Apologies on Napkins.

Alex’s P.O.V.

“So you and Kylie are just having sex?”
“Pretty much.”
“And you have no problem with it?”
“Fuck no, getting laid getting paid.”
Jack looked at me with his questioning eyes and then just continued to eat his pizza. I looked down at my phone waiting for that call or text, that sign from Kylie so I can get my nut. God, I was a dick.
“You honestly don’t care that this girl that you were in love with, is just some kind of sex toy to you.”
“Not at all”, I said taking a drink.
“When did you turn into a dick?”
“I always had it in me, but Kylie’s the one that suggested it.”
“And that doesn’t bother you at all?”
“Listen Dr. Boner kill, no it doesn’t.”
“I have a feeling this is going to end badly.”
“How could this possibly go wrong?”
Right when I finished my last thought the vibration from my phone sent a smile to my face and excitement in my pants. I looked over at Jack with a big grin; he just laughed and put up his hand. I gave a high five and then went on my way to Kylie’s house. Once I got to the door I was pulled in and we got down to business. For a couple of days, that’s exactly how it was. We’d meet up randomly and get down to it. I had no ounce of guilt and Kylie didn’t either. It’s funny how things end up. Lying in bed with this girl I use to be madly in love with but now it just feels like all we have is sex. My eyes wondered over her room and everything was the same. I looked over at the naked girl next to me. She was so much different from when I left here.
“You know I love you.”
“You obviously don’t.”
“Kylie.”
“What Alex, what the fuck do you have to say now?”
“Please don’t hate me.”
“I could never hate you, no matter how bad you hurt me.”
“Why is that?” I asked looking into her beautiful eyes.
My guts feeling all tied up, I loved this girl more than anything but I couldn’t do this to her. I didn’t want to be that monthly boyfriend. I didn’t want to be just some voice in her phone, phone calls every now and then. She needed more than that, she deserved more than me.
“Because I love you, and I always will.”
“Do you really?”
“Yes, a lot actually.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize; just tell me one thing. Do you love me?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Answer the question.”
“No.”
I watched the tears stream down her face, that beautiful face. It pained me to do this, but I had to make it easier for her. Hate always helped a broken heart, as long as she’d be okay. I can deal with a broken heart, she shouldn’t.
“Have a safe trip.”

I looked over at her and she was just laying there humming softly. I looked up at the ceiling, I love you painted across. Fuck I needed to get out of here. I got up and got dressed and walked out; Kylie didn’t even seem to care. I made a decision that day. My dream or the girl. I hope I made the right choice.