And I'll Sculpt My Life For Your Acceptance

The next day was Tuesday, I told Tony that I would start work again no later than Tuesday and I was keeping my word, I dropped Cam off in town so that he could find a job before going to Gilman's. I told Cam to come there once he finished since I would still be at work when he was done.

"Karmony!" Casey said when he opened the door for me.

"Casey!" I said back, using the same excited tone as him. "How you been, big guy?" I asked as we walked towards my office.

"Good, it's been lonely without you. I had to put up with dickheads, all weekend." he rolled his eyes and I smiled at him.

"Well I am back now! No need for you to have to put up with them dickheads no more." I was happy to be back, I'd missed working as sad as that sounds. But it made me feel like an adult, having to be around Cam all day, everyday was making me feel like the teenager from back home in Jersey.

"What have you been up to? Are you going to tell me why you mysteriously had to take a few days off? Did you take my advice?"

"I haven't been up to much really. I got a call from my younger brother the other night and he got kicked out so now he's staying with me for a month so I was just getting him settled in before I came back." I explained, he looked excited at the mention of my brother.

"Your brother? Do I get to meet him?"

"Yeah, you should he'll be in here later today so if some kid comes in looking for me, let him in please?" I asked. We reached the office and I was expecting him to leave me but he followed me into the office.

"Sure thing." He said as he took a seat at the other desk. "You know why you were away Billie Joe came in here every night asking where you were."

I can't say I was really surprised at that, the guy was practically confessing his love for me everyday and then I don't show up to work and he's curious, I would be surprised if he didn't ask. I just stared blankly at the piece of paper in front of me. It was a list of people who had brought tickets for Friday's show. Up the top it had that both Operation Ivy and Green Day were playing. I would have to get Cam to come to work with me. "Hey Casey?" he nodded his head, and looked at me curiously. "Is it okay if my brother comes to work with me? Or is that something I have to talk to Tony about? He's sixteen."

Casey shrugged. "I guess it would be alright. But I'd ask Tony just to be sure." I nodded and he stood up. "I'm sorry for bringing up Billie Joe, I didn't think it would make you that uncomfortable."

"It's okay, it didn't make me uncomfortable. I just wasn't expecting you to say anything about him." I told him honestly.

He smiled sympathetically at me. "Well I better get back to doing my job, I'll see you later." He gave me a slight wave before leaving the room.

I sat there for a few minutes before I realized that Tony didn't know I was here, I stood from my seat and set off to find Tony.

He was out the back with a delivery truck. "Karmony!" He said when he seen me walk through the open door.

"Tony! And Truck Driver!" I said to the two men standing by the truck. "I just thought I would let you know that I'm here today and can I talk to you when you're done here?"

He nodded his head, "It's good to see you again. Just let me finish signing this and I'll meet you in the office." He held up a folder.

I nodded and went back to the office. I'd noticed that Billie wasn't here today; I wasn't sure if I should be happy or sad. Happy because he wasn't bothering me and sad because he wasn't here and I couldn't see him.

I waited patiently for Tony to come. It took around 10-15 minutes for him to show his face.

"So how have you been? You were fairly brief on the phone." He asked.

"I've been fine, everything is alright. I just have my brother staying with me for a while and he's sixteen but I don't want him to stay in the apartment all the time while I work so is it okay or him to come in with me, it should only be at nights when I work because he's looking for a job."

"That is fine." He said. "When do we get to meet him?" I smiled, everybody wanted to meet the kid; it was like he was my boyfriend and Casey and Tony were my parents. I laughed at the thought and Tony looked at me funny. "What's funny?"

I shook my head, "Nothing. He is coming in later because I drove him here so he could start looking for a job but I won't be finished by the time he is so he is going to come chill here and wait for me."

He grinned. "Good, I'll come back and see you later and in the mean time get some work done." It was the first time he acted like a real boss to me, it was weird.

"Sure thing, boss." We both laughed and he left me alone with the piles of tickets and papers.

