Rock Stars at Night, Teachers by Day
Italian Class
Tré Cool?! Oh my god! This is a fucking dream come true! It’s… its AWESOME! Holy shit! Is this really true. I should slap myself.
OWW!
Ok it’s true.
“Do you know him?” one of the freshmen asked. She had a confused look on her, staring at me as if I had multiple heads.
“Do I know him?” I stood up, almost stepping on my Fender acoustic guitar. I brought it with me to school, and it was lying on the floor for some apparent reason. I walked towards her and she began sink back into her seat. “Do I know him?”
“Do you know me?” Tré asked. His face also looked confused. He stared at me puzzled for a few seconds before realizing the sweater I was wearing. “Oh. Haha. I guess you sorta do know me.” He laughed.
I looked over at him and couldn’t help but laughing at the huge smirk he had on his face. His blue eyes sparkled and were surrounded by a thin coat of eyeliner. He wore a pair of scuffed up converse, black tight jeans and a black blazer over a Nirvana tee shirt. Very professional Tré. Good Job.
I turned my attention to the rest of my classmates who were obviously confused. Their eyes paced back and forth between Tré and myself.
“Come on guys! You don’t know who this is?” They stared at me again with that ‘What the Fuck!?’ look on their faces. “Oh wait. That’s right. You guys listen to shitty ass R&B. Never mind then.” I stated and skipped back to my seat whistling.
On my way back to my seat everyone watched me. I can feel their eyes burning right through me. Maybe calling their music ‘shitty’ wasn’t such a good idea. Did I care? Uhh NO! I turned around and looked around the classroom. Everyone was still staring at me with anger in their eyes. I faced them all, put my arms out to the side and did that ‘What you looking at’ gesture all the ‘bullies’ do. They all turned their attention back to Tré.
I looked over at Ashley, her mouth dropped wide open. I know she knew who Tré was. She barely listens to Green Day, because punk isn’t really her thing. But she always looked up to Tré as a great drummer and an awesome prankster. He was her favorite punk drummer ever to walk on the face of the planet.
“Ok. Attention people. Uhh stupid question. What class is this?” Tré asked. He looked around the room waiting for someone’s hand to shoot up. “Anyone?” he sighed. He looked around the room a few more seconds before he sighed again and pointed at me. “You seem like a very outgoing youngster. Can you please tell me what class this is?”
“Well since everyone is being fucking retarded I will most certainly tell you what class this is Mr. Cool. Can I call you that? No wait fuck that. I am calling you Mr. Frank. Ok I’ll shut up now. This is Italian 1 by the way.” I blurted.
WOW. I am fucking retarded. Great first impression on your favorite bands drummer. He probably thinks I’m just another fucking teenie. That or a stalker. Either was it wasn’t good.
“Haha, Mr. Frank? That’s awesome. I like it.” He laughed.
Phew. I didn’t make myself look like a complete asshole. I rock! GO ME!
“By a show of hands, how many of you heard of a band called Green Day? Besides you in the back” he said to me. He looked around the room Ashley rose her hand.
“I KNOW YOU GUYS!” she screamed. She then stared laughing hysterically. Typical Ashley.
“HELL YEAH! I guess all you other people never heard of Green Day before. Well not that you care but I am the drummer. Yeah... We play that song. Ya know. The one with the guitar. And the multiple bass lines. And the signing. And it has a solo. I think it’s called American Idiot. The song that was played out on the radio by week one. The one that goes—Oh fuck it you guys are useless.” He threw his hands up in the air and sighed loudly.
Ashley laughed so loud at this that the classroom started echoing. This made me start laughing and caused everyone else in the classroom, once again, stare at us like we were crazy
“Another hyperactive student? SWEET! I like you guys! What are your guises names anyway?” he questioned
“I am Ashley and that’s Jenn.” Ashley responded. “And yea. We are UBER hyper active. Watch!” She yelled. She stood up and grabbed my hand. Leading me into the hallway, we both grabbed our soda empty soda bottles and filled them up with water at the water fountain. She splashed most of the water from the bottle onto my shirt. We continued throwing water at each other running around the hallway and back into the classroom. We went back to our seats soaking wet, still laughing like drunken hyenas.
