Seventeen and Invincible

“Go away,” Garrett seethed. Molly had done nothing but berate me since she walked into the room. “Just leave her alone,” he muttered, “she’s better off without you. She’s better off on her own.” I sighed listening to him, because his argument was pointless--Molly wasn’t backing down and she most definitely wasn’t going away anytime soon.

“And just who do you think you are?” she replied, the bitterness in her voice and her accent seeping through like poison. “You stupid boy, who do you think you are?” Her arms were in the shape of triangles; her hands were placed rigidly on her hips. Her blue eyes were burning holes into his forehead and the nicotine on her breath wafted across the room every time she spoke. “Tell me,” she dared, “tell me exactly who you think you are.”

“I’m her best friend,” he answered sternly before she even finished asking her question. His eyes were closed and one arm was at his side, the other up, the bridge of his nose pinched between his thumb and index finger. “I’m her best friend— the one who looks out for her because you sure as hell don’t.” He dropped his hand from his face and opened his eyes. “I’m her best friend and that’s all I’ve ever tried to be.”

“Like I am supposed to believe that all a seventeen year old boy is looking for is friendship,” she huffed as though it were comical and entertaining. “That’s never all a seventeen year old boy wants.” I rolled my eyes and looked down at the tile floor.

“Stop fighting,” I muttered. “Stop,” I winced taking note of the death glares they were exchanging. “Just stop,” I whispered. Garrett looked over toward me and frowned sympathetically. Molly just tore into him again. She called him stupid and immature. She called him a liar and a good for nothing pig. By the time she left it was apparent to anyone and everyone exactly why I tried to kill myself.

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“I’m sorry,” he whispered into my ear, his breath dancing across my skin and sending chills through my entire body. “I’m sorry I fought with Molly,” he apologized. “I know you hate the fighting and yelling almost as much as Mia does.”

I shook my head, “it wasn’t your fault. She attacked you. You were right to fight back.” He wrapped his arms around me and shook his head in disagreement. “Really, Garrett, I don’t blame you for fighting back. I should’ve too, but I just can’t do it anymore,” I paused. “Really, I’m not mad at you for fighting with her. I’m mad at her for antagonizing you. She had no right to say any of the things she said. It isn’t your fault, Gar, I promise.” I sighed tiredly and curled up next to him. “None of it was ever your fault.”

“That’s a lie,” he whispered, laughing a little at the end. “What about giving emancipation a shot?” he questioned softly—a horrible but beautiful suggestion. I shook my head. Molly wouldn’t go for the idea in a million years. “Why not, Ani? Why not give it a shot? You don’t deserve the bullshit she dishes out. You don’t deserve to live feeling like you need to die. ‘Cause that isn’t living and you deserve to live. More than anyone, you deserve the chance to live happily.” He sighed loudly and buried his face in the crook of my neck again. “You deserve so much more than any of us could ever hope to give you,” he sighed, “you shouldn’t feel like the world is falling apart around you. You just shouldn’t.”

“Garrett,” I whispered, “I can’t fight her. I can’t do it. All things considered she’s still my mother. She’s still the one who made the choice to bring me into this world.”

“Exactly!” he said quickly. “She brought you in. She shouldn’t be the reason you want out.”

“Well, that’s how it’s working out,” I replied exasperatedly. I felt his arms tighten around me and my breath catch in my throat. “Things aren’t always the way they should be. This happens to be one of those situations.” I closed my eyes and tried to forget about the fighting.

“That isn’t how it has to work though,” he sighed. “You don’t have to live like that. You don’t have to feel like that.” I shifted and shivered in his arms. “You don’t have to be ignored, or forced to cook and clean. You don’t have to be treated like an adult and then be uprooted and dragged away from the only place you know like a child.”

“It’s exactly like you said when I first woke up,” I sighed. “I have to go with them now, but you’ll bring me back as soon as you can.” I smiled, imagining that I could be as comfortable as I was right now in his arms forever.

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“You’re free to go home,” the nurse said softly, entering my room. It was New Years Eve and my time with Garrett was really running out. I smiled softly at the idea of being out of the stupid, suffocating hospital room. The smile was soft because I was ridiculously unhappy about Garrett leaving, going home and going to Germany.

“Thank you,” I replied quietly. She nodded and exited the room. Garrett stood in the corner smiling at me. “What’s with you, creeper?”

“You’re smiling again.” I shook my head and laughed. “See, and laughing. Not to mention the fact that you’re getting out of here.” I sighed at the thought of seeing Molly again.

“Gar,” I whispered, “I don’t wanna go home.” He nodded—he already knew. “You’re leaving soon.” He nodded again. “I’m leaving soon.” His smile fell as he nodded a third time. “Garrett, I don’t want to go home.”

“I know,” he whispered approaching me and wrapping me in his arms again. “I know, and if it were up to me, you’d never have to go back there again.” I nodded, burying my head in his chest.

“I hate them, Garrett. Look at what they’ve done to me. Look at what they’ve turned me into.”

“I hate them too, Ani. Trust me,” he whispered, “I hate them too.”

"Garrett?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah?" he replied almost inaudibly.

"I'm not ready to say good-bye to you. I don't think I can do it."

"It isn't good-bye, Ani. It's just a see you later."