Sugar & Spice

*Rosie’s Point of View

I hurried down to the front door, unceremoniously dumping my trunk on the steps outside, and moved over to the entrance of the Great Hall, taking care to stay out of the sights of the Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables. Just because it was broad daylight, it didn’t mean that any remaining Death Eaters wouldn’t try something. After all, the ‘word’ was out on me.

The only way I would be safe here now was if Voldemort either died or suddenly decided to become a monk and took vows of Sainthood. Call me prejudiced, but I wasn’t going to pin my life on the chances of that happening.

I couldn’t see Sirius, but Remus and James were there at the Gryffindor table. I was relieved that I wouldn’t have to say goodbye to him in front of the others; that was private.

I tried to catch their eye, but it was in vain; they weren’t paying attention to the doorway. After a few impatient seconds I finally threw caution to the wind.

“James!” I bellowed as loud as I could, and then ducked out of sight as practically every person in the Great Hall turned at the outburst. I waited, and began counting under my breath.

Before I’d reached forty, both James and Remus came around the corner, looking anxious and curious.

“Rosie!” Remus exclaimed, the one closest to me. He looked sad as his eyes roved over my purple hospital gown and black, hooded form. Without thinking I threw my arms around his waist and pulled him into an embrace, hugging him tightly as James came to stand beside us, his expression bleak.

“You’re leaving now, aren’t you?” James whispered, making it sound like a statement rather than a question. I pulled away from Remus and looked between the both of them, surprised.

“How did you know?” I asked, frowning.

“Sirius told us.” Remus informed me, looking down at his hands as he spoke. I didn’t ask who had told Sirius – I would ask him myself.

“Look, don’t be strangers, you two. You’re my best friends. I’ll send you an owl when I get there, and I’ll be back soon.” I fibbed. I couldn’t bear to tell them the truth. It was too sad, and I knew they’d try to find a way to make me stay.

“Definitely Tammie. Come back soon.” James ordered, pulling me into a quick hug. My eyes were growing watery. It was time to go.

“Where’s Sirius?” I asked them as James released me. I turned towards the door.

“He said something about going down to the lake a while ago. Take care, Rosie - and come back soon!” Remus called after me as I started off. I waved a hand over my head without turning; I didn’t fully trust my voice.

I stopped just outside the massive oak doors and squinted against the deliciously warm sunlight beaming down on me. But lovely as it was, it couldn’t chase the deep chill from my bones. Online time would do that now.

It really was a beautiful day. There was a warm breeze lifting the ends of my hair, and the birds were singing, though where it was coming from, I couldn’t be sure. Wildflowers were springing up amongst the grass and the sun glinted off the Black Lake, reflecting large, bright golden blocks of light in all directions as the sun crept closer to the horizon.

I couldn’t see anybody there but I took off running anyways. There was a large beech tree at the lakeside, and I knew how the Marauders often relaxed underneath its shade.

When I was about three hundred metres from the water I spotted a lone figure standing at the end of the long wooden jetty. His back was to me as he looked out over the lake with his hands in his pockets.

I slowed automatically as I neared him, trying to think what on earth I would say. He already knew I was leaving – should I tell him the same thing I’d told the others? That I was just going away for a little while? That I’d be back?

The second I set foot on the first plank of the jetty he turned sharply, feeling the vibration through the wood.

The afternoon sunlight gilded his black hair from the back, turning the edges gold. Try as I might I couldn’t read his expression, though I wasn’t sure if that was because he was still too far away or not.

After a long moment he started towards me, and as always I couldn’t help but watch the way he moved, or help noticing the way the wind whipped off the waves and blew his hair about his face.

As he came close enough for me to see his features, I was struck by the utter bleakness, the desolateness that radiated off him in waves as wild and choppy as the ones beneath my feet.

Tears began to slide down my cheeks and I looked down so that my hair covered my face.

I closed my eyes as he came to a stop in front of me, dreading this last farewell.

“Tammie,” Black said; I felt his hand brush a lock of hair behind my ear and opened my eyes. My heart rate kicked up at his closeness; we were almost chest to chest – or chest to stomach, in our case.

“Come to say goodbye?” He asked me softly, trying to catch my eye as he always did, but I couldn’t look at him.

“Yes.” My throat worked painfully around the simple word. I tried to get a grip. “How did you know?”

“Tom – and your Dad – told me.” I nodded. It made sense. I took a deep breath, looking down at the wooden planks and restless waters below my feet. I just had to do this quickly or I’d never leave.

“I have to go now. I just thought I should let you know. I’ll be back before you even notice I’m gone.” There was a pause as I looked out over the water, hiding my wet cheeks with my bowed head.