“Yo mistah. Why you wearin’ eyeliner like a lil bitchy girl? Are you a fuckin’ fag or somethin’?” Josh asked. The class started laughing for a few seconds and then quieted down for Tré’s response. Josh. Oh what to say about that little dweeb. A freshman for the seconded time in a row. Barely shows up to class and is very disruptive when he does. He was short and dressed in clothes that were twice his size. He always gave me problems in the past. Oh how I hate him.
“Yo kid! How come your shirt is big enough to be one of my drum covers? Answer that and I’ll tell you why I wear guyliner. Go on. Answer me.” He waited a few seconds. Josh looked at him dumbfounded. He sucked his teeth and looked away. Ashley and I snickered a little bit. “That’s what I thought.” He said. OWNED! I guess I have to teach you guys Italian or something. One of the other Italian teachers left me a lesson plan thing. Let me find it. Hold on. Where’d I put that sucker?”
Tré looked around the backpack he had. Emptying it, he pulled out multiple drumsticks, drum pads, music sheets and a few other random items. He looked in his pockets and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper.
“EUREKA!” he screamed. Flattening out the paper he slammed it down on the table and attempted to read it. “Lo Scopo? What in the hell does that mean? Qual’é la temperature a Roma? I don’t get it! It’s like, like a different language or something!”
Uhh Tré it kinda is a different language. Aha he is such an idiot. But he’s my idiot and I love him for it. Now we all know why Tré never became a teacher. It’s all coming to me now.
Some of the students laughed at his remark while others stared him down like he was some sort of retard. If they knew that he was just joking then they would laugh. Hey, he did go to clown school after all.
”Uhh TR—err I mean Mr. Frank? The period is about to end in 15 minutes. It kinda took forever for a substitute to finally come to the class. Just letting you know before the bell ri--” He cut me off in the middle of the sentence.
“HEY GUYS! I GOT A FUN GAME TO PLAY! Jenn let me see your guitar for a minute?” he asked.
Oh my god. Tré wants to use MY GUITAR!? Ahhh this is fucking awesome!!! Oh god I sound like a fucking teenie.
“Yeah sure.” I responded, unzipping my guitar case, gently lifting the instrument from it. I had a strong feeling he was going to start some corny ass sing along that no one will sing to.
“Awesome guitar.” He said. “So Jenn and Ashley. You guys are fans of me huh? Can you guys sing?” he asked while strumming a ‘G’ chord on my guitar.
We shook our heads while he started playing a song. A familiar tune came from the guitar. Ashley and I stared at each other and started laughing. Tré smiled as he knew why we were laughing. We waited until the lyrics were to be sang and belted out the lyrics loudly.
“SUCK MY DICK UNTIL YOUR LIPS FALL OFF! DON’T MAKE ME ASK AGAIN. PLEEEEEEASE. PUT IT DOWN YOUR THROAT UNTIL IT MAKES YOU COUGH! NIBBLE ON MY DICK LIKE A RAT DOES CHEESE!” we both stopped and started laughing. Tré nearly dropped my guitar from laughing so hard. Our profuse laughing caused the whole class to start cracking up uncontrollably.
“AHA! That. Was. Great.” He said between laughs. “Try this one.” Once again we were laughing before we started singing again.
“I WANNA BE YOUR DOMINATED LOVE SLAVE! I WANNA BE THE ONE WHO TAKES THE PAIN! YOU CAN SPANK ME WHEN I DO NOT BEHAVE. SMACK ME IN THE FORHEAD WITH A CHAIN. COZ I LOOOVE FEELING DIRTY! AND I LOOOVE FEELING CHEAP! AND I LOOOVE IT WHEN YOU HURT ME! SO DRIIIVE THEM STAPLES DEEP!” once again the room filled with laughter. Now everyone joined us in laughing. Even Josh. Well I guess his perverted mind had to laugh at something.
