Playing With Fire

When they say “time flies”, they’re not kidding. I was in sheer disbelief on the morning of July sixteenth when Kevin finally convinced me that it was, in fact, July sixteenth. I had been with the Jonases for almost three months, with Nick for two and a half, and with Layla for seven.

From December to May, my days were never-ending and boundless – sometimes it would feel as though the sun was never going to set, the snow would never melt, the flowers would never bloom… But when I moved in with my angels, every day was a blessing. The hours flew by because I was just so peaceful – every member of the Jonas family gave off this strange vibe that eased me. Every night, I’d lay against Nick’s beating heart and pray to God that the feeling would never go away.

“Tomorrow’s a big day!” Joe exclaimed, plopping down on my bed in the basement. It was six o’clock in the evening and I was fulfilling the goal I made for myself – reading Twilight – in bed. Layla had been kicking harder than usual and Mrs. Jonas was forcing me to lay down for the rest of the day, which isn’t really so bad when you’ve got Edward Cullen and Bella Swan to keep you company.

“Aren’t you gonna ask me why tomorrow’s a big day?” Joe asked me when I didn’t respond. I was too engrossed by the book to focus on anything other than turning to the next page as fast as I could.

“Okay, then,” Joe finally said, “I guess it is kind of my fault for making you watch the movie. But no worries. Ahem,” he cleared his throat loudly and said in a high-pitched, girly voice, “Oh, I don’t know, Joe. Why is tomorrow a big day?”

He switched back to his normal voice and said, “Well, Kara, tomorrow we record the last song for the album and it’s also your sweet sixteen,”

Girl Joe once again. “Oh, Joe, you’re just the sweetest thing for remembering! I love you so much more than Nick!”

I peered up at him from the book, squinting my eyes, and then noticed Nick standing in the doorway of the bathroom witnessing Joe having a conversation with himself, completely weirded out.

His expression was priceless.

I burst out laughing.

Joe cleared his throat, grinned innocently at his brother, and waved quickly, making me laugh so hard that tears filled my eyes.

“What are you…? Never mind, I don’t wanna know,” said Nick, shaking his head and walking out of the bathroom. He walked over to me and kissed my temple, smiling at me warmly.

“Hello, beautiful,” he said.

“At least wait until I walk away!” Joe exclaimed, hopping off my bed and running upstairs. I laughed.

“Hey,” I said, turning my attention back to Nick.

“So, I was thinking…” he began.

“Kara! Could you come up here, please?” I heard Mrs. Jonas yell from upstairs. Nick let out a deep sigh.

“Hold that thought,” I said to him, stroking his cheek and closing the book. Nick nodded and wrapped an arm around me to help me stand up. I pressed my lips to his briefly and walked up the stairs to meet Mrs. Jonas.

I checked the kitchen first, expecting to see her fixing dinner or doing dishes. The stainless steel oven was on and covered pots were simmering on the stove, making the room smell of fragrant steak and potatoes, but Mrs. Jonas was nowhere to be found. I moved to the dining room where Joe, Kevin, and Frankie were playing a game of Monopoly on the table – this time, Joe was making up for his Guitar Hero losses.

I finally found Mrs. Jonas in the living room, sitting on the couch next to her husband.

“Oh, Kara, sweetie, come and have a seat,” she cooed, motioning to the loveseat across from the couch. I complied and sat down, wondering what it was that they wanted to talk to me about.

“Paul and I were talking,” she began, “And we love having you here, we really do. Absolutely adore it,”

Great, they were kicking me out. I knew the offer was too good to last.

“And since you’re part of this family now permanently, Paul and I like to think of you as our own child,” she continued, “Now honey, I know this is tough to talk about, but…” she paused, “Did your mom ever file a police report about what happened?” Denise Jonas reached over and touched my knee with a soft, gentle hand.

My body froze. When I informed my mom that I had been raped, she hadn’t said a word. She had been completely silent for weeks – never saying more than two words to me. I’d never understood why, but then Mikenna’s visit made everything clear.

“No, she didn’t…” I said slowly.

Mrs. Jonas looked at me with sympathetic eyes.

“Think about it, Kara,” Mr. Jonas spoke up for the first time, “It might seem like a scary thought now, but doing so would prevent this from happening to someone else,”

I nodded. They had a point. But it would be gut wrenchingly painful to talk about it to someone else – to relive the memory I had tried so hard to hinder. I told Denise and Paul – and myself – that I would think about it.

------------------------------------------------

I woke up the next morning to Nick, Kevin, and Joe singing “Happy Birthday” in a perfect harmony at the edge of my bed. All three of them were wearing their pajamas with lopsided party hats on their heads and light-up noisemakers in their hands that they blew when they were finished. I clapped and cheered at their performance when they were finished.

