Bleeding, Just For The Attention

I’m lying, bleeding, on the floor because I needed the attention.
I didn’t want the attention from playing, from being “the girl setting the world on fire” or from being the “FBR whore”
I don’t want that attention, because that’s not me.
I started all of this because I wanted to meet my idol.
I started playing guitar for something to do,
But I started liking it the day i saw Panic! Play.
The day I saw Ryan Ross play.
I just wanted to meet him, to talk to him.
And now I have.
So really I have no reason to have done what I have.
My sleeves are now stained red, and so is the carpet.
This is taking it all too far.
Luckily there's no pain.
I wouldn't have done it if it would hurt too much.
I'm not a fan of pain at all.
I looked down upon the scene.
It looks too planned, as though I imagined the way it would end.
I can hear them finishing their last song.
Build God, Then We’ll Talk.
That’s the last song they played when i saw them the first time.
My favourite.
They have new songs now.
I don’t like them as much as the old ones.
The crowd burst into cheers as I pulled myself up into a sitting position.
My head swam and I leant back against the wall.
Footsteps came closer and closer, pounding through my head.
I shut my eyes just as the door swung open, hitting my foot.

“Ouch.” I groaned, and slid back down the wall.

“Elise! Lee, please open your eyes!” I felt two clammy hands on either side of my face

“Ryan?” I muttered.

“Lee, what have you-“ his hands moved to my wrists. “Spence, call an ambulance.”

I heard the thundering of the crowd leaving.

“Why, Lee?”

My eyes flickered open, to see Ryan's sad face, just before they closed again.