Carry Me

Levia smiled lovingly into the crib and softly ran her hand across the head of the baby inside before bending down into the crib and kissing its head. It stuck its hand up and Levia grabbed it, moving it gently back and forth before putting its arm down and taking a couple steps away. She stopped and turned around, blowing a kiss at the crib, but didn’t make a move. She just stood and watched the baby sleep, its chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm.

Arms wrapped around Levia’s waist and she rested her head on the shoulder of the man behind her.

“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” she whispered.

The man nodded, and Levia could imagine his smirk, “He is ours, you know. There’s no way any child of ours could be anything but beautiful.”

Levia allowed him to gently rock her back and forth, loving the way she fit perfectly in his arms. She always had.

“Ours,” she said quietly, not believing the words she just spoke.

“Ours,” the man whispered back, kissing her on the temple.

She turned around to face him, “I love you, J-”

“-feel irrational, so confrontational, to tell the truth I am getting away with murder-”

Levia groaned and blindly grabbed around for her phone. She wanted that sound to go away, despite the fact that it was Papa Roach.

On second thought, maybe she’d let it ring a little longer…

“Hello?” she answered groggily.

“Levee!”

“Jacoby?” Levia questioned, confused.

“The one and only, gorgeous.”

“Why are you calling me? It’s-” she paused to look at her clock, “3:36 AM.”

Jacoby sounded a bit disappointed and put off, “Nice to speak to you too.”

Levia sighed, “I’m sorry. It’s just…I’ve had a lot on my mind lately and I was out drinking with Brian and Jimmy all night-”

“Something wro-ow shit! Fucking table! I knew I shouldn’t have put that there!”

Levia giggled. He sounded kind of…tipsy. Like Levia had been hours ago.

“Have you been drinking?”

“Well, uh…yeah. But just a lil, teeny weensy, itty bitty bit!”

Levia knew that he had been drinking much more than he was letting on, but her head was still too clouded to dwell on it for too long.

“What about you? Did I wake you up-motherfucker! Tony move this motherfucking chair right now! Shit!”

Levia laughed, finding his problems severely funny, for some reason, “Yeah you did. I was having a really good dream too!”

“Oh? What was is about?

Levia racked her brain, trying to remember.

“Well, there was a baby, and a hot guy holding me, but I didn’t know who he was. I was just about to tell him I loved him, but my phone woke me up. His name started with a J though,” Levia confided, not really thinking about her words before she said them.

“J, huh? Was it Jerry?”

Levia shook her head, though Jacoby couldn’t see it, “No, no. It was more of a…’juh’ sound.”

“Juh….juh…juhcobee?” he questioned.

“I don’t think I know a guy named Juhcobee,” Levia said, confused.

That is, until it clicked in her slowly sobering brain.

She was just dreaming about Jacoby.

Not her boyfriend, Zacky, but Jacoby.

Oh shit.

“I don’t either-what the motherfucking son of a bitch shit is that? Fuck! My fucking toe! Fuck me running with a fork! Jerry, you ass, stop laughing!”

Levia rolled over, her abdomen contorting as she laughed. This guy always made her laugh.

“Sorry. I, uh, there’s stuff and I can’t see and everything is spinning…”

Levia stopped laughing, now concerned, “Maybe you should go lay down.”

“No! I wanted to talk to you?”

“About what?”

There was silence on the other line for a few moments and Levia heard a loud thump and glass shattering, then laughing in the background.

“Are you okay?” she asked, sitting up now, her covers still around her.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just jumped off a chair and tried to break a table. It didn’t though so Tobin got pissed and threw a glass vase at the wall. It’s cool.”

“That’s not cool! You guys could’ve really hurt yourselves!” Levia shrieked.

Speaking of thumping noises, she heard suspicious ones coming from down the hall again. Those two must really be loud if she could hear them all the way down here…

“We’re fine. Don’t get your panties in a twist.

“So why did you call me again?” Levia asked, still not receiving an answer.

“Why did I…oh yeah! No reason. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“At three in the morning? While you’re drunk?” Levi asked skeptically. As flattered as she was, she was still a little confused.

“Why not? I’m not thinking straight, so I thought now would be the perfect time!”

Levia bit her lip, “That makes two of us not thinking straight.”

“Yeah! Go us for getting drunk!” Jacoby cheered. Levia didn’t find it as amusing.

“I thought you didn’t drink?” she said, vaguely remembering something about him saying that.

“I don’t remember…I don’t think I do…”

“Then why are you?”

Jacoby was silent again, and for a moment Levia wondered if he jumped off another chair.

“Jacoby?”

“Listen…I…have to go. But it was great talking to you.

Levia was a little hurt by his sudden wanting to get off the phone, but she probably shouldn’t be talking to him anyway.

“Okay. Bye, Coby.”

“Bye, gorgeous.

Levia bit her lip and sat down her phone before laying down and trying to get comfortable again. All she could think about was Jacoby wanting to hear her voice. She knew the guys had left on tour and must be on their bus, getting trashed and acting like fools.

She was kind of worried.

Her thoughts flickered to Zacky and she felt kind of guilty for thinking about Jacoby so much. Shouldn’t she be thinking about her boyfriend instead?

Levia let her thoughts wander between Zacky and Jacoby until she fell into another sleep to the thumping rhythm coming from down the hall.

He smiled down at her, “I love you too, gorgeous.”