“Thanks, guys,” I said, getting up and hugging each of them, “That was amazing,”

“No problemo, Birthday Girl,” Kevin replied, grinning.

The boys wouldn’t tell me what they had planned later on that day, but I knew we all had to leave the house by eleven to get to the recording studio. They insisted that the rest was a surprise.

After kissing Nick good morning, I escaped to the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed. I picked out my best outfit – a bright pink maternity dress and white flats – and did my makeup extra special, working up my eyes more than usual. My hair was relatively easy to tame. I had long, dark brown curls and they usually behaved, thank goodness. When I felt ready to go, I flew open the bathroom door and found an empty basement.

I walked around, wondering where the boys had gone. I even checked the nursery, but no Jonas boy was in sight. I sighed and turned around, convinced that they were all upstairs. But before I reached the staircase, I found Nick standing in front of me, completely awestruck.

His eyes were gleaming and the ends of his mouth were slowly curling up into a smile.

“You look beautiful,” he said, grinning.

I blushed and shifted my weight to one foot. “Thank you,” I replied, smiling.

He made the space between us disappear and wrapped his arms around me, digging his face into my hair and kissing my shoulder. “I love you,” he said.

I ran my hands up and down his back. “I love you, too.”

In a matter of minutes, we were all seated and buckled into the SUV, ready to get to the recording studio. We were just waiting on Joe, who decided that that was the day he would spend forever on his hair.

When Joe finally ran downstairs and got into the car, we set off for Trenton – New Jersey’s capital. Because of the traffic, it took about an hour and a half. Nick helped me out of the car and intertwined our fingers as we walked towards a tall, silver building named Gold Star Studios.

“During those five months were weren’t in school,” Nick explained as he opened the door for me and walked inside, “We were here, writing and recording the rest of the album. Mom and Dad got us a tutor so we wouldn’t flunk out,” He paused, “I tried to call and explain, but your mom…” he whispered into my ear, trailing off. I nodded, letting him know that I understood.

We walked down a hallway in the building and it was dazzling – the carpet was a beautiful crimson color and the walls were gold, filled with pictures of famous musicians: The Beatles, Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson… At the end of the hallway, there was a door. Mr. Jonas opened it for all of us and we walked into another long, horizontal hallway. Then, we reached the studio. It was divided into two sections – one was soundproof, surrounded by glass walls and equipped with microphones and two guitars, and the other was surrounded by black leather stools and tables full of buttons and switches. It looked so complicated and professional. I was afraid to touch anything.

“Okay, guys, get started and I’ll go get John,” said Mr. Jonas as he left the room with his wife.

Nick helped me into one of the stools and started getting things together with his brothers. He and Kevin began tuning the guitars while Joe tested the microphones, making sure they were all functioning.

Mr. Jonas returned with a tall, muscular man with blonde hair and glasses, introducing him as John Fields, the boys’ producer. John shook hands and hugged each of the boys.

“This is Kara,” Nick said, motioning to me and smiling.

“Hello, Kara,” John said to me, shaking my hand and grinning. “Alright, guys. Let’s get to work, shall we?”

Mr. and Mrs. Jonas escaped to another room, apparently to sign some papers regarding the boys’ album, which would be conveniently titled “Jonas Brothers.” The boys walked into the soundproof room, shutting the door behind them, and walked up to the microphones. Nick and Kevin both picked up guitars and John pulled up another stool beside me and sat at one of the tables with the intricate, scary looking buttons.

“Ready when you are,” John spoke into a microphone.

The boys nodded and Nick counted them off: “Two, three, four…”

Nick, Joe, and Kevin first recorded a rough, acoustic version of the song for basics. The song touched me – hearing the lyrics that Nick had written especially for me put into song was beautiful. I looked at him lovingly and he grinned at me in response.

The five of us spent the next three hours playing back recording after recording, editing the boys’ voices, and adding in different instrumentals. By three o’clock, we had the perfect version of “When You Look Me in the Eyes.”

Kevin, Joe, and John high-fived each other as Nick pulled me into a hug, kissing my forehead. John shot us a questioning look and Kevin told him they’d explain later – my guess was that John thought it was Nick’s baby and that would affect their deal, but everything was fine when the boys clarified.

After a late lunch delivered by Domino’s, the boys signed some paperwork and finalized their album – words couldn’t explain how thrilled they were. I had never seen them so happy. It brought a smile to my face.

Walking out of Gold Star Studios with the boys was so different from walking in. I felt like I was walking with rock stars.

After an hour and a half of belting out songs from the boys’ demo version of their album in the car, we all arrived home. But we weren’t getting out of the car just yet.

Kevin jumped out of the SUV and ran into the house, almost tripping on the garden hose. He returned with a red bandana and a plastic silver tiara. I laughed as Nick set the tiara on top of my head and Joe tied the bandana around my eyes.

