Unknown Visit

I'm not crying. I don't cry. No, I can't be crying. But my body betrayed me and was shaking, and my eyes were leaking. Stupid eyes. I hate feeling like this. Stupid Mikey. Stupid feelings. I heard my door open, and I didn't even bother to calm my body of anything like that. I was crying, and I couldn't help it. I didn't want to cry. It's just the same, all the time.

“Els?” She was whispering. But it still sounded loud. “Rayne?” I grimaced when I sounded croaky. It's what crying does to me. Although I never cry usually. I'm not one to cry, I tend to keep it. I never want to show my emotions, it makes you weak. And I'm not weak. I don't like showing myself to people. Rayne's okay. No one else.

“Oh, Elerna. What's wrong?” My lip trembled. Stupid crying. “It's horrible, Rayne; this is the feeling I had on Ryan on that school trip. God, I feel so stupid.” I truly did. I mean, I hadn't even known him that long. But then again, neither had I known Ryan that long. Rayne sighed.

“Ryan was stupid and broke your heart; why are you crying now-oh. Mikey.” I fell back onto my pillow, feeling more tears. “Yes; I saw you and Frank kiss, and I got jealous. That's why I wanted to leave right away, and now my mum wants me home, and she hates you, and I don't know. I've never even greeted you to her, and she hates you! My life is so messed up.” I rolled onto my stomach. I really hate my mum. Really badly.

“I'm going to sleep this off; think of what I'm going to do tomorrow.” I think I might have to go back soon. Even though I don't want to. I think I might have to. I really do hate my mum. She ruins everything for me. Everything. It's like she doesn't want me to enjoy as much as life as I can. Even though it's a little bit anyway.

“Night, Elerna.” She whispered for the last time before closing the door and heading to her room across the hall. I waited for a moment, making sure that she was gone before standing up with my quilt wrapped around me. I heard another door open, and a small smile came on my face. Soft footsteps went downstairs and I waited a minute before opening my door and following the footsteps downstairs.

I got to the kitchen and Avon was sitting there, eating cookies. More, I'm quite sure of. He looked up, probably thinking that I would go and tell Rayne. Instead, I just sat across from him.

“What some company?” He smiled softly before offering me a cookie. I took it slowly. “You miss him Elerna, don't you?” I sighed and nodded, not even bothering to question how he knew it. He just always did know stuff like this.

“I said I would never miss anyone like this, or even show tears after Ryan. It's not right, Avon. I hate him. I hate myself. I hate my mum, she hates Rayne and she has never met her. She doesn't want me seeing her again. I had to sneak here, she never knew.” He gave me a pitiful smile. “He must be good, to deserve your tears. You can't find two Ryan's in one life time Elerna. And your mum sounds nasty.”

I made an agreeing noise. “She is. That's why Rayne has never met her before.” He nodded. I finished my cookie and he handed me another one. I gave him another smile. “Avon, never fall in love. It hurts more then anything in the world. And always keep your heart safe, because on day someone will take it and rip it to shreds.” He just nodded.