I Hate Alex Gaskarth

The Next Day

I decided I would confront Alex…This was the most hardest part. My hands were shaking and my heart was beating so fast. I was dressed up well today because well…I didn’t want to look like a piece of white trash. I was talking to him…The Alex Gaskarth. Any girl would die to actually have a conversation with him. I know ever since last year I hated his guts…but I was pregnant with his baby and…This was serious.

I just needed to talk to him in private and tell him that I was going to get an adoption. I don’t care if he didn’t like it or not because it was my choice and…It was better this way.

I gulped and took baby steps forward to him. His back was facing me and he had his arm around Lisa's shoulders and she was laughing with Zack and Jack…Rian was over by the lockers with Kara. Of course.

I was almost to him. I could smell his fresh scent wrapping around my nose and I could hear his laugh…And his funny personality reminiscing with me.

I saw my index finger reach out as I tapped him on the shoulder. He slowly turned. It was like slow motion. The only problem is…there was no pause button. I gulped.

He was shocked that I would even have enough guts and patients to come over and speak with him. To him I was invisible…Jenny peeked her head over Lisa’s shoulder. And as soon as Jenny saw me she had a weird look on her face. Like she hated me.

I looked at Lisa who managed a half smile at me. I returned one back.

“Alex…,” I paused. “Can I speak with you over here, please?” I asked him, pointing over on the side of the hallway that was not as crowded as the other side.

“Uh, sure. Lisa, I’ll be only a sec.” He smiled his crooked smile and kissed her cheek as me and him walked over to the side of the hallway and there I met his deep brown eyes…

Those eyes could set me into a trance for hours.

“How are you?” He smiled as I gulped and fiddled with my binder and books.
“Um, I’m pretty okay. Yourself?” I asked him as he looked over at Lisa and smirked.
“I’m great.” He replied in a smooth voice as I nodded and looked down at my high tops.
“That’s nice to hear.” I muttered.
“Yeah, so…what is it?” He asked, trying to look into my eyes as I looked up into his.

“I have something important to tell you, but you have to promise me that you won’t freak.” I said as he nodded and I nibbled my lip, trying to find the words to speak.

“I promise. What is it?” He chuckled, a warm smile playing on his lips.
“I’m uh…I’m…” I didn’t know what to say.

What would he think of me? What would he say? Would he walk off? Would he laugh and ask if I was playing some sort of joke with him? What would he do?

“Your what?” He asked, that smile still playing on his lips.
“I’m…” I paused as people started scurrying around the hallways and then the bell rang.

It was time to go to class…

“Hurry up.” He chuckled, looking over at Lisa who waved at Alex and he smiled and waved back.

“Never mind…It’s uh not that important anyway.” I laughed nervously as he backed up.

“Okay then. Well, I’ll see you around.” He said, smiling at me for the first time as I nodded and gave him a half smile as his dropped.

“Yeah, see ya around.” I muttered, walking off as Troy walked down the hallway.

“Did you tell him?” Troy asked me as I shook my head and I felt tears wail up in my eyes.

“You didn’t tell him?” Troy asked in shock as I continued to shake my head.

“Class was starting and…I didn’t have enough guts.” I whispered as people passed us and Troy and me walked to our first hour where Lisa and Alex would be.

“You have plenty of time to tell him…We have the whole day.” Troy said as I gulped.

I didn’t want to tell him today. I would rather call him when I was in the delivery room popping out the thing.

“You okay, Marcy? You’re spacing out again.” Troy chuckled as I gulped and pulled myself back to earth.

“I’m fine.” I muttered as we walked into our first hour where I saw Lisa talking with some girls from the cheerleading squad and Alex had his eyes on one thing…Me.

I dazed off into his brown eyes for a second, but then I took my seat and stared up at the chalk board. Troy tapped me as I looked over at him.

“Guest speaker.” He muttered as I cocked my eyebrow and incomes the nurse…With condoms and a lab cart.

My mouth parted slightly as Troy tried holding back his laughter.

“Whooo! Condoms! Right on!” Some immature jock behind Troy yelled as Troy smirked.

“We get free condoms! I love things that are free.” Troy whisper-yelled to me as I rolled my eyes.

“You are so immature.” I whispered, shaking my head as the nurse stood in front of me and Troy since we were at the front of the class.

Just what I needed for today…A lesson on protection…but it’s too late because I already have a living thing inside of me…

“Alright, class. The school nurse, Ms. Block, is in here today to give you a lesson on…” I zoned out, staring at that little condom she pulled out of a small square black package. I stared at it long and hard as I felt my stomach churn. The room was closing in on me.

My hand shot up in the air. I was going to puke.

“May I go to the restroom?” I asked as quickly as possible as the nurse nodded and I shot up from my seat, heading out of the classroom as I heard people laughing at me.

I couldn’t handle it. I was pregnant.

I jogged into the girl’s bathroom and flung open a stall and puked my guts up. So much for having breakfast…I can’t even hold it in long enough for it to be digested.

I flushed the toilet and raised up, letting my forehead rest up against the cold wall.

I rubbed my stomach and started to cry…My parents didn’t even know yet. The only person in my life that knew was Troy. Troy hasn’t told anyone. I trusted him. I always have.

I walked out of the stall and stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at my eyeliner that was running down my pale cheeks. I grabbed a paper towel and quickly cleaned up my eyes and wet my face.

I was hot. I was sick. I was pregnant.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The whole world was closing in on me. What would everyone think of me when I get as big as a hippo? Will they still call me slut? Or will they just stare and be in shock that I would do something this extreme? If I don’t tell Alex that I am pregnant in a month will he notice when I start to show? Will he know that it’s his? Will he have a slight clue?

I gulped and shook my head. I rubbed my temples. I can’t go back in there and learn how to put a condom on a banana…I think everyone knows by now. I bet everyone has given up their virginity in this school.

I paced back in fourth in that empty girl’s bathroom. What am I suppose to do in this situation? Can I just go on for a couple of months and let everyone think that I just gained a lot of weight? Other then adoption there is one more option that would fix everything…

Abortion.