When Cam arrived Casey brought him straight to me. I was on the phone to some girl wanting to buy some tickets so they stood there talking, well Casey was talking, Cam looked like he was ready to make a run for it. When I hung up Casey spoke. "He seems a bit lost here." he laughed as he pushed Cameron into the small room. Cam looked like he was petrified at the huge guy. "Don't be scared, kid, I don't bite...boys." I laughed at the look on Cam's face; it was priceless.

"Seriously Cameron, don't be scared of him." I told my younger sibling as I soon and walked toward the two boys. I grabbed Cam's arm and pulled him towards the door. "Hurry up, we got to introduce you to my boss." I told him, his face went even whiter. "And you thought Casey was scary!" I whispered loudly so Casey could hear me, we both laughed loudly and Cameron just stared at us.

I pulled him to the bar where I knew Tony was because I could hear him cleaning. He turned around when he heard our footsteps. "Hey guys. How are you?"

"Hey boss man; this is Cameron, my brother." I said pushing Cam slightly forward.

Tony studied him for a few seconds, I'm sure it felt like years to Cam, he was sweating fucking bullets. These guys weren't really intimidating or even scary but he seemed to think differently. "Nice to meet you. Can I call you Cam?" Cameron nodded his head slowly. "'Kay, would you like a drink anybody?" I nodded and looked at Cameron who nodded as well. I noticed that Casey shook his head and began to walk off.

I ended up leaving Cam with Tony while I finished up. When I went out to get him, he was helping move all the stuff that the delivery truck dropped off into the fridges.

"Good to see you helping out, kid." I said, he turned around with a huge smile on his face. "What's with the smile?” I asked suspiciously.

"Guess whose helping you out around here for the next month?"

"Uh, you?" I guessed. He nodded his head eagerly. "How did you manage that?"

He shrugged, "Apparently you mentioned that I was looking for a job and Tony asked how it went and I told him it was crap so he offered me one here for the time that I'm here. He said you could use a hand."

"Well I guess that’s pretty cool."

It was now Friday afternoon and I was waiting for Cam so that we could go to work.

"Hurry up, fag!" I yelled as I glanced at the clock, we were supposed to be there almost twenty minutes ago. "You're going to get us both fired!"

He walked out into the hallway near the door and smirked at me. "Had to look good for the ladies!" I rolled my eyes and opened the door.

"No girl in their right mind is going to look at you." I snapped and walked towards the stairs. "And lock the door." I threw the keys back to him. He caught them with ease and locked the apartment door.

"Do you think I'm ugly?" he asked when we got to the car.

I looked over at him. I will admit I was a little taken back by what he just asked me. "Uh, no. Why?"

"You said that 'No girl in their right mind is going to look at me'." he quoted.

"I didn't mean it like that." I said as I turned on the car and started to drive in the direction of work.

"How did you mean it?"

"I was pissed off; don't take it to heart Cameron." I said. After that it was silent for the rest of the drive

When we got there it was already starting to fill up. I looked at Casey who pointed to the bar where Tony was, he did not look happy. "You're going to get in shit when we get home." I glared at Cam. We walked to the bar and I walked behind it, Cameron stayed back on the other side. "Sorry Tony, we had car trouble." I lied, I wasn't going to put Cam out to dry, his excuse is stupid.

Tony looked at me, his eyes filled with anger. "I don't want your excuse's just get to work!" He snapped, throwing the towel that he was holding down and marching off.

I glared at Cam. "Get your ass over this side." He done as I told him and we got to work.

When Green Day went on I felt like I needed a break, I left Cam at the bar and went to the bathroom. I went to the sink and splashed water on my face. I licked my lips and all I could taste was the salty sweat mixed with gross water. I sighed as I stared at my reflection, I looked like a freak no wonder everybody runs the other way when they see me. I looked like I got into a fight with a piercing gun and the blue bits in my hair had grown out so it looked fairly crap, plus my clothes; well don't get me started at why people would disapprove of them. I felt like I disapproved of them, it was like Berkeley was changing my view on things, and not the big things like what I want to do with my life, the little things like how I don't care what people think of my appearance and my attitude.

