Too Blind to See It!

I laid in Zach's new bed, wrapped in his new sheets and covered by his new duvet, all of which I helped pick out. Our trip to Thomasville was successful, and I managed to help him pick out a manly dark mahogany bed with matching dresser and nightstands that were so much more him then the frilly brass one with porcelain knobs his ex made him sleep on. It had taken two months to arrive, but it was worth the wait. During the two months that we waited for his furniture, he’d taken to having his pre-game naps at my apartment, then he started dragging me to bed so he could hold on to me as he slept. It was a gesture that made me fall for him even more if that was possible. There was no better feeling than being wrapped in his arms, so any protest I made had no basis in reality. Now that the new furniture arrived, we just moved the ritual to his place. Our relationship was growing, we had endearing talks and held hands. He stole sweet kisses from me at every opportunity. We went to dinner followed by long walks, we hung out at his place watching movies, our bodies wrapped in each other on his single large recliner. Zach said he was never getting furniture for his living room, because he liked those moments too much. We did all the things that new couples did, well almost.

His bed was heaven on earth, with the plush duvet and 800 thread count sheets, but it couldn’t compare to the view I had all wrapped up and perched on the pillows. He looked so serious as he tied his tie in the mirror, getting ready to make his way to the Rock for a game against the Hurricanes. His hair stuck up in spikes every which way, just the way I liked it. I could smell light whiffs of his Burberry cologne and his axe soap. He wore a crisp white shirt and a patterned blue tie and, I couldn’t help notice how his charcoal suit pants hugged the curve of his luscious rear end and it made me sigh. I felt like the luckiest woman on earth lying there taking him in and knowing he was all mine.

“You’re up?” he said catching site of me in the mirror.

“Mmhmm.”

He finished tying his tie and made his way to the bed where he gave me one of his breath taking Zach Parise kisses, the kind that make my toes curl. It was the kind of kiss that clogged all senses and made me want to pull him on top of me and demand that he have his way with me. I'd been feeling that way a lot lately. His hand started wandering down my side, but he quickly stepped away leaving my lips aching for more as he slid into his suit jacket.

“You’re beautiful,” I informed him causing him to chuckle and blush ever so slightly.

“No you’re beautiful,” he replied.

I looked down at myself, with a grunt. “Please Zach." I was wearing a tank top and sweats, my hair was a mess from our little pre-game nap thing we had going on. I didn’t have a lick of make-up on, and I was in dire need of a manicure. "Don’t tell me I’m beautiful when I look like this.”

“You ARE beautiful,” he said and made his way back to the bed. He moved some hair from my face and looked down at me. I got lost in his eyes and forgot to argue with him. “You’re coming tonight right?” he asked hopefully.

“Of course. You know I wouldn’t miss it. I hear they have this really sexy winger on the team.”

"Sexy? Am I sexy?" He raised his eyebrows waiting for my response.

"Who said I was talking about you?" I leaned up and tugged on his lip with my teeth and elicited a little moan that I very much enjoyed hearing.

"You better be talking about me, no falling for Travis."

“I’m afraid that my best friend already fell into that trap.”

“I know. I hate how all that went down, and there’s no talking to him. You know how men get when they have bruised egos. Did you get a hold of her though? Is she coming with you to the game tonight?”

“She texted me and said she had something else,” I made air quotes, “ to take care of.”

He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry baby. I know how much you miss her.”

It seemed that the closer Zach and I got, the more distance Phoebe put between her and I. I hadn't seen her in over a week and she wasn't returning my calls except simple texts to let me know she was just busy. I was seriously worried about her, and when I’d stopped in to see her at her shop, Abbey told me she hadn’t been in much. I knew it wasn’t jealousy keeping her away from me, she’d always been a big fan of me and Prince Charming (her words not mine), and her not spending time at the store, meant something was wrong.

“I’ve gotta run. Will I see you tonight after the game?” he asked.

“Give me another one of those kisses, and you’ve got yourself a deal.” He gave me a gorgeous smirk and laid one on me. One that would keep me satisfied at least until I saw him again.

“Oh and Jenna, do you think you can refrain from calling me beautiful in front of the guys?”

“Get out of here.” I yelled to him and tossed a throw pillow toward the door.

I couldn’t help but lie there thinking about Pheebs. What could she have gotten herself into that would keep her from her best friend and the store that was her life? Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good. Her friendship with me and the store were the staples that kept her grounded. My imagination couldn’t even take me to the places and situations she’d been in, in reality so I couldn’t begin to fathom what could distract her from all things important to her.

