Too Blind to See It!

I am not sure when it happened, at what point I fell in love with her. It wasn't something I planned or sought out. I had a girlfriend. Admittedly that was not going well, but still I had hopes, Ok maybe not hopes, plans of working things out with Allison. I wanted to make my relationship work. From the beginning I was drawn to Jenna though; she was just fun. We'd hang out and laugh. She loved hockey, more specifically, the Devils, yet she treated me like I was just another guy, not Zach Parise, the hot shot left winger for the club. We became fast friends. I tried really hard not to notice how beautiful she was, naturally beautiful, or how long her legs were, which wasn't always easy when I'd bring lunch over and catch her studying in a tank top and short shorts. Girlfriend or not, I'm a man, I noticed. Still, falling in love with her wasn't about her looks, it went way beyond that. Everything that was wrong about my relationship with Allison, was right in my friendship with Jenna. I couldn't help being drawn to her. Right or wrong, I'm pretty sure I was still with Allison when I fell in love with Jenna; though I can't pinpoint the exact second it happened. I just know at some point I wanted to be with Jenna more than Allison, at some point I cared what Jenna thought, more than Allison, at some point I couldn't stop thinking about Jenna, and being with Allison started to seem wrong. At some point I fell head over heels irrevocably in love with Jenna.
 
I hid it for a long time, or tried to. I wanted to be a good guy. I wanted to do the right thing. I didn't need another mess up, that's how I got in this situation with Allison in the first place. Truthfully, I had way too much respect for Jenna to act on my feelings for her while Allison was in my life. I tried to hide how much I wanted Jenna, while stealing every moment I could with her. I'd sit across from her table at lunch and imagine what it would be like to kiss her. I'd sit next to her on the couch and have to remind myself over and over again not to reach out and touch her. All because I had a girlfriend, an unfaithful girlfriend that couldn't have been further from what I wanted or needed in my life.
 
Finding out that Jenna was a virgin, now that was a defining moment for me. She blurted it out and I couldn't believe my ears. How was it possible? Jenna was a virgin (Did I already say that?). She was beautiful and fun and smart and she'd never given herself to anyone ever. It made her perfection in my eyes and fighting my feelings for her and my aching libido became nearly impossible. I'm not going to lie, I'm a man and my first thoughts were purely evil, my body moving over hers, how good she would feel, how good I could make her feel. It's not as though I never thought about having sex with her before that information came to light, I had more often than I would have admitted, but Jenna, my Jenna, was a virgin. She even dated Marc Staal for months and came out unscathed. So when I finally manned up and told her I wanted more than friendship, and she wanted the same thing,  I was faced with a huge dilemma. How was I supposed to control myself around her? How could I respect her values when I found her incredibly sexy, irresistible really.
 
All of a sudden, beautiful, sexy, coy Jenna, with the legs that went on for days, the woman I'd wanted for over a year was mine and it scared me to death. I was afraid that if I let myself go for even a second that I'd push her, that I'd scare her by taking things too far. So for over two months I'd stuck to my plan of getting while the getting was good. As soon as I felt the twitch between my legs, as soon as my hands started to wander too much, as soon as I started getting lost in our kisses, I'd make a break. I'd come up with one excuse after another why I needed to leave. I never said it, but I needed to leave so I could take a cold shower. I needed to leave to take care of things so I didn't push the boundaries. Whatever it took. I wasn't a saint. Trust me, in my mind I was quite the opposite. My desire for her was overwhelming and I'd wake up time and time again with soiled sheets. She was worth waiting for. I loved her, I was head over heels in love with Jenna, and she was worth it. Part of being in love with her was being attracted to her, crazy attracted to her. Walking away was never easy.
 
