Playing With Fire

The next day, Nick had a doctor’s appointment, so I was left alone until the late afternoon. Mrs. Jonas drove him to the doctor’s office after breakfast and Mr. Jonas took little Frankie to the park across the street. Nick almost got down to beg on his knees so his mom would let me tag along, but she insisted on me staying home to rest. I knew her intentions were nothing but benevolent, but she didn’t know what happened to me when Nick left – I was vulnerable to the vindictive memory and the hole in my chest would be ripped apart until he was back at my side. But I made a decision to be strong.

I was home alone with goofball Joe and guitar-obsessed Kevin. Kev stayed in his room for most of the day, writing songs and practicing with his Gibson, but Joe kept me company down in the basement and thanks to whoever invented text-messaging, I was never far from Nick.

Joe and I were watching Twilight downstairs. Joe was shocked when I told him I’d never heard of it before, so he insisted on watching it. From the moment it began, I fell in love with it. I made a note to self: read the books as soon as possible.

But there was one scene that triggered it – Bella had just bought the Quileute Legends book and was walking around in the streets after dark when a group of guys came to find her, trying to get her to do what they wanted her to do. I had to force myself to tear my eyes from the screen before I started to cry. Guys like that were monsters; completely consumed with an obsession of sex. They gave such a beautiful expression of love a despicable name. It made me nauseous to think of it.

All of a sudden, my cell phone vibrated in my hand. It was a text-message from Nick. “Are you okay?” he asked. It was like he was right there with me in the room. And the bizarre twist was that the second I felt the vibration, Edward Cullen came to Bella’s rescue. It was a sign.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I typed into my phone with the keyboard, “I miss you,” I clicked “send.”

“I miss you, too,” he replied in less than a minute, “What are you up to?”

“Watching Twilight with Joe,”

“Ah. Kev, too?”

“Nah. Guitar,”

“Thought so. He’s so determined about this record deal thing. Ugh, listen babe, I gotta go. I’ll be home soon. I love you,”

I didn’t want Nick to go, but I reminded myself of my goal. Be strong.

“Okay. I love you. xox,” I finally replied.

I shut my phone, turning on the key guard, and set it aside. I turned my attention back to the movie. Edward and Bella were in the restaurant, talking. Joe was sitting on the floor with his back turned to me, hugging a pillow. He looked like he was wiping his eyes.

“Joe?” I asked him apprehensively, “Are you crying?”

“No…” he replied, straightening his back and trying to look macho.

“You know, only real men cry,” I said.

“I was crying!” he yelled.

I laughed and moved to sit down beside him. “Joe, do you think I’m crazy?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he replied, “Crazy for liking my brother,”

I smiled. “I love your brother,” I said, reaching up to my neck to hold the heart-in-a-heart pendant Nick had given me in my hand.

“Gag,” Joe exclaimed. I laughed. “Nah, of course I don’t think you’re crazy, Kara. Why would you think that?”

“A lot of people seem to think I am,” I replied, looking down and twiddling my thumbs.

Joe put his arm around me and pulled me close. “Some people are just jerks. Ignore them,” he said, “And if that doesn’t work, we can always throw them down a hole or something,”

I burst out laughing. “What? Joe, you’re so weird,”

“I know,” he said proudly.

“GUYS! GUYS!” We heard Kevin yell from upstairs, “I figured out the perfect final song for the album!” He ran down the stairs three steps at a time and sat down on the carpet beside us.

“Alright, shoot,” Joe said to his older brother. Kevin began playing a string of chords and shifted to a beautiful guitar chorus. Kevin made playing the guitar look so easy. His fingers danced over the strings and it was easy to tell that he put his heart into every single note.

When it was over, I smiled. “That was great, Kev,” I said.

“Yeah. Genius,” Joe agreed, “But one problem. Where are the lyrics?”

“Um, yeah, about that…” Kevin hesitated, “I was hoping Nick could do that part,”

“What part?” I heard a familiar voice say. I turned to the stairs and saw Nick walking down towards us. “Hey, baby,” he said to me, smiling. He came and sat down next to me.

“Kevin here wrote a new song,” said Joe.

“Seriously?” Nick replied with wide eyes, “So all we need to do is record and the album’s done? Sweet!”

