Temporary Life

I was laying on the couch with Lily as she rested her head on my chest, as I watched t.v. I was trying to think of things I can get Novak back with. A lot of them were pure evil, and I didn't feel like going that far...

"Hey, that's my pillow." Bam pouted as he walked in with the rest of the guys. But Knoxville was still missing...

"Hey, Baby comes first." I said, wrapping my arms around Lily.

"I know, Kels. I was just messin' with you." Bam said, leaning down and giving me a quick kiss.

"What's in the bag?" I asked, looking at him confused. I only asked for one bra until I found my others... He gave me his famous smirk. "Bam." I said warningly.

"What? I just did a bit of shopping for you."

"And him." Jess said, laughing and walking over to pick up Lily.

"I'm scared if he had to take Lily from me." I said, looking at Bam skeptically as I sat up.

"Just look." He said, handing the bag to me. "I even got a top to match. That's how good I am." He smiled.

I looked in the bag and pulled out it's contents. I had to admit, they were all cute and tasteful. "Why do I need these?" I asked, laughing.

"What? You don't like them?"

"I didn't say that." I said, putting them back in the bag and standing up to wrap my arms around his neck. "I like them very much. I just don't know why you bought them for me."

"Because I could just see you wearing them." He said, smiling and kissing me. I smiled into the kiss and curled my fingers into his hair.

"Might I remind you how this little one got here?" Jess laughed, still holding Lily.

I pulled away to look at him and nodded. Bam groaned and buried his face into the nook between my shoulder and neck. "Way to ruin the moment, Jess."

"Anyways... I need your help." I said, pulling away from Bam and grabbing the bag, heading up stairs.

"With what?" He asked, following me.

"So, I have a lot of ideas on how to get Novak back, but I need to tone them down at little. I just don't know how to without ruining the whole thing... Help!"

He laughed, shaking his head. "I tought you like, everything! You should know."
"I have a brain cramp." I pouted.

We talked as I changed. Soon, we came up with perfect plans on what to do with Novak and Knoxville. It was a win win situation.

"Oh, Kels!" Novak called in a sing-song voice as we went down stairs.

"Novak, I swear, if you have touched any other articles of my clothing, I will kill you!" I said, glaring at him.

"I haven't." He smirked. "But I made something for you."

"Ok, now I'm even more scarred." I said, holding onto Bam's arm.

"Follow me." He said, turning to walk out back. As we did, I say one of the trees decorated in...

"Novak! Why are my bras on the tree?!" I yelped.

" 'Cause it needed some support." Raab said, starting to laugh. I glared at him and he stopped instantly. He cleared his throat and started backing up.

"At least your underwear aren't up there too." Bam said, wrapping his arm around my waist, most likely making sure I don't kill Novak.

"I knew it was missing something!" Novak said.

"Oh, you are so going down, little boy." I said, before walking back in the house, getting my keys and heading to the store. I would need supplies... And lots of them...

I was in the kitchen that night, making dinner, when I heard yelling from upstairs. I smiled, knowing it was Novak. "What the hell?!" He screamed, running down the stairs. He ran into the kitchen, pointing at me. "You!"

I gasped. "Me? Whatever do you mean?" I asked, trying to hold in a laugh.

His skin was green, from head to toe, even his hair was green. And it wasn't any green, it was neon green. It was like he was glowing! "Woman, this better come off."

"Oh it will." He sighed in relief. "In a few weeks."

"What?!" I laughed, going back to cooking. I heard him stomp off somewhere else and start yelling again.

"He's starting to remind me of Vito..." Bam mumbled as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.

"Ready for tonight?" I asked, smiling at what we had planned.

"Hell yeah. These fuckers are getting it." He said, kissing my neck and walking off to do something.

As we all sat at the table for dinner, I looked at Bam and he smiled back at me. "Oh, guys. By the way, the water is going to be off for a few hours, so no toilets." I told them. They all shrugged.

About half way through dinner, Novak and Knoxville started squirming in their chairs uncomfortably. "Something wrong, Boys?" Jess asked, already knowing what it was.

"Did you put a new seasoning in this or something, Kels?" Novak asked.

"No, why?" I asked, trying to keep under control.

"Um... I'll be back." He said, before jumping out of his chair.

"Me too." Knoxville said, right behind him.

"Use the bushes! Remember?! No toilets!" I called to them.

"Fuck!" They both yelled, as they turned and ran out back.

Bam and I were laughing hysterically as the rest looked confused. "What did you two do to them?" Raab asked, looking at his food skeptically.

"We put Laxatives in their food." Bam explained.

"Oh! That is so wrong!" Steve-O said, laughing. "Funny, but wrong."

"Well, I had to get him back some how." I said, shrugging.

Later that night, when Bam and I were just laying in bed, I suddenly felt
something moving on the bed. It wasn't much, but it was enough to freak me out. "Bam, do you feel that?" I whispered.

"Feel what?" He asked, confused.

I waited a few more seconds, before I felt it again. "That!" I yelped, reaching for the lamp on the bed side table. When I turned it on, I freaked even more. There was a huge, black spider on the sheets. It was suddenly jumping at me, so I flew off the bed. I didn't take the time to notice that it was fake and on a line of fishing wire.

I looked up to see Novak laughing his ass off.

"Run." Was all I said, before lunging at him.

This was going to get worse for him.