Love Is Only a Myth

I tensed up once the words left his mouth. I should have seen this coming, but I didn’t. I should have known that one day I was going to have to explain to him why I’m unlike any other teenage girl he’s ever met. There’s no point in hiding it from him, he’s going to find out eventually.

“You know you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to…I was just….you know…wondering about it”

“No it’s okay” I sighed. “I’m going to have to tell you eventually anyway so why not.”

“Oh. Okay” he quietly replied. I knew that he was still slightly nervous, though I said that I would answer the question. He probably thinks that I’m going to be offended or something, but I won’t. I am curious though about why he wants to know. Then again, wouldn’t everyone want to know why a 17 year old girl doesn’t believe in love? That’s probably it; he’s simply curious, right?

I stopped mid-step and took a deep breath to prepare myself. I don’t understand why I was nervous about explaining this to him, it’s simply me telling him my opinion except different because this isn’t what I feel it’s what I know. I turned on my heel so that I was facing him. “Well, I guess you could say that it’s because of my parents”

He furrowed his brows together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

I sighed and put some of my hair behind my ear. “My parents were supposedly in love. Everyone said that they were the most amazing and sweetest couple that they’ve ever seen and that they would be together forever. Well forever only lasted up until I was born and my dad hired a new “secretary” for his office. Of course he cheated on my mom with her and they ended up getting divorced,” I explained.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that but that’s not really a good reason t--” “That’s not the reason. It’s like the intro to the reason” I interrupted.

“Oh sorry. You were saying”

“They got divorced and my mom had custody of me, so of course I went to live with her. My mom said that no matter what happens she would always “love” my dad. Well when she heard the news about my dad remarrying that bitch of a secretary I mean…no I meant it. When she found out her love for him caused her to spiral, as some would say. She became an alcoholic and she wasn’t a functioning one either.” Tears were beginning to form in my eyes as I spoke. The memories of me coming home and having to take care of my mother because she was passed out or to drunk to function were flooding my mind, the memories of her hitting me or cursing at me from thinking that I was my father. She did all of this because she supposedly loved him.

Anthony wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his arms. I buried my face in his chest and told myself that I wasn’t going to cry. I had to be strong; I couldn’t allow myself to cry because of this.

“They called her an unfit parent and forced me to go live with my father and that whore. My mother had to go to rehab to get some help. She’s been there for what feels like forever and has relapsed twice. My father claims that he’s still in love with her, which is how I know love doesn’t exist, if he really was in love with her, then based on what I’ve heard about it, then he wouldn’t let my mother go through this alone. Instead he only takes me to see her once every blue moon.” Tears were slowly falling down my face.

I honestly still love my mother. She is my mother after all. Not to mention that she wasn’t abusive unless she was drunk beyond normality. I haven’t seen her since last year but I did talk to her during the summer. She said that she was doing well but I missed her. I went from seeing my mother everyday to not seeing her at all.

Anthony’s grip around my waist tightened. I felt him kiss my forehead making me smile despite the tears falling down my face. I was glad that Anthony was here comforting me. I wanted to stay in his arms as long as I could. I wrapped my arms around his waist and enjoyed the moment.

“I’m sorry that that happened to your mom,” he said breaking the silence between us.

I shrugged. “She’s getting better” I looked up at him. “But now you see why I don’t believe in it” I regrettably let go of him and he did the same. He stiffly nodded his head before placing his hands into his pockets. I raised my eyebrow; there was something else on his mind. His eyes looked kind of distance. As if he were thinking, abut something. I decided to ask him what was on his mind, indirectly. “So are you saying that you understand why I don’t believe in love?”

He opened his mouth then closed it again. He looked off to the side then focused his attention back on me. He began to rub the back of his neck with his hand I will admit; I love how cute he looks when he’s nervous. “Well…” he began “I guess that’s a…good reason”

“You’re lying” I pointed out. I could see hesitation in his eyes. His eyes were always his downfall; I could read him by simply looking into his eyes.

He sighed before pulling me closer to him. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I just think that…..” he trailed off at the end. His face became serious as he tucked a stray hair behind my ear. “I just don’t think that you should think that because of what happened to your parents. People make mistakes, but you shouldn’t base your life off their mistakes. You should learn from your own” His eyes left mine for a split second; he was hesitating. He was hesitating about saying something else. “Especially, since you don’t know what the future may hold…for you” he murmured.

I simply shrugged and looked away. What he was saying was true but I don’t know if I could believe in it yet. As far as I’m concerned, those were just words.

How do I know if it’s real?