“Tammie. Tammie, look at me.” When I didn’t, he lifted my chin with his finger.

When he saw my face his expression went from one of calm acceptance to tortured in a second.

“Don’t lie to me. You don’t think you’re coming back.” He stated. My eyes widened; he was more in tune with me than I’d ever given him credit for.

“No! I mean, I am. I said I’m com -”

“Don’t lie!” He exclaimed, dropping the hand that had been holding my chin up. To my surprise he wasn’t angry. Instead, his eyes reflected a complicated kaleidoscope of intense emotion as he regarded me quietly. He must have seen something in my eyes, because he eventually added,

“Well I have news for you, Tammie: we will see each other again, mark my words.” He told me fiercely, his eyes blazing. “I’ll find you - even if you don’t come back to Hogwarts, I’ll find you.” He asserted forcefully.

I couldn’t help by give a watery smile at his words, even if I knew he wouldn’t be able to. How could he track me down if we were putting measures in place to stop Voldemort – the man they were calling the most powerful dark wizard of all time – hunting us down?

“Yeah,” I agreed without feeling. It sounded weak in my own ears. I glanced behind me at my discarded trunk by the front doors. I had a sudden thought.

He already knew I wouldn’t be returning, so why not give him something to remember me by? My blood chilled at the mere idea of him being able to forget me.

“You took Muggle Studies, right? Well, I want you to do something for me: my old motorbike is just sitting in the garage at my old house. I want you to have it. Something to remember me by. It would suit your bad boy image,” I joked lamely. He stared at me, but not like I’d said something ridiculous; more like he was trying to figure out a particularly difficult puzzle. He nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving mine.

I steeled myself, clearing my throat. “Goodbye Sirius.”

I leaned up on my tip-toes and kissed him on both cheeks, placing my hand on his neck as I tried to convey wordlessly how I felt. When I pulled away it was with a great feeling of reluctance.

Love you, I thought the words I couldn’t bring myself to say aloud, and without another word turned back to the castle.

It was almost as if he’d heard my thought; I hadn’t even taken a single step when he caught my wrist, pulling me back into him with such strength that I crashed into his chest.

“Sirius, I -”

And then his velvet lips were on mine, soft and moist and warm. My eyes fluttered closed.

I completely forgot where I was, our situation, and even what my name was when he took me into his arms and kissed me so passionately that it took my breath away. Desire licked at any resistance I might’ve still had, and I practically melted into him.

His hands brushed up and down my waist and very slowly skimmed across the outer edges of my breasts.

I couldn’t help it; I inhaled in a sharp gasp against his mouth, unable to hold it in, but I was too caught up in him – his touch, the heat smouldering between us and through my body – to feel embarrassed.

He moaned in response, a deep, animalistic sound that came from deep within his chest, and his hands tangled in my hair as our lips parted.

I could feel his heart racing against my hands as our tongues tentatively met in a way that sent hot quivers of delight in my lower abdomen.

Sirius pulled me so tight against him that I could feel every single muscle in his body against mine. His growing desire pushed hard against my stomach, and my eyes rolled back at the sensation. This is what I’ve been missing?

Suddenly he pulled back; I was gratified to see that he was gasping every bit as much as I was. That famous Sirius Black smirk was firmly in place, his pale eyes catching the dying sunlight as he grinned down at me. I felt blissfully elevated. I could feel that my lips were moist and red and swollen, but it was a delicious sensation – a reminder of his touch.

“Quick, get out of here, before I take you right here.” He breathed in my ear. I couldn’t help it; I gave a wild laugh as molten liquid pooled in my stomach at the thought.

I barely managed to suppress the urge to run back into his arms as I took a couple of steps backwards.

“I’ll be seeing you, Tammie. Try to look after yourself until then, would you?”

“I’ll try,” I smirked, holding his eye for a second before racing back to the castle.

By the time I reached my trunk I could hardly see him anymore and I was panting heavily, having run up the hill the whole way.

Now that I was away from him and his intoxicating presence, those dreaded tears pricked at my eyes once more, but I forced myself to walk down the winding path to the front gates where I knew my brother and father were waiting impatiently.

When I finally reached them I turned and glanced back at the place that had been my home for what felt like a lifetime.

I stood there motionlessly, just drinking in the sight of it, trying to burn it into my memories. I never wanted to forget my time at Hogwarts – both the good and the bad experiences I’d had. Whether or not I would ever return was uncertain, but I’d never regret having come here, or the friends I’d made, even if I was leaving them now.

I made a vow to myself then: no matter what happened, no matter how long it took, I would be reunited with Sirius, and the other Marauders and Lily.

Satisfied, I turned back to my family. I smiled.

“I’m ready.”