Standing in her living room that night after our game, she kissed me like she wanted me, like she was ready for more, maybe not full out wild mind blowing sex, but more than the high school make-out sessions we'd been partaking in. "You know there are other things we can do besides sex." I thought I hit the fucking lottery when I heard her say it, and I couldn't help myself; I laughed out loud recalling her best friend saying exactly those words just hours before. Still my brain kept telling me to be careful. Go slow. Don't fuck this up. My breathing was labored and my heart was racing as her hands wandered my chest. At that point my body took over and I couldn't stop it. I didn't stop Jenna's hand as it wondered from my chest downward and cupped me, hard as a rock. "So you do want me!" she said and smirked up at me bashfully.
 
"Oh God Jenna. You have no idea." She gave my cock a squeeze catching me off guard and making my breath hitch in my throat, eliciting an almost hiccup noise. Jenna backed away from me, and my body felt immediately colder. I flushed in disappointment figuring she realized how dangerous it was to play this game. No cold shower was going to be enough to take care of my problem tonight. My disappointed eyes lifted just in time to see her pull her jersey over her head revealing a red lace bra and the top of her breasts. My eyes went wide in surprise as I feasted on the newly exposed skin. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. The only solution I could come up with, the only thing that was going to keep me from losing it all together was letting her take control. She gently took my hand in hers and led me to her bedroom. Part of me wanted to run just to ensure things didn't get carried away, but there was no way my body was going to let that happen. My body would have followed her wherever she was going at that moment.
 
Inside her room I let her have complete control. Waiting, just waiting to see if she'd pull back or change her mind, and praying she wouldn't. I had no idea where this was going to lead, how far we'd go, or what in god's name she was starting, but whatever it was that she wanted, I was along for the ride. If she was going there, I was going with her. She reached for the hem of my shirt and lifted it over my head, then wrapped her arms around my neck. Her bra covered breasts touched my chest, and I thought my bulge was going break out of my pants. Jenna started kissing me again and I had to fight with my hands to stay put on her hips and not travel upward, not yet. Where did this Jenna come from? Her kisses were making me sweat, and I was completely losing control. She pulled away from my neck and looked up into my eyes. Was this it, I wondered. Was that going to be the moment where she'd say we needed to stop. Her skin against me was making me insane. "Zach," she said looking at me with sweet eyes. Fuck, this is it. I closed my eyes tightly then looked down at her ready to be mature and stop because she was going to ask. "I want to make you happy. I want you to show me how to make you happy." Her words were melodic and soft, and I wasn't sure I heard her right. "Jenna. I…" She looked worried at my tone, the tone I was about to use to turn her down, to tell her we were moving too fast. The tone I was going to use to respect her values. "Zach I want to do this." Her hands went back to my newly bare chest. "I want to make you happy. Please don't turn me down." They slowly, seductively wandered down to the buckle of my belt. The way her finger tips grazed against the top of my jeans, just below my bellybutton made me shiver. I didn't stop her, instead I savored every single second of her removing my belt, unbuttoning and unzipping jeans. "Show me Zach. Show me what you like."
 
My sweet innocent Jenna had turned into a seductive erotic woman. Her eyes sparkled at me, and her lips went to my chest, causing me to shutter. I wrapped my arms around her, not trying to disguise my goal, letting my fingers linger for a moment at the clasp of her bra, I slowly unfastened each hook savoring the moment, the feeling of the moment when I'd first see her exposed, and then savoringly removed the red lace from her body. I'd literally dreamed of that moment, but reality was so much better. She looked nervous for the first time that night, as if waiting for approval. "Your beautiful, so damn beautiful," I said as I reached for her and touched her breasts for the first time with my large calloused hands, maybe more greedily than I should have.
 