I was brought out of my self-loathing state by the door opening and two girls walking in, they looked at me and laughed before going into two separate toilets. I rolled my eyes and left. As I was walking back to the stage the music died down and Billie Joe began to speak, I walked faster.

"So last time we played here, I sung a song about a girl. Who remembers that?" some people in the crowd screamed, I wanted to scream too because of course I remembered; I was the girl. Billie laughed before he began to speak again, oh that laugh. "Well here's another song to do with that girl that I just wrote so it isn't perfect yet." He warned before launching into a song.

"I don't know you
But I think I hate you.
You're the reason for my misery
Stranger you've become my biggest enemy
And I've never even seen your face.

Maybe it's just jealousy
Mixed up with a violent mind
A circumstance that doesn't make much sense
Or maybe I'm just dumb

You're the cloud hanging out over my head
Hail comes crashing down welting my face
Magic man, egocentric plastic man
Yet you still got one over on me

Maybe it's just jealousy
Mixed up with a violent mind
A circumstance that doesn't make much sense
Or maybe I'm just dumb

I'm a chump."

When he finished the song I was back behind the bar but staring up at the man on stage. He was staring right back at me the whole time, well at least I think he was staring at me as best he could since it was so dark. I had no idea what the song had to do with me; I wasn't a guy and I didn't have a boyfriend for Billie Joe to be jealous of. For the rest of their performance I was left wondering what it was about. Cam was getting pretty pissed at me because he had to do everything but I didn't care. The moment they left the stage I told Cam I needed to go to the toilet again and took off to find Billie, I was going to find out what the song was about.

I went to the back where the bands would go before they went on but only Tre was there from Green Day, the rest were from Operation Ivy.

"Why, hello, Sexy Lady!" Tre said, jumping up and down on the spot when he seen me.

"Hello, Sexy Drummer. I would love to stay and chat but I need to talk to your friend." I said, looking around the room again to make sure he wasn't here. "Can you tell me where he is?"

"Beej?" I nodded. "Out the back smoking, you might not want to go out there." He was right, I didn't, not when I was so worked up and he was most likely smoking pot so yeah, bad idea.

"Okay, well maybe you can help me," I started. "What the hell was that song about?" I demanded.

"The one that had something to do with you?" I nodded. "Well, Billie should be the one to explain it, it's from the inner workings of his twister mind." I glared at him; he seemed to notice that I wasn't in the mood for their games. "Okay, okay! Well, Monday- I think it was Monday, Beej and I came around to see if you were okay because we hadn't seen you and to be honest, Beej was worried." He stopped and waited for me to say something.

"What do you want me to say? Why didn't you come? And what does this have to do with the song?" I asked, looking at the door waiting for it to open and reveal Billie but it never did.

"Well we came all the way to the apartment but we seen you had ...company." He paused again.

"Why do you keep stopping and there was nobody with me on Monday."

"Yeah there was," he nodded his head while I shook mine. "We saw him, standing at your door, banging on it and yelling at you to let him in." It suddenly dawned on me that they had seen Cameron. I started laughing. "This isn’t funny, girl. Billie is so damn pissed at you, I wouldn't go as far to say that he hates you but he's pissed majorly at you right now."

"Tre. That was my brother." I told him still laughing.

"Don't try and lie about this!" He snapped, we were completely alone now. "This guy was around our age, your brother is like fifteen."

I shook my head. "No he was only sixteen. He's here right now if you want to meet him, he'll tell you that I locked him out on Tuesday night."

"Lets go meet the famous sibling than shall we." Tre smirked thinking he'd just caught me out on a lie. I nodded and led the way to the bar. "No shit!" Tre yelled once he seen Cameron. "It's him! Wait 'till Beej hears this; he'll feel like such a douche."

Cam was looking at Tre funny. "Oh Cam, this is-"

Tre interrupted me. "Let's do this the fun way." He whispered before turning to Cam. "Hello, I'm Frank Edwin Wright III. It's nice to meet you Cam." Cam looked at his weird.

"It's nice to meet you too, Frank." He replied hesitantly.

"It's Frank Edwin Wright III but I'll let it slide that time." He winked at Cam and put his arm around my shoulders. "So how long is young Cam staying with you Miss Karmony?"