I was worried about her, sincerely worried but as selfish as it sounds, I really needed her right now. Zach and I had reached an awkward place in our relationship. Sure we did all the things that couples do, and I could never get enough of him, but every time we’d get intimate Zach would pull away. If we were pressed up against my apartment door after a night out, he’d say he had to get up early. If we were making out on my sofa, he’d say he had to go call his agent. There was always an excuse. I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me, that maybe I couldn’t live up to what he had with Allison.

**** Zach’s POV

My palms were sweaty and my nerve endings were ready to pop. I couldn’t believe what I was about to do. It was important to Jenna though, and I wanted so badly to make her happy, and I knew she couldn’t be happy without Phoebe. I figured I’d give it this one try, and if Phoebe wasn’t there I’d say it wasn’t meant to be and forget the whole stupid idea of trying to intervene between the two best friends. I looked from side to side before I opened the door to the small lingerie shop.

I’m a guy, what can I say? I’m a guy; I make no excuses for that or for the fact that my mouth hung open at what I saw when I walked through the door. The walls were covered in red velvet and trimmed in gold, the shag carpet was plush charcoal gray, and there were real candles burning in candelabras strategically placed throughout the store, and crystal chandeliers that provided only a little more light. Yeah, that described the large room, but that’s not what attracted my attention. It was the bustiers and garter belts, the crotchless panties, the fishnet thigh highs, stuff a guy only dreams about and stuff that can make a guy who’s not getting any, completely crazy. Somehow, despite the wares that were being peddled, the shop was classy. A simple emerald green satin push up bra with smattering of small green crystals caught my eye. Truth be told my colorful mind had visions of Jenna wearing it, straddling my hips and kissing my neck while my hands gripped her thighs. I was haunted by these types of visions pretty regularly. We weren’t there yet in our relationship though and I wasn’t sure when we would be, but my imagination worked overtime on many occasions. This just happened to be one of them. I ran my hand over the silky cups and my thumb fondled the gem stones. I couldn’t help wonder how they’d feel pressed against my chest as Jenna ran her tongue over me, the slight irritation would no doubt make it even hotter. I know I looked like a creeper, but I couldn’t get that vision of Jenna out of my head. I turned the material to look at the price tag, thinking maybe for the future and nearly fell over, $7500. Holy shit. Who pays that kind of money for a bra?

“It’s a bargain.” I heard from behind me and my face grew hot and pink, caught red handed by Phoebe herself. I prayed she didn’t notice me fondling the bra. She wore a smirk like she’d just caught me trying to shoplift or something.

“Seventy five hundred dollars?... for a bra?”

“Come on Prince Charming those are real emeralds and French spun silk. If you are going to be cheap I can sell it to you at cost, but only if you think you can get Jenna to wear it.”

If I could only get Jenna to wear it I’d pay double that. Not pushing her sexually was so fucking hard. The way she’d touch me, the way her eyes would flutter shut when we kissed, the small noises she’d make when she was really into it, all those things, fuck everything she did made me want her more. I’d taken more cold showers and imagined my grandma in her underwear more times than I cared to recall. I looked back at Phoebe, and could tell she knew exactly what I was thinking.

“You’re not there yet huh?” she said.

I wiped the beads of sweat from my forehead, and confirmed what she said was true. She rested her hands on her hips and gave me a knowing look. “But I bet you want her don’t you. I bet you can’t freakin wait to get yourself some of that?”

“I don’t smell sweaty socks,” I teased and looked around, “Isn’t that locker room talk.”

“You better not be talking about her like that in the locker room. I’m her best friend; I’m allowed to talk to about her like that.” She walked toward the counter and hopped up. “I love her...” she continued, “but something tells me I’m not the only one.”

I hadn’t told Jenna how I felt about her. I hadn’t made any confessions though I’d wanted to on many occasions, and as much as I liked Phoebe, I wasn’t about to share my feelings with her before I told Jenna. “Well for someone who loves her, you haven’t been coming around a whole lot.”

“Is that why you’re here? Did she send you to do her dirty work? Her work’s not really dirty though is it? Are you doing her goody goody work now?”

“I’m here because I care about Jenna. I care about her a lot. You drive her completely insane with all your sex talk and dirty jokes, but she loves you, and she misses you. I just want to make sure you’re not making yourself scarce because of me. I don’t want to get in the way of your friendship.”

“Wow. You really are fucking perfect aren’t you? What man does that? What man would go out of his way for his girl like that? And you’re not even getting laid… by her anyways? Correction…You BETTER NOT be getting laid at all!”