After making our way to the bed, removing my pants, but not hers (my little safeguard to not take it too far) Jenna went to work. It wasn't a tough job getting me to cum, I was ready standing back by her front door. Feeling her determined fingers pass the waist band of my boxer's and then find my shaft was another one of those moments for the record books. My underwear, already damp from the pre-cum hit the floor and her strokes that started slow quickened with her own excitement as I cupped and fondled her breasts, but it wasn't enough, I wanted to taste them, lick them, suck them, and I didn't want to stop there. I wanted to pleasure every part of her body. I wanted to taste her, indulge her with my mouth, make her feel how good is would be to explode on my face. All in due time Zach, I reminded myself, continuing even in this heated moment to hold myself back. I had her lean over me and grasped her bare sides, holding her in place while I used my mouth and tongue to lavish her nipples with affection, trying not to hurt her, and worrying I was being too rough, but not physically able to stop. Her moans told me how much she was enjoying it though, maybe as much as I enjoyed what was going on down south. She asked for instruction, but it wasn't necessary, her nervous strokes and touches were more erotic than strokes from the most experienced woman. Words of encouragement slipped past my lips, dirty things that I just couldn't seem to control, and then I felt the tightening in my stomach, and I knew what was coming. Instinct over took me as I replaced Jenna's hand with my own and shot sticky white goo upward on her belly and breasts and on my chest. I couldn't breathe and I was covered in semen, but I pulled Jenna in tight to me letting her bare chest hit mine. "Oh my God Jenna. That was… that was…" I was still gasping for air. It was the best fucking hand job I'd ever had, but I couldn't say that exactly. "Perfect. It was perfect…" It was perfect, amazing, delicious, perfect.
 
"Are you Ok?" I asked coming to my senses, but still trying to get my breath. I'm not going to lie, I was scared to death that I'd taken things too far, that I was too dirty, that she somehow felt she had to do what she just did to make me happy. She let out a small giggle. "I'm good, better than good." She wore the most amazing smile, there was no sign of regret or remorse, like she had been completely ready for our new phase of intimacy, and from the things she said, she had been ready for awhile. When did I get so bad at reading women? 
 
I wanted to return the favor, to discover how wet she was beneath those jeans, to see if she had been enjoying this anywhere near as much as I had. I reached down between her legs and pressed lightly on her through the rough material, watching her expression to see if I was pushing my luck. Jenna's eyes glazed over and she bit her lip. It was one of the sexiest things I'd ever seen, that look on her face. I pressed a little harder testing the waters a little further and watched her eyes roll back in her head and close. I wondered if anyone had ever done this before, not touched her through her jeans but explored her woman hood, made her feel so good that she completely lost control. I started kissing her neck as I continued to rub her in soft strokes, but mixing in a rough one from time to time. I was getting myself worked up again thinking about getting into those jeans and feeling her start to press back against my hand, encouraging my movements. I was getting ready to remove her pants, to take care of the obvious ache she felt when, her cell phone started ringing.
 
Her eyes snapped open bringing her out of the lusty haze she'd been in. Why now? Why not in half an hour. Fuck at the way she was responding maybe it would have only taken ten minutes. Why now?  "Um, Zach," she said and I removed my hand from between her legs. "Do you want to get that?" I asked hoping that was her reason for the hesitation in her voice. "No…Yes…I just…maybe we should stop."
 
****Jenna's POV
 
I had the strangest sense of satisfaction as Zach moaned my name and came all over my chest and his own. It was truly one of the most erotic moments I'd ever experienced, not that I'd had very many. While we'd been sharing intimate moments since the day we met, it was our first sexually intimate moment, and knowing that I was capable of pleasuring him like that made me feel a bit relieved, and strangely proud. I'd worried if he'd find me attractive, when we got to that moment, when my clothes came off, I wondered if he'd find my breasts too big or too small or if he'd compare me to Allison who had used Zach's money to perfect herself. He loved me, he told me he did, and to me Zach had always just been Zach, the incredibly adorable, sweet man that I was crazy about, but I couldn't completely ignore the fact that he was Zach Parise, the insanely attractive, hot shot hockey player. It made me nervous, so when he looked at me with lust filled eyes and told me I was beautiful, and they weren't just words said out of lust. I could see it in his eyes, and I could feel it in the way he touched me. He loved me, and being with him like this was exactly what I wanted. I wanted him.
 