"Dude, cut the act. He's probably going to hate Berkeley by the time he goes home to Jersey; everybody that he has met has scared the shit out of him."

"What act, Miss?" I wanted to slap Tre and I think he could tell by the look on my face. "'Kay, I'll stop now.”

I let Tre and Cam talk for a while, while I watched Operation Ivy. It was the first time I'd actually listened to them and they were pretty good, I now know why everybody liked them so much.

I noticed that the guys were no longer talking. I turned my head to see that Billie and Mike had came to find Tre and were talking to him at the other end of the bar. "What happened?" I asked Cam who was glaring down at Billie Joe who was returning the gesture. "Cam, snap out of it." I demanded,

He looked at me, his glare softening. "Sorry but that guy is an asshole." he grumbled, talking about Billie.

"He's not that bad." I defended the boy who had now turned his glare towards me. Cam looked at me like he couldn't believe I'd just said that. "What? He isn't."

Cam opened his mouth to say something but he was interrupted by Tre.

"And Billie sees the light!" he yelled as he put his arm around my shoulders.

"What?" I asked, confused.

He sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. "I had to explain to him who Cam here really is, he didn't believe me at first and it took a lot of persuasion to get him to stop the glare but I got him too, nobody can resist Tre Cool."

"I don't know what you getting him to stop glaring at us and you being irresistible but I'll just nod my head and smile." I said.

Billie and Mike were standing behind Tre looking between Cameron and I and whispering to each other, Cam didn't seem to notice since he was too busy hitting on some girls that looked almost twice his age.

"Hey guys." I said when they looked at me again. They looked like two little kids who got caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

"Hi." Mike said, while Billie just stared at me. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Been busy with the kid." I told him, indicating towards Cam. "Do you guys want anything?" I asked them as I went around to my side of the bar.

"Can I have a coke?" Billie asked.

"Make that two." Mike said.

"Why don't you have beer?" Tre whined.

I rolled my eyes and from the looks on Billie and Mike's faces this wasn't the first time he'd asked this question. "It's an alcohol free venue, Tre, plus I'm not old enough to give it to you and you're not 21 anyway."

"That's stupid."

"Get over it man." Billie said before turning to me. "Can I talk to you?" I nodded as I handed him and Mike their drinks.

I led him into the office. "So..." I said when he didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry for automatically jumping to the conclusion that you two were dating but in my defense he's a big sixteen-year-old." I just stared blankly at him. "And I'm sorry about the song." he rushed out. Tre must have said something about the song.

"Do you always do that?" He looked confused about what I was talking about. "Write songs about personal things? And play them for the world?" I explained.

"Yes, I always have and I always will." He answered honestly.

"Can you stop associating me to them? It makes me really uncomfortable not knowing that it is going to happen or what the song is written about. Like tonight, I was thoroughly confused as to what the song had to do with me and why you were pissed off at me."

"I'm sorry for that." he said sincerely. "But you have to admit 'Chump' is a good song."

I thought about it for a minute, it did sound good if you take out the part that it was about my brother, before nodding slowly. "That is true. If you ever wrote a good song about me I might let you tell people who it's about."

"And what would the fun in that be?" he asked, laughing. I fake glared at him before punching his shoulder softly.

"Jerk."

"So friends again?" he asked, looking at his hands.

"Friends." I agreed as I reached over and pulled him into a hug. As I went to pull away though, he grabbed my face and pushed his lips softly to mine. I wanted to kiss him so bad but if I did it would give him the impression that I was ready for a relationship, which I wasn't. So I done the hardest and most hurtful thing I could have ever done; I pushed against his chest to get him to move away from me before slapping him hard across the face. "Don't. Ever. Kiss. Me. Again." I said through my teeth before stomping out of the room and marching to where Cam, Tre and Mike were. "You can have a break kid." I told Cam as I hurried around to all the slightly pissed off customers.

Billie came out a little bit later and told the other two that he was going to leave. I could hear them asking him why and I knew that he said something about me but I didn't dare to turn around and demand to know what he'd said.