Apologies on Napkins.

“Can you live one day without smoking?”
“No, these are stressful times.”
“True, but can you buy me cookies.”
“Yes bitch.”
We went straight to the cookie aisle, I stood there tapping my foot watching her look through the cookies and debating which she wanted. I couldn’t help but to roll my eyes and text away aggravated.
“Kylie?”
I closed my eyes in pain and repeating the word fuck over and over again in my head. I looked to the side and saw the beef cake himself.
“Hey Zack.”
“What the fuck are you doing here?!” he yelled running towards me and grabbing me in a huge hug.
“Oh you know I needed cigarettes.”
“So you came all the way to Towson?”
“Well they do have the best tobacco.”
“But really, why are you here?”
“Shit, is this town to small for the both of us?”
“Kind of, but stop being a smart ass.”
“She tends to ramble when she’s nervous”, Brianna said standing next to me.
“Yeah I know. She’s not going to stop with the rambling and the lame jokes so you want to tell me what’s going on?” he asked her.
“My mom’s getting married.”
“Oh shit, nice.”
“Nah, not really.”
“And her new daddy’s taking mama dearest on a honeymoon so we’re here for a month”, she said with a smile.
“Really?! That’s so sick; we’re home for the spring. We just finished recording and we’re at home before we leave for tour again.”
“Good grief.”
“Now and try to control your excitement Kylie”, Brianna said with a laugh.
“You sure haven’t changed. But I’m having a party tonight, just a little get together. You should come.”
“I’ll be right on that!”
“Kylie, please.”
“Nope!”
“Alright, well just think about it and please don’t try and hide from us. It would be nice to see you more than once a year.”
“What can I say, I’m a hermit.”
“Well I see the nerves are still there so that’s my cue to leave, bye Kylie it was nice seeing you”, he said giving me a hug.
“And I didn’t catch your name.”
“I’m Brianna”, she said putting out his hand.
“Zack, it was nice meeting you. Try and drag her out tonight.”
“I will put up a good fight.”
“Thank you, hopefully see you guys tonight.”
And with that he walked away. I was able to let out all the air that was in my lungs, I looked over at Brianna and she just nodded and grabbed the cookies. I ran to the checkout counter to get my cigarettes. Not even before leaving the store I lit one up and inhaled just about the whole cigarette in one draft. I was on the second cigarette before we got to the car.
“Just calm down.”
“SHUTTHEFUCKUP!”
She just laughed and popped a cookie in her mouth and then got in my car. I got in the car and drove back home. Lying in my bed listening to Fireworks bumping from my speakers and the sound of Brianna’s constant cookie crunching.
“Let’s go!”
“Nope.”
“Yes, I need a drink and it could be fun.”
“Don’t make me shove a cookie down your throat and hold your mouth so you can choke to death.”
“I think we should go.”
“Death by cookie, it might start a revolution.”
“Zack’s really fucking cute.”
“The obesity rate in American can go down.”
“Kylie!”
“I swear it’s a disease, I wonder if there’s a pill to take care of my smart ass-ness.”
“You case is unfixable.”
“I know.”
“We’re going tonight.”
“No.”
“You can get fucked up and I’ll drive.”
“Deal.”
I watched Brianna get all cute and I really didn’t care. I got dressed inTHIS. I sat there really nervous; I really didn’t want to go. We were finally ready and went off, god I was going to regret this. I got to the house that I remember oh so well, my stomach in knots watching everyone that I once hung out with on a daily standing right in there. And that boy that I didn’t want anything to do with, he was in there probably rubbed up with some girl, maybe 3. I looked over at Brianna and she just laughed and handed me my cigarettes, I grabbed them and put them in my jacket. I took a deep breath and got out of the car. I looked over at Brianna and she was walking behind me slowly. I walked to the back and slid the creaky door open and walked inside. I turned the corner and saw the beer pong games starting and everyone already dancing around and singing. I wanted to throw up.
“Kylie?”
I turned around and immediately I got pulled into a hug, three girls killing me with their love. I pulled back and saw Kara, Ashley and Megan standing there with the biggest smile and what seems like tears in their eyes.
“What are you doing here?”
“I was just in town.”
Then they grabbed me into another hug, not letting go. I just laughed and hugged them back. I looked over at Brianna, hearing her whistle.
“This is my friend Brianna, Brianna this is Kara, Megan and Ashley.”
I watched them say their hellos. We stood there talking, “catching up” to what they call it. I scanned the room and no sight of Alex, so all is good.
“Everyone’s going to want to see you; no one thought you were going to come.”
“You can thank this one for it.”
“It wasn’t easy.”
“Yeah, she will be expecting gifts for this deed to the party.”
“Of course, come on.”
“LISTEN UP GUYS! WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL GUEST HERE TONIGHT!”
“Kara!” I yelled hiding behind Ashley’s jolly green giant ass.
“You got strippers?!” I heard Jack say.
“Even better, I present Kylie Almanza!”
“Oh god.”
They pushed me to the side and I looked out at all the guys and they just started back at me and then I felt myself getting pick up and tackled by the guys. I looked up at Jack and Rian, I didn’t think this would be that big of a deal.
“Oh hey.”
“We missssssssssssssssssssssed you!” Jack yelled picking me up and spinning me around.
“I missed you too.”
I made my rounds of hugs and small chat. I grabbed my corona and sat there talking with everyone, introducing Brianna to everyone.
“Don’t need to worry, I’m here!”
I looked over and my heart dropped. I looked over at Brianna with the lets go please eyes. Her eyes got bigger and I turned around and my eyes met those brown eyes.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
“Um, hey.”
“Kylie, let’s take a shot!”
Good save Megan the alcoholic. I was posted with the bottle, shot by shot. Alex had that power over me, that power that made me instantly turn to the bottle. Funny that it use to be the complete opposite. Drunk as a skunk I made my way to the front and sat on the curb. I took out my white little happy sticks and lit one up.
“You should really quit.”
“Beat it Gaskarth.”
“I’m just looking out for your health.”
“I bet you are.”
“What’s with this hostility?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about”, I said blowing the smoke into his face.
“Kylie.”
“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.”
“That was lame.”
“I know, but that’s the only smart ass response I had.”
“Work on better ones.”
“One, I am drunk. Two, fuck you.”
“I could say a burn of a joke but I will not.”
“Good, now get away.”
“Kylie.”
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For everything, I’m sorry.”
“Well I don’t forgive you, so fuck off before I curb stomp your dumbass.”
“It was good seeing you.”
“I bet.”
“Bye Kylie.”
And with that he walked away, part of me wanted him to stay. Part of me wanted to get used again, used for sex again. But the other part of me, the smart part, just let him walk away. Hoping that he would walk out of my life completely. But Alex Gaskarth never did what you wanted him to do.