Levia grinned and pressed her lips to his passionately. He kissed back forcefully, but not in a sexual way. It was so much more than just that; it was loving, caring, genuine, tender. It was as if he wanted her so bad, but he was afraid he would break her if he tried too hard.

He gently backed her up against a wall, their lips never separating. She wrapped her legs around him and began grinding her hips into his, causing him to chuckle and move his lips to her ear.

“You’re a little dirty girl, aren’t you?”

Levia could only nod and push her hips more into his, causing him to groan against her neck, which he had currently been biting on.

“Keep doing that and there will be more where he came from,” he said huskily, gesturing to the crib on the other side of the room.

He ran a hand down her thigh, moving it back up and under her skirt at a painfully slow pace. She felt him smirk against her neck as his hand slipped inside her underwear.

“Jacoby,” Levia moaned, her fingers tangled in his short, spiky hair.

“Lev?”

“That’s right, gorgeous. Say my name.”

“Levia!”

“Jacoby!” she moaned, louder this time.

“Levia wake up!”

Levia jerked awake, flailing around helplessly as she got tangled in her sheets and fell off her bed. She sighed and hung her head.

“Problems?”

Levia looked up to glare at Brian, “Why are you here?”

He was doubled over in laughter, trying to catch his breath, “I came to just chill out, but Matt and Addi appear to be recovering from a night of wild sex, so I came up to pester you.”

Levia grunted in annoyance and tried to get herself untangled, which didn’t work very well.

“Sleep well?” Brian asked, a knowing smirk on his face.

“Fuck off,” Levia said harshly.

She was angry at herself for dreaming about stuff like that, though she knew she couldn’t control it. She wondered why she had never had a dream like that about Zacky. Since she had actually met him, anyway…

Brian held his hands up in surrender, “Sorry, sorry. I thought he was actually here for a moment the way you were moaning his name out there. You and Addi really are sisters…”

Levia held her face in her hands, completely embarrassed.

Brian laughed, “Don’t fret about it, Lev. You know I could care less who or what you dream about.”

“I’m such a terrible person,” Levia mumbled from underneath her hands.

“No you’re not,” Brian assured, “it was just a dream, right? It’s not like you really want it to happen.”

Levia said nothing, but continued to hang her head low as she lay tangled in the blankets.

Brian sighed, “You do want it to happen, don’t you.”

“With either of them would be fine with me!” Levia blurted.

Brian tried not to laugh, “Thanks for letting me know.”

Levia groaned and tossed a stray pillow at him with her one free arm before falling back on the floor, “You’re impossible!”

Brian dodged the pillow and laughed, “But you love me.”

Levia rolled her eyes, smiling, “You know it, Bri.”

He approached her to help her get out of her covers, but not before he got to have a little more fun with her first.

“So by either of them did you mean at separate times or at the same time ‘cause I didn’t know you liked it that way-”

“Brian!” Levia squealed, swatting at him with her free arm. He laughed and ducked away, but couldn’t avoid being smacked once on the nose.

“Ah! My beautiful nose!” he wailed, clutching his nose.

Levia just laughed, completely forgetting about her troubles with Zacky and Jacoby. Even if it was just a moment of relief, it was better than nothing.

That’s just what friends are for.

-------------------------------------------------------------

“Lev! You’ll never guess what I just found out!”

Levia turned to her sister, “What?”

“Mom and the family are coming in three days!” Addison said cheerfully.

Levia didn’t look nearly as enthused, not having as good of a relationship with their mother as Addison did.

“That’s…good,” Levia said dully.

Zacky looked over at her, curious, “You’re not excited?”

Levia shrugged, going back to reading her magazine while she rested on Zacky’s shoulder, “Not really.”

Addison sighed, “I thought you’d be over it by now.”

“I will never get over what that man she calls a husband did,” Levia said coldly.

Zacky fidgeted, not sure of how to act. He’d never seen Levia like this before. Of course, he remembered Matt talking about Addison’s family problems and how her sister wasn’t always the most civil around all of them, but Matt never really went in depth about it.

“I don’t know why you have to be that way,” Addison said, looking a little upset.

“Let it go, Ads. It’s fine,” Matt assured.

An awkward silence filled the room as Levia continued to read her magazine and Matt and Addison watched whatever was on the television. Zacky sat, just thinking.

“So when are dad and his family coming?” Levia asked casually, flipping another page of her Revolver.

Addison sighed, “Three days.”

Levia turned her head sharply, whipping Zacky in the face with her hair. She quickly apologized, to which he replied he didn’t mind, before she turned her attention back to her sister.

“Oh, so you say mom is coming but you conveniently leave out that dad is coming on the same day?”

“Yeah…”

Levia shook her head in disbelief at her sister, “And inviting them on the same day was a good idea because?”

Addison narrowed her eyes at Levia, “This is not your wedding, okay? I’ll do what I want!”

Matt and Zacky shared a look, not wanting to get involved in the fight, nor did they know what to do in this situation.

Levia was surprised at the tone of Addison’s voice. The two had only spoken to each other this way a handful of times, and every time it involved their family.

Addison’s eyes began tearing up, “I’m so sorry, Lev! I didn’t mean to explode at you like that!”

Levia tilted her head to the side at her sister’s sudden change in mood, “It’s fine, Addi.”

Addison and Levia, though, both knew the truth.

It wouldn’t be fine.