Countdown to Self-Destruct
TWO
(NO SUBJECT)
From: Ryan Ross (iamthewalrus86@hotmail.com)
Sent: Mon 7/06/09 3:26 AM
To: Ryan Ross (iamthewalrus86@hotmail.com)
well the thing is dead and so am i.......am i? am i? ami? i am,,
i dont know how it happenned but im all alone and im not okay anymore and theres noone here to help me, theres no one around to love me anymore because i pusshed them all away just like holly said i would and what teh hell am i gonna do i dont knowi never knew what i was gonna do and i still dont know im just sitting here alone in a bathtub thats not full of water with last nights clothes on and i keep thinkng about the beautiful view of la off of my balcony but it doesnt make me fel any better it just makes me want to throww myself over but i cant i cant i cant im not strong enough i have neverbeen strong enough i cant kill it i cant and my hnds are shaking too much to make the white lines and i dont want to anymore b/c who wants to die foaming at the mouth with a bloody nose not me i dont wanna die i just want everything to goback to being ok again except icant remember anything being okk ever i just keep thinking about when me and holly held hands and she told me that eveyrthing was writen in the stars and thats why wed be jst fine in the end but were not fine i said and she said i know thats because its not the end yet but what if this is the end????
im ending this now
From: Ryan Ross (iamthewalrus86@hotmail.com)
Sent: Mon 7/06/09 3:26 AM
To: Ryan Ross (iamthewalrus86@hotmail.com)
well the thing is dead and so am i.......am i? am i? ami? i am,,
i dont know how it happenned but im all alone and im not okay anymore and theres noone here to help me, theres no one around to love me anymore because i pusshed them all away just like holly said i would and what teh hell am i gonna do i dont knowi never knew what i was gonna do and i still dont know im just sitting here alone in a bathtub thats not full of water with last nights clothes on and i keep thinkng about the beautiful view of la off of my balcony but it doesnt make me fel any better it just makes me want to throww myself over but i cant i cant i cant im not strong enough i have neverbeen strong enough i cant kill it i cant and my hnds are shaking too much to make the white lines and i dont want to anymore b/c who wants to die foaming at the mouth with a bloody nose not me i dont wanna die i just want everything to goback to being ok again except icant remember anything being okk ever i just keep thinking about when me and holly held hands and she told me that eveyrthing was writen in the stars and thats why wed be jst fine in the end but were not fine i said and she said i know thats because its not the end yet but what if this is the end????
im ending this now
♠ ♠ ♠
One more chapter of this one left.