“No, not sweet,” Joe pointed out, “It’s just an instrumental. No words yet,”

“Ugh,” Nick groaned loudly and laid down flat on the floor.

“What’s the matter?” I asked, confused.

“Recording an album is a blast, but it’s some hard work,” Nick answered, “Our deadline is in less than two weeks and we still need to write and record one last song,”

“Oh,” I said, “Well, don’t worry. You guys can do it. Kevin’s got a great base, and now all you need is the vocal part,”

“Yeah, and Nick can do that part perfectly,” said Joe.

“Why me?” Nick objected.

“Dude, you’re like a songwriting expert,” Kevin exclaimed. He turned to look at me. “He wrote SOS in ten minutes,” he said, flashing me all ten fingers.

“Wow,” I whispered. My boyfriend was a true artist.

“Alright, alright. I’ll go write the song,” Nick said, jumping up on his feet and turning to help me stand.

“Why are you taking her?” Joe asked sadly, “We were bonding,”

“’Cause she’s my inspiration,”

Nick held my hand and took me upstairs to his bedroom, shutting the door and grabbing some paper and a pen. He sat against his pillows and I sat beside him. He began jotting down ideas, one after the other, then scratching out the ones he didn’t like and singing to himself when the words fit. The look on his face was mesmerizing – watching him work fascinated me. He was concentrating so hard and his eyes sparkled with excitement every time he thought of a new idea. He was working diligently, never stopping the pen or his genius brain. The most shocking part was that every few seconds, he glanced over at me, like an artist painting a portrait. He looked deep into my eyes until something sparked in his head.

Finally, the song was finished. He let the pen fall and held the notebook close to his face to read it over. I glanced over at the clock. It had been seven minutes.

“It’s about you,” he said, turning towards me and smiling. He weighed the notebook in his hands and reached out to me. He pulled me to him and held me in his arms. He handed me the notebook after placing a kiss on the top of my head. I took a deep breath and began reading the seven minute song.

If the heart is always searching,
Can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone,
I'll never make it on my own.
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

How long will I be waiting,
To be with you again
Gonna tell you that I love you,
In the best way that I can.
I can't take a day without you here,
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

More and more, I start to realize,
I can reach my tomorrow,
I can hold my head high,
And it's all because you're by my side.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When I hold you in my arms
I know that it's forever
I just gotta let you know
I never wanna let you go

Cause when you look me in the eyes.

And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

By the time I finished reading, I had tears in my eyes. I looked up at Nick’s serene face. “I love you,” I said, pulling him as close to me as possible, “So much,” I kissed him gently.

Nick and I later presented the song to Kevin and Joe and they absolutely adored it. It was set that they would go down to the recording studio next week to finalize the album.

“Now, you guys have to leave,” Kevin said out of the blue.

“Uh, why?” I asked him, confused.

“’Cause...you’re a couple…now go do couple stuff…or something…,” Joe spoke up shyly.

“Joe, you hate that me and Nick are a couple,” I replied.

“Just go!” Joe yelled, practically pushing the two of us up the stairs and out the door.

“Can I at least get my shoes!?” I asked loudly, banging on the door. It swung open and out flew my neon green Chucks. “Uh, thanks?” I said and the door closed shut once again.

I stomped over to my shoes, which were conveniently placed about twenty yards away from each other, and slipped them onto my feet.

“Your brothers are crazy,” I said to Nick who was laughing his head off watching me from the front porch.

“They kicked us out for the shower,” he said, still snickering to himself. He walked over to me and helped me sit down on the cement sidewalk. He got down on his knees and tied my shoelaces for me.

“Thank you,” I said when he was finished.

“Any time,” he replied sweetly. He took my hand and pulled me up into his arms against his chest – my favorite spot.

“So, what do you want to do?” he asked me. I felt his body vibrate gently as he spoke. “We’ve got an hour to kill,” he said, glancing at the silver watch on his wrist.

“Anything,” I replied. As long as he was around, I didn’t care what we did.

“Wanna go to the park?”

“Sure,” I nodded. He intertwined our hands and began to walk across the street. The park was filled with little kids making the most of their summer vacation, but we managed to find an unoccupied swing in the corner, away from most of the noise. I took a seat on it and Nick began to push me casually.