The best way to remain a virgin is to keep your clothes on. I knew that, and it had always been my cardinal rule, a rule I'd always followed. Only two men were able to completely remove my shirt and bra, though I've experienced my share of roaming hands. “Keep your clothes on” always echoed in my head during those moments, and I was always able to stop things before they got out of control. It was different with Zach, so different. The way he was touching me, I wanted my jeans off. I wanted to feel Zach touch me, all of me. I was giving in and ready to go wherever Zach wanted to take me. Just when I was about to beg him to put me out of my misery, my cell phone rang.
 
It startled me out of my Zach induced trance. As much as my body screamed at me to keep going, I couldn’t help but take it as a sign, a sign to slow it down, a sign I was getting carried away. “Um, Zach,” I said meekly. He must have know what was coming, because he removed his hand from between my legs. My body crumpled slightly in disappointment.  “Do you want to get that?” he asked. “No…Yes…I just…” I did not want to get the phone, and I was so conflicted, “maybe we should stop.”  He pulled me in tightly and kissed me on the lips, then the nose and then the forehead. “I hope I didn’t push you. I hope I didn’t make you do anything you…” I cut him off. “No, God no Zach. I mean, I wanted to. I did!”
 
We laid there looking in each other’s eyes, just sharing a moment. The way he looked at me, the smile he couldn’t seem to keep off his face made me understand that what we’d just done was Ok, better than Ok, it was good. “I love you Jenna. I’ve been waiting forever to tell you that, and there were times, I never thought I’d get to say it. You are amazing. What we just did, the way you touched me, it was like, Wow!” I couldn’t help but blush. “I made quite a mess though,” he said and chuckled, as he pulled away and looked between our bodies. “Sorry about that. Let’s see if we can take care of it, OK?” He found his boxers on the floor and pulled me by the hand to the bathroom. He sat me on the counter top and used a wash cloth to clean my chest and stomach, taking particular time with my breasts. He used soft steady strokes to clean my skin completely before using the cloth on himself. He was so tender and sweet with me, not at all like the men I’d been with in the past that would be angered by my apprehension to continue. In the bathroom,0 perched on the counter top, he treated me like a princess, like he wanted me to know how much he respected and loved me, and his soft touches sent the butterflies I loved so much racing around my body. I don’t know when I’d ever been so happy in my entire life.
 
My cell phone rang again for about the fifth time since the initial call that ended our exploration of each other. Zach pulled a tank top over my head, and whispered, “I think you better get that.” I didn’t want to though. I wanted it to be just Zach and I. I didn’t want to hear from the outside world, to let anyone intrude on the magic that still seemed to float through the air. We’d taken another step in our relationship, our closeness sexually had brought us closer together emotionally as well, and the little hesitations Zach used to have with me were gone, completely gone. Now my phone was threatening to snap me out of my fairy tale, to make me lose the moments of bliss we were sharing. “I know,” I replied reluctance in my voice. Jenna always does the right thing though, and I slid off the counter and into my room in search of my phone. I smiled as I noticed the clothes that were still scattered around the room from our little escapade. A giggle escaped my lips thinking for a second thinking how proud Pheebs would be when she discovered I’d taken such a big step, thrown caution to the wind (at least by my standards), let my guard down. As private as our time together was, Phoebe would be able to read it on my face. She’d just know that I’d done something sexual, like she had a sixth sense about sex or something. I reached my phone, that had just stopped ringing and looked at caller ID. Six missed calls all from Phoebe. Just as I was about to call her back, the phone vibrated, and sang in my hand, startling me just a bit. “Hey Pheebs!” I said giggling into the phone, immediately blaming her calls on her sixth sense about sex, and figuring she realized somehow that Zach and I were indisposed.
 
“Jenna, I need your help.” Her words were drawn out and groggy, and I felt an immediate sense of panic fall over me. It’s a call I had never received before, but I’d always worried I’d get. What did she get herself into?