I put my hands up ready to defend myself I’d never do that to Jenna. I’ve made enough mistakes in my life, I’d never make them with her. “You can rest assured my balls are blue as they come.”

“They don’t have to be you know. I mean she’s a virgin she’s not dead.”

“Is this locker room talk again?” I joked and put my hands over my ears jokingly.

“Seriously Parise. I know you’re trying to be all sweet and shit, but she’s into you, really into you.”

“I can’t push her Phoebe, I care about her too much.”

“She’s not going to just come out and tell you when she’s ready Prince Charming, she doesn’t have it in her, and I have a secret. Don’t tell anybody OK?” she mocked. “There are other things you can do besides…” she softened her voice to a quiet whisper, “sexual intercourse.” She said the words and I knew she was trying to be funny, but the imagery was, well it was fucking overwhelming. “Oh I see I hit a sensitive spot. Sorry about that Prince Charming. I’m just saying, you can be good without being good, if you get my meaning.” I did, I totally got her meaning, and I totally had to go before she noticed what all this thinking about Jenna like that was doing to me. (My grandma in her undies, my grandma in her undies).

“Ok well, it’s been nice chatting with you. I’m gonna run.”

“Forgot why you came in here didn’t you? Distracted by the sex talk? Thinking about virgin sex will do that to you, especially when she’s got legs that go on for days.”

“You’re not helping my cause here Pheebs.” I said turning and walking toward the front door.

“I thought your cause was to get me to spend more time with Jenna, not thinking about popping her cherry.”

I was seriously going to have to buy a newspaper from the stand outside. “Right. That was it. Don’t be a stranger. I’ll see you later.”

I could still hear her laughing as the door swung closed behind me.

****

It was another win for the red hot Devils, and now I had more reason to be happy than just the obvious victory by my favorite hockey team. Zach had two goals and an assist, a great night even by his standards, and the way he moved around that rink it was like he was trying to work off extra energy or something. After the game, I sat waiting in the room designated for friends and family perched on a stool chatting with Marty Brodeur's wife Genny. Genny was pleasant enough and treated me better than most of the women that filled the room. Most of the women, even the wives were so different from me. Bleach blond hair, collagen injected lips, breast enhancements, none of them felt odd wearing stilettos or thigh high boots to a hockey game, they were much more like Allison than me. I sat in the box with them once, and got thrown dirty looks for wearing my jersey with Zach's number on that back that he had given me as a gift. When would I wear it if not at a game? The worst part is that half of them didn't even know what was going on during the game and most of the other half didn't care. That's not the way I watch hockey. I drink beer, I jump to my feet when the devs kill a penalty or score a goal, and if it's Zach scoring the goal, I scream and yell like a crazy person, not caring if no one in the arena knows I'm with him, because I know it. I am real hockey fan; it's not clear to me what you call these other women.

The two sitting on the end of the sofa were more bothersome to me than most. I'd like to tell you they'd done something to me or treated me badly, but they hadn't. The only reason they hadn't was because I was in the same group as them, I was a hockey girlfriend. It felt weird, but it was true, and it was the only reason I was accepted, clearly I didn't fit in. These two were particularly bad because of the player the taller one was attached to, Travis Zajac. After Phoebe, Travis immediately grabbed on to the first puck bunny that wiggled by, that gem at the end of the sofa with the huge boobs and the fake smile; a very poor replacement for my best friend. When Genny got up to leave with Marty, I couldn't help but overhear the girl's conversation, what will all the giggles and shrieks.

“They leave in two days for a road trip. I guess I know what you and Travis will be doing for those two days.”

“I plan to rock his world actually. I can’t have him looking for love while he’s gone. I need to make sure he’s good and satisfied when he gets on that plane.”

My stomach started churning and I tried harder not to listen, in my mind Travis was earmarked for my Phoebe but blocking them out was no use as I heard them recite the gory details of their plans to keep their men satisfied. All of a sudden it wasn’t about Phoebe and Travis, it was about Zach and me. And if sex was the measurement of how satisfied a man is… I had been a complete fail. So much so that Zach’s not even interested in sex with me.

I'd be lying if I said the whole conversation between the barbie twins didn't have me feeling sorry for myself and in a fairly unsocial mood. Zach must have sensed something was bothering me because he politely declined the offer to party the night away to celebrate the win. "I think I'll celebrate my own way," Zach replied and as soon as we cleared away from his teammates he offered to make me omelets back at his place.