“What are you guys doing?” I asked in between laughs.

“Well, you’re the birthday girl, so you need your crown,” I heard Nick answer, kissing my cheek.

“And you can’t see where we’re taking you. So don’t peek,” said Joe.

I laughed. “Okay,” I said. I sat back against the seat and felt Nick pull me into his arms against his chest – he knew it was my favorite place to be.

I heard Mr. Jonas turn the key in the ignition and the engine revved up once again. We pulled out of the driveway and I focused on listening to Nick’s heart as the Jonases drove to their surprise destination.

Nick’s heart was relaxed as he ran his hand up and down my arm. His touch was soothing and I paid no attention to the ride. I was completely at ease.

After what seemed like just five minutes, the car came to a gentle stop.

“We’re here already?” I asked.

“Kara, it’s been like, forty five minutes,” I heard Kevin say.

“Oh. Weird,” I replied. I felt Nick’s chest vibrate as he chuckled.

I felt the two side doors of the SUV open and the boys helped me out. Nick took my hand in his and either Joe or Kevin held my other hand, leading me wherever we were going. I felt grass underneath my feet at first, then a hard sidewalk. I walked clumsily and blindly, trusting Nick and his brothers not to let me fall – I was already naturally unbalanced.

“Ow, Kara,” said Joe painfully. Apparently, I had stepped on his foot.

“Sorry, Joe,”

I heard a door open and close, and I was suddenly in a cold room – air-conditioned, I guessed.

“Okay, Kara,” I heard Nick say as he reached behind my head to untie the bandana, “Welcome to the Escopazzo,” he said in an Italian accent. I laughed as the bandana was slowly peeled off my face and the restaurant came into view.

It was breathtaking.

There were colorful flowers, lavish ice sculptures, and beautiful fountains everywhere I turned. The tables were dressed with black silk tablecloths, clear wine glasses, and white square-shaped plates, with a bouquet of roses at the center. Mr. Jonas informed the hostess of a reservation and she led us to a table for six at the very back. It was so elegant and romantic that it blew my mind.

Nick pulled out a chair for me and I smiled as I sat down. I felt so out of place – this was a restaurant made for heiresses and royalty, not a small town Jersey girl like me. But hey, I wasn’t complaining.

We ordered our food and began talking. It was a celebration of my sixteenth, but we were also commemorating the boys’ first album. It was such a huge triumph and I was so proud of them.

“You know, I always knew you guys would be famous,” I said to the boys, taking a bite of my Caesar salad.

They laughed. “We’re not famous yet, Kara,” Kevin said as he took a sip of his water.

“Not yet. But you will be,” I replied, “That album is incredible. And I’m not just saying that,”

The boys blushed. “We just hope everyone else feels the same way,” Nick said, smiling.

We moved onto the main course in no time. Nick and I both ordered steaks, medium rare. Joe and Kevin both got some fancy pasta dish and Mr. and Mrs. Jonas got two game hens. When the food arrived, it almost looked too pretty to eat.

“Kara, I just want to say…” Mrs. Jonas said as she set down her knife and fork and looked at me with sparkling eyes, “That we are all so very proud of you. I remember when you were just four years old, running around in our yard with Nicholas. You were always such a happy child, always looking for the best of things. We always knew you would grow up and do wonderful things in life,” She paused, “The way you’ve handled this situation is astonishing. You’ve been mature and so very strong, and we are proud and honored to call you a part of this family,” She ended with a warm smile.

I grinned back at her and Mr. Jonas raised his glass. “To Kara,” he said.

I shook my head. “No,” I said, smiling, “To the album,” I raised my half-drunk glass of water.

Joe butted in with a mouthful of pasta, yelling “To food!” and we toasted to that, laughing our heads off.

When everyone’s glass touched the table once again, Nick turned to me and took my hand. “I have something for you,” he said.

“Nick, you love me. There’s nothing more that you could give me,” I said, smiling.
“No, there is,” he said, grinning and sneaking a glance at his parents, who smiled warmly back at him. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a tiny black box, setting it on the table in front of me.

“Kara, you’re amazing,” he began, taking my hand and looking into my eyes, “I love you and I want you to be in my life forever,”

My heart began to speed up. “I love you, too,” I replied skeptically. His eyes drifted towards the box. I weighed it in my hand and slipped my finger under the lid, opening it. Inside was a silver ring with a band made of diamonds, all wrapped around a heart. I brought my hand to my chest and struggled to breath. Tears circled my eyes. It was beautiful.

“It’s a promise ring,” Nick said to me. I turned to him with wide, blurry eyes and for a moment thought I couldn’t speak. The smile on his face was so sweet, it made my heart beat twice as fast as it did before.

“I love you,” I managed to say, leaning into him to kiss his lips and ignoring the rest of the world around us.

He was mine.

Forever.