Delude

After the library, I headed to my next class, hoping I wouldn’t be late for that one. I had Psychology and I was excited for it. I had always been interested in that subject, even when I was younger.

My mom had taken me to Borders one day when I was twelve and I had managed to get lost on the second level. While I was wandering passed the bookshelves, I was reading the signs of the sections.

I stopped at the Psychology section and walked down the aisle, looking at the books. I wasn’t really sure what the subject entailed until I saw the spine of one of the covers: the science of the mind or of mental states and processes.

When my mom found me, clearly furious that I left her side, I showed her the book and she stared at me.

“You won’t need to know that crap,” she told me. I opened my mouth to protest but she glared at me. “It’s all nonsense, let’s go.” Her voice commanded that I follow.

Now, as I stepped into the classroom, my mother’s words ran loud in my ears. I wonder if her mother ever told her anything she was interested in was crap or pretty much useless. I didn’t think so.

I frowned as my eyes locked with the boy I had hit with my locker; he sat in the back with his head tilted to the side as he spotted me. He smiled slightly, wincing as the action sent a sharp pain through his semi-healed nose.

As I slid into the only other empty seat next to him, he put his hands behind his head and nodded briefly at me.

“How are you feeling?” I asked as I took out my notebook.

“Well, it’s not every day I get my nose broken by a female.” He laughed, seeming to find the situation funny. When I didn’t make a noise, he looked at me.

“I feel bad,” I murmured.

“Do you feel bad enough to take me out as an apology?” He grinned and brushed a hand through his choppy brown hair.

I considered this for a moment and nodded. “Not that bad.” I watched his face fall and I frowned. “I’m just not-”

“Hey, it’s cool.” He smiled thinly, his eyes no longer on me. “I have someone else in mind to go out with anyway.”

Ouch.

“That’s nice.” I couldn’t help the not-so-nice tone that crept into my voice. I turned my head away from him and focused on what the teacher was saying.

“She’s really nice,” he muttered beside me. “She showed me her car - a red Mustang.”
I nearly dropped my pen when he said the last part. I stared at him, my eyes wide, and then I smiled.

“You’re going to go out with Jade?”

“How do you know her?” He seemed annoyed that I had said what I was thinking.

“She’s my best friend,” I murmured.

“Well then,” he mumbled, glancing at me. “Are you telling me that I can’t take her out if she wants to go?”

“She wouldn’t want to go,” I said automatically.

Yes, now he looked annoyed. His green eyes narrowed as he said, “What makes you think she’ll say no to me?”

“For one,” I bit out, “you’re horribly conceited. Two, Jade isn’t dating anyone at the moment. Three, she’ll probably laugh in your face when you get the courage to ask.”

Evan looked like he was going to throw his notebook at me, or worse, he would start crying like a baby. I didn’t say anything as I heard Mr. Avery clear his throat agitatedly.

I felt a pang of guilt tug at me halfway through the class. I had lost what was being talked about because all my mind could focus on was that stupid, rejected boy next to me.

I rolled my eyes, ripped a piece of paper out of my notebook, and scribbled something on it. I breathed out a long sigh as I passed it to him.

Are you okay? You look like you’re going to cry.

He stared at me, his lip curling slightly.

You shouldn’t tell me lies about your friend, you know.

I blinked.

What lie?

He smirked at me.

If you wanted to ask me out, you could have. You didn’t have to invent that story to keep me from being interested in someone else.

“What?” I hissed, as I read the answer. “What the hell are you talking about?” I said to him, my voice a little louder than I intended.

Everyone turned in their seats to look at me.

“Miss Sullivan-”

Fuck.

“Yes sir?” I mumbled, looking into Mr. Avery’s angry face.

“If you and Mr. Fynn have something to sort out, then by all means talk outside. We’ll wait.” He was unpleasant. “Otherwise I suggest you sit down.”

I hadn’t realized I was standing. I sat down and picked up my pen; it trembled in my fingers. I was even more surprised when that sudden creepy feeling emerged again.

Every single head in the class was facing the front of the room, so why did I still feel as though I were being stared at by unseen eyes?