I sat on my kitchen counter while he cooked using the ingredients found in my frig. I madly tried to come up with a way to talk to him about what was going on between us, or maybe what wasn't. He pressed a glass of white wine into my hand and gave me a soft kiss on the lips. I just got Zach and I didn't want to lose him. Still if he wasn't feeling the same way toward me I needed to know now, before I got in deeper, as it was I'd be heartbroken if it ended between us. As always the one food item Zach knew how to cook was phenomenal, omelets piled high with tomatoes feta cheese and asparagus, and as always he was romantic and sweet, giving me signs that he was happy with me, that this is where he wanted to be, that maybe I was just being paranoid. We moved toward couch and I decided it was time to take things into my own hands.

I moved from the cushion beside him and crawled on his lap. I kissed him softly at first, but deepened things quickly by taking control and letting my tongue explore his mouth. I let my hands run over his chest and the well defined muscles of his arms that taunted me to stroke them. Things were going so well at least for me and I could feel his body heat rise as I pressed my chest into him. I told myself he wouldn't get up and leave this time, that he'd show me that he wanted me, even if it didn't go that far, at least I'd know he found me attractive, but seconds later I sat alone disappointed and rejected. Zach had stood up abruptly making the "it's getting late" speech and running his hand through his short choppy hair. "I'm gonna go," he said, bending down to place a chaste kiss on my forehead and headed toward the door.

I didn't move; Tears came to my eyes as I stayed firmly planted on the sofa. I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't a test. The last twenty minutes were in fact a test, a final test to see what was really going on between us. It was a test that Zach failed miserably. "Wait!" I yelled, and stopped Zach in his tracks.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked with panic in his voice.

I turned toward him kneeling and looking over the back of the sofa. I didn't care that's he'd notice the tears in my eyes. It was time to lay all my cards on the table. No More Games! "If this isn't what you want Zach," I moved my hand between him and I so there would be no mistaking what I was asking, "tell me now. I want to know now."

"Are you serious Jenna? Really?"

"You obviously aren't that into me. You always find an excuse to keep us from getting closer. We can still be friends, it'll be hard at first, but I'll deal really."

Zach's look of confusion melded into something else as he made his way back around the sofa and pulled me into him. "You're talking crazy. Why would you say that?"

"Come on Zach. You barely touch me. Every time things are going well between us you get up and leave. Your excuses are pathetic. You're a terrible liar Zach."

"Is that what this is about? Jenna, you think I don't want you?" Zach laughed, his head rolled back and it appeared as though he sincerely found what I'd said funny. I shivered and nodded my agreement, letting him know that, that was exactly what I thought. "God I wish that was my problem. Forgive me for being vulgar, but I can't come within ten feet of you without getting a raging hard on. Do you know how many wet dreams you've starred in? Do you know hard it is for me to get up and leave every time we make out, how hard it is not to rip your clothes off of you? Not want you Jenna? I'm sorry for laughing, really, but that's just the funniest thing I've ever heard." Any other man would say those things and I'd squirm out of discomfort, but Zach's admission made me blush madly, hearing him say those things about me not only eased my mind, they made my desire for him that much stronger. Both his words and my reaction left me feeling embarrassed and needy. "Do you understand what I'm saying to you Jenna? Do you understand that I pull away because I care about you? Because you have values that I have to respect and if I don't leave when I do, then I'm afraid I'll get carried away?" Zach pulled me on his lap again. He kissed the side of my neck and put his lips to my ear. "Did you ever think that I leave because I love you? Because I'm in love with you?"

My heart stopped beating and I gasped for air. "You love me?" I asked softly desperate to hear those words again.

"I love you Jenna. I'm madly in love with you. I should have told you a long time ago. I should have told you the first time I kissed you, but I was scared shitless that you'd laugh at me." My mind was spinning. From the day I met him I'd dreamed I'd hear those words pass his lips, and now it was surreal. It was our moment and it was amazing. He kissed me softly. "So now I have to go. My nightly cold shower is calling me." I didn't say anything, just slid off his lap. I wanted to stop him, but I was frozen where I sat trying to let what he just said sink in.

I heard the door open and I knew my chance was now. "Wait!" I called out for the second time this evening. Zach froze once again and in seconds I met him at the door. I tugged him inside and closed the door behind him. My lips landed on his, in a no holes barred kiss that was making my body tingle in all the right places. I could feel Zach holding back so I pulled away. "You know there are other things we can do besides sex."

I didn't understand Zach's laugh or the words that followed. "Where have I heard that before?"