Manage Me, I'm a mess

I woke up feeling content. Then I remembered what happened the night before and my eyes snapped open.

Sure enough, beside me, was Alex’s bare chest, his arm around slung loosely around my waist. Alex. My best friend, Alex. Alex. I had the strong urge to cry. I got out of the bed and grabbed a bathrobe. I ran into the bathroom and sat on the side of the tub, bawling my eyes
out.

I had sex with Alex. What if it was never the same again? What if this was the end of our friendship? I started to cry more when I remembered how right it felt, us together. What if I liked Alex, and he didn’t like me back? Of course he didn’t, this was another one night stand to him. I realized that I had to get out of here before Alex woke up. I quickly dressed and grabbed a piece of paper.

Alex,
Gone out. Text when we have to get on the bus.
-S

I slipped my cell phone into my pocket and exited the room. I saw Jack in the hallway and froze. His back was to me so I whipped around and ran down the hall as fast as I could.

“Serena!” I heard him call and then run after me. I pushed harder and ran out the door to the stairs. “Serena, wait!” he called. I climbed down the stairs quickly and then ran out the exit to the street. I didn’t stop running and then ducked into a nearby shop.

Coincidentally, it was a clothing shop. Figuring I could use the therapy, I looked through the racks, picking up whatever I thought would look good. I whipped out my emergency credit card and bought it all. My parents wouldn’t care anyways. I exited the shop with 3 bags and moved on to the next store.

While I was in there, I got a call. Alex, it read. I ignored it and stuffed it back into my pocket. There I came out with 4 bags. Then came a shoe store, 6 pairs of shoes came out with me. One more store and 2 bags from that one.

I would’ve bought more but I got a text saying we were getting on to the bus from Rian.

I didn’t feel better. Not at all. Even after the many clothes I bought. I saw the bus and
stopped in front of it. I took a deep breath and went inside.

I saw everyone sitting on the couch but I kept my eyes down and squeezed by with my twelve bags.

“Serena, stop.” Jack said, grabbing my arm. I yanked it out of his grip and walked faster.

“Serena…” Alex started. I ran to the back room, closed and locked the door and collapsed on the sofa, crying.

“Serena, open the door!” Alex called. I didn’t answer. I sat up and hugged my knees. I knew he could hear me crying. I knew everyone knew about last night. I angrily shoved my bags to the floor, tears gushing down my face, staining my jeans. “Serena, please just talk to me!”

“Leave me alone, Alex!” I called, my voice cracking.

“Serena, come on! Just talk to me!” I heard muffled voices outside the door and heard footsteps walking away.

“S? Open it, please.” Jack’s voice said. I cried harder. I was humiliated that he knew. “C’mon, don’t cry, S. Talk to me? Talk to Jacky?” he asked. I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see me. I combed my hair back with my fingers, getting it out of my face. I lied down on the pull out bed in a fetal position.

“Please Serena! Don’t shut me out like this!” Alex’s voice called again. I jumped when he banged on the door hard. “Don’t do this!” he yelled, almost angrily. “At least talk to me!”

My head started to hurt and finally the yells stopped. I eventually cried myself to sleep, mentally and physically exhausted.