crying over a dead body! Matt was right..EVERYONE DIES! All I am is a fucking cry baby and a worthless piece of shit!" I shouted. "You're morning baby its understandable" My mom tried to console me. " I AM NOT FUCKING MOURNING ANYMORE!! GERARD IS A PIECE OF SHIT TO ME! HE DIDN’T CARE ABOUT ME OR ANYONE ELSE THAT IS WHY HE TOOK HIS OWN FUCKING LIFE! I WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING.....ALL THAT ANYONE WILL CARE ABOUT IS THE DEAD BODY OF GERARD ARTHUR WAY! HE MEANS NOTHING TO ME ANYMORE..NO ONE DOES!" I shouted, then stormed upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom.
I could hear Ray’s foot steps following me the entire way. “Mikey come out..please..We all love you...don’t be like this..we understand" He whispered. "NO YOU FUCKING DON'T! DID YOU LOSE YOUR BROTHER RAY? NO! Because he's still alive unlike mine” I cried out in rage. "I understand..I know I don’t know exactly what you feel..But I LOST A BEST FRIEND! You know we are all like brothers Mikey. I was close with him to. We all lost someone important and close." Ray said softly. "I miss him why did that fucker have to leave me " I spat in a small voice. "Mikey...." Ray started but he didn’t know what to say. I opened the door a little bit. Ray pushed it open and pulled me into a hug and he squeezed me so tight I feared my ribs would break. "Mikey. I love you. Gee loves you to, please forgive him, please....we all miss him.." Ray sobbed. He was crying the hardest which is something he never does. We sat there crying it seemed to be the only thing I ever did, downstairs Frank and my mom were crying, upstairs ray and me it's an non stop waterfall in this house.
But everyone knew it was for the good of it. Frankie still had that skittle for Gerard. I still had Gee's Smashing Pumpkins' Cd that I never returned. Ray still had Gerard's only guitar pick. And for Matt, He still had the leftover coke that killed Gerard. Parts of Gerard were everywhere, No matter where you turned our fans had our only cd, and the Merch, Gerard’s face was on the tv. This was the so to seem END for him but his memory will carry on FOREVER.