As I watched the happy kids running around playing with each other, my hand found its way to Layla. In a few years, she would be old enough to play tag and go down slides. I smiled at the thought. I pictured myself helping her onto the monkey bars and then Nick teaching her how to play baseball. It was such a peaceful picture.

I felt Nick stop pushing and come around to look me in the eye. He put his hands on each side of the swing and asked, “What are you thinking, love?”

I smiled. “Will you teach Layla how to play baseball?”

He flashed me a gorgeous grin. “Of course,” he said.

“’Kay,” I replied, satisfied.

We spent another fifteen minutes swinging and talking about Layla, until it started to rain. It started off as a light drizzle, nothing to worry about, but before we knew it, rain was pouring down in buckets and we were completely drenched. Every kid ran home with their parents and Nick began to laugh.

“It’s just our luck,” he said, chuckling.

“I dunno, I’ve always liked the rain,” I said back.

I wriggled out of the rubber swing and spun myself around, running my hands over my hair. I felt the raindrops land on my bare skin and my t-shirt and shorts were sopping. The sound of the rain hitting the pavement was relaxing and my shoes sunk into the damp woodchips of the playground. Through everything uncertain in my life, rain was one thing I could be sure about – it existed, no doubt about it, and no one could stop it. Ever. It came and went whenever it pleased. Rain was free. Rain was sent from God.

And so was Nick.

He walked over and wrapped his arms around me from behind, placing both hands on Layla and kissing my shoulder. I looked at him sideways.

My breath was practically knocked out of my chest. He was stunning.

Rain was falling down his face, making his thick hair stick to his head and fall into his auburn eyes. Drops of rain were slowly moving down his dark curls and they resembled tiny diamonds in the glare of the bright streetlights. The trails they left behind on his face traced his every feature – his almond-shaped eyes, his straight chiseled nose, right down to his full parted lips.

The sight was remarkable.

I turned myself around to touch him. His shirt was completely soaked, accenting his muscular biceps. I took his beautiful face in my hands. I ran my fingers through his wet curls, letting the diamonds fall down his face faster. I couldn’t make myself believe that he was really there. He looked like an angel. I let my fingers trace over his features, convinced that if I could touch him, he was real. My fingertips outlined his cheekbones, his nose, lingering on his lips as he smiled at me warmly, stroking my cheek with his hand. I leaned in slowly and kissed him lovingly. Our lips were wet and I could taste the rain on my tongue. He pulled me closer to him, holding my face steady in his hands. I had kissed Nick countless times before – every single time was mind-blowing – but nothing could have prepared me for that. It couldn’t have been simpler, yet it was one hundred and ten percent perfect; just me and him standing in the pouring rain surrounded by swings and slides and the like. Our lips were dancing, and I had never been more at ease.

He skipped to the next step swiftly, kissing along my jaw and then down my neck. I closed my eyes as I felt his lips touch my skin and new rain fall on my face. It gave me goose bumps and a shiver ran through my body. He pressed me against him to keep me warm.

“Let’s get you inside before you catch a cold,” he whispered into my ears. He placed one last kiss on my cheek and took my hand before we set off towards the house. It pained me to pull away from him, but I knew it wouldn’t be long before I could have him in my arms once again.

“JOE! LET US IN!” Nick yelled as he banged on the door of the house.

“You’re half an hour early!” Joe bellowed back from inside.

“It’s storming! Kara’s gonna get sick!” I opened my mouth to object, but another shiver crawled up my spine, making my teeth chatter.

“Fine,” Joe replied, unlocking the door and letting us inside, “Just don’t go in the living room or the basement yet,”

“Gladly,” Nick said, taking my hand and leading me upstairs. He sat me down on his bed and wrapped a towel around my shoulders.

“Th-th-thank y-you,” I said, shaking. He smiled and kissed my forehead before running out to grab another towel for himself. When he turned, he dug through his drawers to pull out two sweatshirts and two pairs of shorts.

“You can wear these,” he said, running the towel through his curls.

I smiled. “I-I l-love y-you,” I responded.

