Unlucky in Love

“Oh, my God, seriously?” I hissed at him. “Don’t give me that shit, just go take care of the baby.”

“What if she needs to eat? I’m not physically capable of that one.”

I leaned my head up and glared at him. I had a headache, I was getting over a sore throat, and I’ve gotten up every freaking night since Emma’s been home to take care of her. I’m sorry, but isn’t Dominic supposed to help too, or is it just a fallacy that men actually do anything?

Shaking my head, I got out of bed and left the room, slamming the door behind me. Her cries got louder and louder as I walked to her room, and then she calmed down when I went in and picked her up. I changed her, which was something that totally grossed me out but I had to do, and when I was feeding her, Dominic walked in.

I looked at him tiredly. “Just go back to bed, I’ve got this.”

“Ember…”

“Dominic, please, just go. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

He sighed and walked back to our room. When Emma was done, I readjusted myself and burped her, and then put her down and waited till she fell asleep to leave.

So I guess I wasn’t a bad mom…just a really tired one.

But I guess I didn’t have anything to complain about because I knew there were a lot of people who had it much harder than me. I had a husband who loved me and loved his baby, and I had a house I didn’t have to pay the mortgage on—just the property tax, which totally sucked—and I had disposable income and a baby who didn’t cry 24/7…

Yeah, I was lucky, but it didn’t make being a new mom any easier. I didn’t really know how to take care of someone.

Maybe nobody really knew—maybe it just came with time.

And maybe I’ll learn to not want to kill Dominic whenever he pisses me off…one step at a time, I suppose.

I slid back into bed, completely ignoring Dominic when he tried to talk to me. I could tell this wasn’t going to be a very good day.

* * *

“Morning,” Dominic said when I got out of bed and downstairs to the kitchen. He was sitting down at the table, doing something on his laptop.

I got a chocolate muffin out and popped it in the microwave. “What’re you doing?” I asked, pouring a glass of milk.

He shrugged. “I started school. I’m doing internet classes until the winter quarter starts.”

I gawked at him. “You’re starting school?” I asked, and he nodded. “Wow, you could’ve told me.” I said, trying not to sound bitchy but not quite succeeding. I sighed. “Sorry, I just…I’m just really overwhelmed, and I don’t know how I can handle this much longer.”

“Handle what? We could do daycare or get a nanny so you can go to school or get a job.”

I shook my head. “There’s no way in hell I’m leaving Emma with a nanny.” I said snippily.

That was kind of the whole point of me being a stay-at-home mom, so I wouldn’t have to leave my kids with some paid stranger. But now I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want my life.

As much as I loved them, I couldn’t handle it anymore.

But I had to. I had to stick it out.

“Dominic, please, just help me out a little.” I said, taking my muffin out of the microwave and putting it on a plate. I grabbed the plate and milk and sat down at the table. “I’m not saying you don’t—I just need a little more than you taking out the trash or taking Poppy for walks or going to the store. I can’t always be the one to get up in the middle of the night with her, because I’m exhausted.”

He closed his laptop and looked at me. “What do you want me to say to that?”

I just shook my head. “Nothing. I don’t want you to say anything.” I got up and went back upstairs to my room and changed into jeans and a loose top. I grabbed my bag and sunglasses, slipped into some sandals, and went back downstairs.

“What’re you doing?” Dominic asked me.

“I’m going out. Maybe I’ll do some shopping, get my hair done…anything I want to do. You can take care of Emma.” I told him, and then went and opened the door. He shut it and turned to face me.

“You can’t just ditch me with the baby, Ember,” he said.

I actually laughed in his face. His eyes flamed. “Yes, I can. You’ve been doing it to me, so I think I deserve a little day to myself.”

He shook his head. “Can you not be selfish?” he spat.

“I’m selfish?” I hissed, and he just stared at me. “Yeah, I’m so selfish to want to spend my birthday without a baby and a stupid husband who doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself!” my voice cracked, and I swallowed.

Dominic hung his head. “It’s your birthday.” He stated, and I nodded once. “Babe, I forgot. I’m sorry.”

“No—I just need to not fight. I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to have a newborn clinging to me every minute. I just want to get my hair done, get a manicure…anything. I just don’t want to deal with this today.”

He sighed. “Okay. I’ll see you later.”

I nodded, opened the door, and then turned back. “There’s two bottles in the fridge, but if she runs out before I’m back, there’s formula in the pantry.” I told him, and he just nodded, and I walked out, feeling actually relieved that I finally had a moment to think.

…Dominic’s POV…

Emma was sleeping, and Ember had been gone almost three hours. I felt like a total asshole for snapping at her earlier, and for forgetting her birthday, and for implying that she should be the one to do everything related to the house and the baby.

I was finishing a test on my class, and then Poppy started barking and scratching at the back door. Her barking woke up Emma upstairs, and her cries were loud enough to hear without the baby monitor. I set down my computer, took in a deep breath, and then got up and let Poppy out.

Poppy bolted to the gate in the backyard, and started barking up at the neighboring tree.

I stared at the glass door, wanting to smash my head into it hard enough to pass out. I closed the door, blocking out the barking, and then went up to Emma’s room. As soon as I picked her up, she stopped crying. She didn’t need to be changed, she had eaten about an hour ago.

Did she just want attention? If that was the case then I wasn’t able to do that. I needed to finish my class and figure out what I’m going to do to make this up to Ember.

I sighed, realizing I needed some help.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket. “Daveigh?” I asked when she answered. “Help, please,”