My Heart Is Yours

Alex’s pov

I’ve known Wednesday for four years now.

She and I were in class together during college, back when I still went, over three years ago. We hit it off pretty well, I must say. She had a daughter that was only a year and a half old at the time. I admired her for her strength. Being a single mom at just barely 19 years old and going to college while living on her own. Yeah, Wednesday definitely had balls. I would hate to be on the wrong side of a bad day with her.

Six months later, I’d finally gotten the courage to ask her out. She denied me at first, saying that she couldn’t handle a relationship at that time. So I waited.

After I finished my freshman year of college, I decided that it simply wasn’t for me. So I dropped out and, again, I asked Wednesday out. Again, she denied me. I offered to take care of her two-year-old daughter while she was in school or working. She gave after I swore that it wasn’t a problem she couldn’t pay me. Shit, I damned near had to beg on my knees for her to accept my offer of babysitting.

Her daughter and I are pretty close now, because of that…

In the mornings of that next semester, I would come over before she left for school and then spend half the day with her daughter, Lily. When Wednesday came home, I’d go to work and she would take Lily with her to her work at the local library down the street from her home.

It didn’t take long for her to offer me a place to stay on her couch. It was just more convenient for us and certainly easier financially on all of us. I slept on the couch and had all my stuff stuffed into a couple closets here and there, but it wasn’t like I really cared at all. Between the two of us, we managed to pay the rent of the two-bedroom apartment easily.

It was on Lily’s fourth birthday that I asked Wednesday to be my girlfriend yet again. That time, she agreed. But not until after she and I argued that five years was long enough for her to be single and relatively unhappy with her life.

Our relationship started off extremely slow. But I was patient. We’ve been dating for the past year now and she seems like she’s happy.

Our daily schedule is now mainly spent with my working all day. Lily started school this year, so Wednesday takes her there in the mornings before going to school herself. She comes home around noon to have lunch with me before going to work herself. I go back to work after she leaves. At three, I pick Lily up from school and bring her home and baby-sit until six when Wednesday comes home again. We’ll have dinner together and Wednesday typically spends all free time home with her daughter. I think she feels bad that she can’t stay home with Lily like she wants. But she’s only got another semester left before she graduates.

She still works at the library down the street, so that was nice. The job suited her, honestly. She didn’t have to talk to many people and that was something that she really didn’t like doing. Even around me and her daughter she was relatively silent.

On thing that I’ve learned from the four years that I’ve known her, are the things that she will absolutely kill to keep out of conversations. With anyone.

The first of which being Lily’s father. There is not one word that anyone knows about the man other than that his last name has to be “Green.” And the only reason we know that is because Lily’s last name is Green, not Lee like her mother’s. We’ve made the assumption that that’s her father’s last name as well. Why that decision was made, I have no idea. But I don’t think it was a very good one for the poor mother’s psyche. Because not a word with Wednesday speak. Ever. No matter what. Anytime He comes into conversation, she changes the subject. And quickly. But not before her eyes go glassy and sad, like she’s about to cry. She does cry a lot at night and I’m almost positive that it’s because of Him. Shit, screw “almost.” I was positive that all her tears were because of him.

Another thing that she refuses to talk about or have anything to do with is the prospect of having a nickname. Unlike every other normal human being, Wednesday refuses to go by anything but that. Trust me, I’ve tried giving her nicknames, but she’d only glare at me or ignore me completely. She wouldn’t even accept those cutesy little relationship pet names that most girls almost died over.

Alright. So my girlfriend of a year had a lot of problems. But I was patient with her and persistent. Her problems didn’t stop the fact that I cared about her more than anyone else in the world. I wanted to help her, to have her fully accept my love. Which was why I was so persistent all the damn time. She’s only accepted the fact that I love her a little bit. Sad, but I know it’s true. I am really glad, though, that she doesn’t fill my head with the false hopes of loving me when she can’t bring herself to do that. It’s kind of reassuring, in a sad and depressing way.

Okay, so that was a total and complete lie. It was, most definitely, not the most reassuring thing on the planet.

“Hey, Alex?” her quiet voice brought me out of my thoughts as I looked up from the list of songs to play that night at my band’s gig.

Oh, that’s another thing. I’m in a band, Mayday Parade. I play the guitar and I’m not quite sure how Wednesday feels about the whole thing. She accepts it and supports me, that much I know. But I don’t know how she really feels about the whole thing of my being in a band…I doubt I’ll ever know…

“Yeah, Wednesday?”

“What time are you going to be home?” she asked, her pretty light green eyes full of concern as she stood in front of me. I smiled and stood, moving to hug her tightly.

“I’ll be back around ten, I promise, okay? It won’t take very long and they guys wanted to go out and get a couple drinks afterwards. I’ll call you if you want after the show’s over…” She nodded at that hugged me back briefly before pulling away again. There was still the concern in her eyes and I wondered what was going through her head at that moment…

“Mama! Lookie!” The little brunette five year old came running into the living room holding a piece of paper with a drawing of a house and a selection of stick figures on it. Wednesday’s face immediately lit up when her daughter came running in. It always did. But behind that joy and love that she held for Lily, I could always see a hint of pain in those eyes of hers…

“What, baby?” I loved the way that Wednesday’s face softened every time that little girl of hers was around or mentioned. Lily handed her the piece of paper and Wednesday continued to gush over it before standing and dragging her daughter to the fridge to hang up the picture among the collage of them that had been hung already. Wednesday was definitely the type of mom who would keep every little thing that their child did throughout their life, no matter how shitty it was. It was cute.

“I gotta get going, Wednesday. I’ll call you, okay?” I told her as I gathered my coat, my guitar, and the set list. She turned to me with a small smile on her face.

“Okay, Alex. Talk to you later.”

“Bye Alex!” Lily called, grinning as she walked around the island counter that separated the kitchen from the living room.

“Bye, Miss Lily.” With that, I gave the little girl a wave before walking out of the apartment.