Burning Desires

Two whole months since he proposed to Val.

He wanted to be excited. He wanted to be as happy as Val was every morning, but he couldn’t help but feel like he had made a mistake. He knew he had strong feelings towards Jade. He just couldn’t deny it to himself anymore. He just made things more complicated instead of making them better.

He thought that if he committed himself to the woman he thought loved unconditionally that everything would be alright, but there was nothing all right about his engagement.

He packed up for the tour.

It was only a single suit case. Val was waiting for him to drop him off at the studio. Their first show would be at San Francisco. It would several hours before they would get there. He picked up his suit case and headed downstairs and outside of the house. Val was inside of his car in the driver’s seat.

He put the suit case in the back seat and got inside.

“I can’t believe you won’t be around for the wedding details.”

“You’re already starting?” Matt asked her surprised.

She giggled. “Of course, but it’s nothing big. It’s not like we have a date. I’m just going to go over ideas with Michelle and the other girls.”

Matt sighed in relief, but Val didn’t notice.

The ride wasn’t awkward or silent. There was this just comfortable silence between the two. This wasn’t how an engaged couple should be like. Matt scolded himself for making such a big mistake. He couldn’t just take it all back, not without hurting Val and she had done nothing, but showed her true devotion to him.

He was the one with the problems, not her.

They arrived at the studio and after Matt took out his suit case she was off to meet with Michelle.

It didn’t help Matt that he was going to see Jade in lingerie almost every day and watch her dance. It wasn’t going to help that she was with Brian, one of his best friends.

She was taken.

Other cars arrived, and they were almost all together. The only ones missing were Jade and Brian. The tour bus arrived and everyone grinned as they saw the Death bat plastered on both sides of the bus in black and white with the name of the latest album in red fancy letters ‘City of Evil’.

They all knew this album would put them on the map and would get more noticed. There was less screaming, but there was much more in it as well. They did their best to try new things, but still stay true to themselves.

It was a great accomplishment from all of them.

“Can’t we just go in?!” Jimmy asked as he jumped up and down impatiently.

“What about Brian and Jade?” Zacky asked and took out his phone and called Brian. “Dude, what’s taking you guys so long? Don’t tell me you’re late because you got busy.”

Matt’s eyes narrowed and waited to hear a response.

“You’re blaming traffic?” Zacky scoffed. “Right… whatever man… we’re going inside of the tour bus without you two. Just come inside when you get here.”

Zacky closed his phone.

“Apparently, they’re stuck in traffic.”

Matt hoped that was the real reason. Everyone went inside of the bus. Jimmy immediately went to the back of the bus where the bunks were at. This time they went all out. It had a lot of things they wanted and could be more comfortable.

At the very front of the bus there were two black leather couches on either side of the bus. The carpet was red and next to the couch to his left there was the sink and above it there was a microwave to warm their food. Across from there a fridge was set and Matt opened it and smiled when he saw that if was full of beer and soda. He noticed the blinds were the same color of the carpet and he walked a bit further and saw that now the shower and bathroom were separate. That was a good thing.

The bunk beds were pretty big too. Two people could fit in it. He smiled at the thought of it, but he wasn’t thinking of his girlfriend and he knew that was wrong.

He headed back to the front of the bus and saw that Johnny had taken out his game systems and was hooking up his X-Box to the large plasma. There was also a small rounded table where they could all sit down, eat, and write music.

He heard laughing, it was familiar and musical. He turned and saw as Brian and Jade got on the bus. Her smile was bright and her hand was with his. He was a bit confused. She was supposed to be at the dancer’s bus.

“Hey guys,” Brian greeted all of them including Matt who pretended he was okay with it. “I asked Jade to join us since I don’t think it’s cool that girlfriend rides on another bus when she could perfectly fit with me in my bunk.”

“No problem!” Jimmy yelled from the back.

The others agreed and they only needed Matt’s blessing.

“Yeah, sure,” Matt mumbled and headed to the back of the bus.

Their manager told them they would be leaving in an hour so they should get comfortable because it would a long drive to San Francisco.

Matt finished putting his things away and claimed the top bunk closest to the entrance door. He always had that one. Brian and Jade walked in and they were laughing and giggling together. She didn’t even greet him.

From the corner of his eye he could see as Brian kissed her neck, and say something in her ear.

Matt stormed out of there and sat down.

He should’ve known it was going to be his personal hell to see them together.

The bus started to move and everything just fell like it used to, except Brian was playing with Johnny. He was in the back with Jade.

“Matt should’ve just worn a sign that said ‘I’m jealous’,” Brian laughed.

Jade blushed, but laughed along too.

“He really shouldn’t. I’m moving on like he did.”

Brian smiled. “Are you sure?”

Jade nodded. “I know when I’m not wanted.”

Brian knew very well Matt wanted her, he just couldn’t have her.

Brian was going to do it. He was going to kiss her. He leaned down to kiss her. Their lips met and he felt a jolt of electricity go through his body. Her full lips moved along with his and he felt in perfect harmony.

Matt watched from the rounded table that gave a full view of the back of the bus. She was kissing him back! His blood boiled in absolute jealousy. He wanted to go over there peel her off of him and kiss her like there was no tomorrow.

He wanted to show her he had feelings for her.

He entertained himself by taking out his lyrics notebook and started to write. This girl dilemma was getting to him and the only way he could get through it was if he wrote about it.

Matt had no idea what he was going to do about his feelings. Was he going to bury them? Was he going to act on them?

Either way someone was going to get hurt.

Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. Matt said to himself bitterly.