Don't Hold Your Breath

"Save it. I'm going home." I brushed passed him and headed for the door. He just doesn't get it. If I don't want to think about what happened because it upsets me, then god damn it I won't! I don't need some god damn Mormon kid with a perfect home life to tell me how I should feel! 

Before I reached the door he grabbed my arm and spun me around so I was facing him. Damn he was strong. I don't know why I didn't pull away. Considering I was just mentally cursing him. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. There was something in his eyes that told me he was sorry. And I believed it. He pulled me into a tight embrace. He was the first person to show this type of affection towards me. Ever. Except maybe my mother when I was little. But that was ages ago. This brought more tears to my eyes. How could one person, who I've known for only a month, care for me more then both my parents put together? 
Then I realized that I had treated this one kid that actually cares about me like total shit. I never even properly thanked him for saving my life. And yet, here he is comforting me.

 "Thank you Brendon. For everything. For lying to the cops.... For letting me stay here, for Saving my fucking life, and.... For not giving up on me" I whispered the last part. It was true. Most people would have given up on me after the first diss. But he didn't. There was a certain warmth In his eyes. His eyes traveled down to my lips. Then I found myself uncontrollably staring at his. I felt myself almost being pulled towards him. I wanted to kiss him, so badly. At least that's what one part of me told me. My mind told me the opposite. That it would be a mistake. Because I'm not gay. (As cliche as it sounds) i can't be gay. But something told me if he were to lean in and close the small gap between us, I wouldn't push away. At least not until it was too late. I was relieved when his mother walked in and he stepped away from me. Because it was getting to the point where I wouldn't have been able to control myself. I blushed at the thought of us kissing. I wonder If the same thing had been going through his mind. When I looked over and saw that he was probably about as red as I was, I figured he must have been.

"Boys, dinner is almost ready. Be sure to wash up." 

"okay mom. " he responded. Still flushed. Although I don't think his mom noticed. She seemed distracted by something. 

"Well, um, you've had a long day..... Why don't you take a shower or something and I'll set up your bed......."

"Um, alright. Thanks......." I walked out awkwardly.  
I found my way to the bathroom, remembering from the last time I was here. It seemed like forever ago. After I undressed I turned to full length mirror and assessed the fresh bruises and my new stitches across the front of my stomach. I sighed and stepped in the shower. When I was clean and dressed I made my way back to Brendon's room. He wasn't in there, he must have gone down stairs. There was a bed made up on the love seat that I assumed was mine. It was fairly small, but it worked. It was better then the floor, and I was grateful they were letting me stay here at all. I sat down on the "bed" and was going to lay down for a little but before dinner. I was extremely tired. But just then Brendon walked in. 

"What are you doing on my bed?" he asked. 

"your bed?" 

"yep. While you're here you are sleeping on my bed and I get the couch." he said nonchalantly. 

"No, really Brendon, it's okay. I'm fine here." 

"Ryan, you just got out of the hospital. I'm not going to let you sleep on that tiny thing. You're sleeping on the bed." 

"But I really don't want to impose-"

"You're not. Now get off my bed." he interrupted. He tried his best to sound harsh. 

"Make me." I stuck my Tongue out at him and laid down, pretending to sleep. He surprised me by picking me up off the couch. 

"Oh shit!" I yelled grabbing on to him. Not expecting him to do that. He carried me bridal style over to his bed an gently set me down the raced over to the couch sprawling across it. I jumped up off the bed and sat on top of him. We were both laughing at this point. 

"You know, you're a lot lighter then you look. Which is scary, because you look like you're anorexic." he chuckled. 

"At least I don't have my mothers ass." I replied smoothly. He had a look of mock horror on his face. 

"How would you know huh?" he shot back. Damn. I walked right into that one.

"Oh shut up." was all I could come up with. 

"Boys, dinner is- What are you two doing?" Brendons mom said as she walked in on us fighting over the tiny couch. 

"Um he wouldn't let me sleep on the couch." I tried to old a straight face. . . And failed. 

"Oh you boys. Come down stairs for dinner. I made my special lasagna." 

"I would love to mother, if only I could get up......." she walked away laughing to herself. 

"Oh please. You know you like it. That's why you haven't pushed me off  by now." I stuck my tongue out at him. 

"Maybe I'm afraid I'll break you because you're so fragile." he taunted. 
I pretended to be offended then got off of him. Ad he stood up I tackled him to the ground proving my strongness.

"Who's the weak one now?" I taunted. 

"You seem to like this position don't you?" 

"That was uncalled for!" I yelled as I shoved his face in the carpet. I heard muffled laughing. 

"Okay okay you win!" he said.  Although with his face in the carpet it sounded more like "ofay ofay vu fin." I laughed and helped him up.

~*~

After dinner we went back upstairs. I collapsed on the couch and he stood there with his arms crossed. "Man I am beat" I mumbled with my arm slung over my eyes.  

"I told you. You're not sleeping on the couch." 

"Well neither are you." he raised an eyebrow. "Look, why don't we both sleep on the bed. It looks big enough. And I don't take up that much room anyways. And besides. I'm to tired to argue." He rolled his eyes. 

"Fine. But I'm going to bed now. I have to go to church tomorrow. You can come if you want. But they're just a bunch of homophobic douche bags." I raised an eyebrow. 

"Well that's....... Nice...." I said sarcastically. 

"Well it's true...." he mumbled. I rolled my eyes and laughed. I got up and walked over to the bed and sat down. He did the same. I wonder.......

"Hey Bren, can we play a game?" I asked giving the best puppy dog look I could manage in the dark. 

"Depends. What game?" 

"20 questions." although I think my version is a little bit different from his.....

"Alright fine. You first."

"Are you gay?" I blurted out. I was going to work up to it but.....

"What?! I don't think that's how this game is played......"

"Just answer me."

"I...... " He was hesitant. Which is normal but I mean, he knows my deepest secret, why can't I know his? That is if he's gay I mean. 

"Come on Brendon please? You can trust me. You know my secret." I tried. He glanced at me with pleading eyes. Then looked down. 

"I.... I don't know. I mean, I think I might be."