Jizz In My Pants

Jack, Alex, Zack, and Rian all stumbled into Rian’s house to clean up and get ready before their party that night. They were throwing a huge end-of-school bash and were providing the music; everyone was expected to be there. Thinking about the girl he saw earlier that day, Jack was staring into nothingness for about five minutes. Alex noticed this and slapped him in the face. “Yo dipshit! What’s up?”

“Ah! You son of a bitch!” Jack rubbed the side of his face. “Second time I’ve been hit in the face today! What gives with you and your violence?”

“You’ve been spacey all day. What’s on your mind?”

He sighed. “Remember during the fetus fight when that girl skated by?”

Searching his brain for recollection of said girl, a light bulb went off and Alex suddenly remembered. “Oh yeah! Twinkie girl, right? Isn’t she from school?”

“Yeah! I just can’t stop thinking about her…” With a cute smile, Jack bit his lip and looked to the side.

“Ewww stop being gay. This ain’t the notebook.” Jack blushed and put his head down. “We have a show tonight, I’m sure she’ll be there. In the mean time, though, wash off the Red Bull and Twinkies. You look terrible.” With a chuckle, Alex retreated to Rian’s bathroom to take a shower. Once again, Jack as left alone to think about the girl that wouldn’t leave his mind.

***

“Hurry up, you ass! I don’t want to miss anything! This is the last party of the year and your midgetness is going to make us late.” Putting on her fitted Blink 182 shirt and fixing her hair, it only took Anna about five minutes to get ready.

“If you didn’t steal my Twinkies and streaked through Wal-Mart today, maybe I would feel like getting ready earlier!” Laura laughed and came into Anna’s room with her make-up bag and started to apply it.

“What the fuck does my streaking have to do with your getting ready time? I may streak when I so choose!”

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to steal my Twinkies. You know that pisses me off. And when I’m in a pissy mood, I take my time to get ready for stuff. Comprehendo?”

“Ugh, comprehendo…” Looking at herself in the mirror one more time, Anna grabbed her keys and decided to wait for Laura in the car.

***

A few hours later, the party at Rian’s house was in full swing. Everyone that wanted to drink copious amounts of alcohol were upstairs doing just that. Everyone else was in Rian’s basement, jamming to the musical stylings of All Time Low. Anna and Laura were right in the middle of the crowd that had formed. Jack would search the crowd from time to time to see if Anna had shown up, but he never laid eyes on her.

“Stay seventeen! The party scene has got the best of me and you have got to let this go!” Alex poured his soul into the song, making the atmosphere in the small room electric. Some people even started to crowd surf. Given the size of the room, this probably wasn’t a good idea, but that didn’t stop anyone.

Anna decided to join the trend and got the person behind her to lift her up. When she dove into the crowd, somebody managed to steal her pants. “Hey! You bitch, give me my pants!” But it was too late. While she was calling back to the person that stole her pants, the people lifting her threw her towards the stage and subsequently, right into Jack. He fall backwards and hit his head on the amp, rendering him unconscious. Everything became unplugged and a loud screech filled the room, causing everyone to hold their ears.

Alex stormed over to Anna, pissed at first, but then concerned once he saw that Jack was out cold. “Mother fucker. Uhm, we need a cold compress.”

“No problem, hold on.” Anna immediately took off her shirt and ran over to one of the coolers in which the beer was stored. Dipping her shirt in the ice and water, she observed Rian near the back of the room. He was surrounded by chanksters urging him to chug out of a funnel. They were all holding marshmallow guns and pointing them at his head. Too drunk to realize that he was in no danger, Rian drank for his life. She laughed and rang out her shirt, running back to Alex and Jack.

“Here you go. Put this on his forehead.” Alex looked at the shirt in his hands, then to Anna’s almost naked body. She was wearing a lacy pink bra and matching panties. Her attire was distracting to say the least. Rolling her eyes, she grabbed the shirt from his hands. “Dumb ass.”

Anna bent down over Jack and held the wet shirt to his head. Slowly, Jack’s eyes fluttered open. The first thing that he saw was Anna’s chest. “I think I just died and went to heaven.” Then he looked to see the face attached to the chest. “Oh, hello there! I saw you in Wal-Mart today!”

“You okay? Sorry, I crashed into you when some asshole stole my pants while I was crowd surfing. I kind of ruined your show…” She blushed slightly and bit her lip.

Jack just giggled and placed his hand on her cheek. “You didn’t ruin anything. Come on, let me get you some clothes.” Anna helped Jack up from the ground. He took her hand in his and they made their way through the thinning crowd to Rian’s room upstairs.

Alex and Zack just stood there, guitars still hanging from their necks. “Well, that was great. Jack’s off to bang a random chick, Rian is being held hostage by chanksters, and we’re left here to look like idiots. Great.” Shaking his head, Alex took a seat on the floor. Everyone was leaving the basement to go get some more beer.

Just then, Laura came bounding up to the stage. She went right over to Zack. “Hey, have you seen my friend Anna? I found her pants.”

Zack looked up and smiled. “Uhm, she went off with Jack. But hey, I’m Zack! Nice to meet you.”

“That little skank… I’m Laura, by the way. Hey, is that a… Lance Bass sticker on your bass?” Laura giggled and pointed to the not-so-discreet sticker on Zack’s bass.

His face dropped as he stood up. “I’m not gay!” Then he ran away to a destination unknown.

“Wait! Zack!” Laura followed him as he left, wanting to strike up a conversation with the handsome looking man. Alex was left in the basement alone. So, he decided that he would release Rian from his chankster captivity and have some fun.