He paused and smiled, looking me deep in the eyes, “I love you, too,” he said, “Now change,” He grabbed one of the sweatshirts and a pair of shorts and escaped to the bathroom to dry off and change his clothes.

I stood up slowly. My clothes were freezing against my skin thanks to the air conditioning blowing from the vents and I received a new set of goose bumps all over my body as I peeled the t-shirt and shorts off. I quickly ran the towel over my body to dry the water droplets and slipped into Nick’s clothes, beyond satisfied when I took in his sweet scent once again.

“You done?” I heard Nick ask from the hallway.

“Mhmm,” I responded, warm and snug in his sweatshirt. He walked into the room and saw me smile.

“What?” he asked.

“We match,” He and I both had on a gray sweatshirt and black shorts, except the shorts went further down my leg than they did on him and though my sweatshirt was oversized, Layla filled it out much more than she did a month ago. Nick looked me up and down and smiled, leaning in to kiss me.

“Time for the shower,” I said, smiling. Nick looked down at me in shock, eyebrows raised and with a smile etched across his face. “What?” I asked. Then I got it.

“The baby shower, you perv!” I said laughing.

He chuckled. “Darn,” I hit him playfully.

We made our way downstairs and into the living room, where the rest of the Jonases jumped up, yelling “SURPRISE!” I grinned and tried my best to act surprised. Everyone seemed to buy it at first, but Joe was suspicious.

“Aw, Nick! You told her!” he shouted, smacking his little brother upside the head.

“HEY!” Nick yelled in defense, rubbing the back of his head and punching Joe in the arm.

“How’d you know?” I asked.

“C’mon, Kara. I told you you’re my sister,” Joe said, “Besides, you’re a terrible liar,”

I smiled. Joe sat me down on the leather couch and I took a look around. Everything was pink – pink balloons, pink streamers, a pink tablecloth draped over the coffee table. They had all done a spectacular job. I felt beyond special.

“Here, open this one first,” Mrs. Jonas said excitedly, pointing to a huge box in the corner complete with pink wrapping paper and a giant pink bow. This ultimately started the opening-presents portion of the shower and I must’ve unwrapped twenty gifts that night. I got a stroller with a built-in carrier from Mr. and Mrs. Jonas and countless bottles, diapers, and baby clothes from Kevin, Joe, and Frankie. There were even sets of baby wipes, bottles of powder, and everything I needed to keep Layla healthy. I thanked everyone with a warm hug. The amount of love the Jonas family had given me was off the scale. I couldn’t have been more grateful.

“This is part one of mine,” Nick said to me in the end, handing me a thin square-shaped box. I tore off the pink paper and found a CD with “Layla” written on it in pink Sharpie. “They’re her songs,” he said, smiling, “The ones I sing to her to make her kick,”

I was speechless. Tears rimmed my eyes and I pulled him into a hug, not being able to express my great gratitude towards him in words. He was far too good to me. He loved Layla so much.

“Part two is downstairs,” he said when I let go, taking my hand and helping me stand up. The rest of the family followed close behind as Nick led me down to the basement in front of a door that used to be Mr. Jonas’s office. Joe put his hands over my eyes as I heard the door swing open. His hands slowly moved away, allowing me to finally see what was behind the door.

My heart stopped.

Mr. Jonas’s office had been transformed into the most beautiful nursery I had every laid eyes on. The walls were all painted baby pink and the carpet matched. There was a gorgeous white crib against the far wall, complete with a pink mobile and a quilt stitched together by Mrs. Jonas. A changing table sat in the corner, opposite from the matching white dresser with drawers for clothes and diapers. The walls were filled with pictures of me and the family, and above the crib, “Layla” was spelled out in white bubble letters. There was a waist-high humidifier beside the door and nightlights in the shapes of butterflies and hearts made the room dim and relaxing. I stepped inside and brought both of my hands to Layla.

It was absolutely amazing.

I turned around to look at my family from heaven as tears fell down my cheeks. They were all smiling back at me – the picture warmed my heart. I sighed and took a few steps towards them, pulling each one of them into a group hug.

In everyone’s arms, I took a second to look up and thank God for putting the Jonas family into my life – they were my guardian angels and I was forever grateful for them.