Cut and Run

The next morning I awoke to find myself still in the woods. My mind was groggy as I pulled my phone out of the pocket to check the time. Before I could even let my sight focus on the time, I saw the three hundred and twenty-eight missed calls, two hundred and ninety-seven unheard voicemails, and over four hundred texts. I didn’t bother to read or listen to anything, the feeling of guilt making me want to puke.

I opened a new message, typed a bullshit lie about how I was fine, and would be back in time for therapy and sent it to Justin, Alex, and Freddy.

My eyes ran across my wrist, the crescent-shaped marks still fresh from the night before, as well as dried blood. I stood, and started to walk. I heard my phone go off, though I ignored it as I continued to make my way through the woods, until I found the stream. Kneeling, I placed my arm in the cool, gently moving water and used my hand to rub the blood off of my arm.

Soon I was walking again, and that turned into running. My mind was empty as I found myself focusing on counting my breathing and footsteps.

I ran, just like I always did.

***

I arrived back at the apartments just in time to leave for therapy without being late. Justin, as well as Freddy, were outside. Both ran to me, and I dropped my gaze to my feet because I couldn’t stand to look them in the eyes. Justin’s arms found their way around me, and his voice was soft in my ears.

“We were worried sick! Please, please, please never do that again. I couldn’t sleep, and I was afraid I had lost you.”

No noise escaped from my mouth, though I was hugging my brother tightly, not wanting to let go. “Andi, if you ever run off like that again, we will have some issues,” Freddy threatened in a concerned way as she rubbed my back slightly. Soon she left, and my brother and I were in the car on the way to therapy. Justin watched as I walked into the building, as always, and I knew he would stay there the entire session so I couldn’t sneak off.

I waited in the sitting area of the office for about five minutes until Paul called me in. I sat down, my legs underneath me, and said nothing. “Is there anything you wish to talk about today?” he asked, his face not giving away his thoughts like usual. I shrugged, remaining silent.

“Andi, I can tell something is bothering you,” Paul’s voice cut through the silence that had been in the air for almost fifteen minutes now. “I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but what you tell me is confidential. I’m not allowed to tell anyone what we discuss unless someone’s life is in danger.”

Still, I remained silent. The clock counted the seconds, which seemed to be going slow. My session was almost over, and I had gotten by saying nothing. About ten minutes were left, and I suddenly felt the need to break the silence.

“I th-think I-I-I might b-be preg-pregnant. W-with my fa-father’s b-b-baby.”