“Aha you guys are awesome! I fucking love you guys!!! Ok ok ok! Do this one!”
“LET’S GET DRUNK AND GO OUT DRIVING! LET’S SEE JUST HOW QUICKLY WE CAN GO! LET’S GET PLOWED AND PLOW DOWN SOME OLD LADY! LET’S DO DRINK OFF THE STEREO! LET’S GO DOWN AND VOMIT OUT THE WINDOW! LET’S KEEP SCORE OF HOW MAY WE’VE KILLED! TWO TEQUILA SLAMMERS OFF THE DASHBOARD! THERE’S AN ALCOHOLIC AT THE WHEEL!”
We played guitar and laughed for the remaining 10 minutes of the period. We sang everything from Blink 182 to The Beatles. I never wanted this class to end. It was amazing.
After strumming the last chord of ‘Love’ by John Lennon, the bell rang. Everyone got up and walked around the broken glass still lying on the floor. Ashley and I walked to the back of the room and collected our stuff. Tré stuffed my guitar back into my case and handed it to me.
“Tré. This was the most… I really don’t know what to say.” I laughed. “Thank you. For making this boring ass class the best 50 minutes of my life.”
“Hey, no problem guys. I expected to come in here and be stuck with a bunch of hot headed wangsters and retarded fucking smart mouths.” He smiled at both of us. We attacked him with a hug and thanked his multiple times. I headed for the door, Ash trailing behind me like a lost puppy. We looked back for the last time and continued our way down the hall.
“Dude, that was awesome! I can’t believe that just happened!” Ashley nearly screamed. We walked up the staircase together laughing hysterically. I got off at the second floor while Ashley continued her way up to the third.
I walked down the hallway to come face to face with my friend Daniela. We ran to each other screaming like we always do every time we see each other.
“Oh my god dude you will never guess who my substitute teacher was last period!” I blurted out. She looked at me, confusion in her eyes. Her black eyeliner was smeared around her eyelids. She was wearing a Nirvana sweatshirt with black sweatpants and her long black hair was straightened like usual.
“Uhh. I dunno. Who was it?”
“Tré Cool! I swear to god dude! It was awesome! We played guitar most of the period and sang awesome Blink 182 and Green Day songs. He broke through the fucking glass of the door with a fire extinguisher to get into the room! Oh my god you should’ve been there!” She looked at me with a huge grin on her face.
“Yeah right. Liar! You wish” she laughed. We headed for our Computer software class right down the hall. She was laughing halfway there.
I can’t believe she doesn’t believe me. Why would I lie to my best friend? I mean I joke around a lot but I’m not that creative to think up how someone would break through the door. Curse my evil hysteric reputation.
I stopped her two classrooms away from where we were heading. “Dude I’m not fucking joking. Tré Cool substituted my class last period! You can even ask Ashley later! Come on you gotta believe me!”
“Whatever.” She sighed. “Fine I pretend to believe you and you can keep on believing that he taught your class.” I had no idea how to respond to that. We just kept heading on our way to class. I didn’t speak until we got in front of the classroom. Gripping the doorknob I shuttered inside. Everyone hates Mr. Guzman’s Computer Software class.
“Great another exciting period of gay computers.” Pushing open the door, I took a step in, Dannie right behind me. “Nothing can top last period. Not even if my teacher was— Hey quit poking me!” I turned around to find Dannie with her mouth dropped wide open. She pointed behind me, her hands shaking profusely.
“What are you looking at?” I asked while turning around. “Is there a dead body behind me or--” I almost passed out right then and there.
Holy shit. I can’t believe this. It can’t be him. But it is. Mike Dirnt?!
OWW!
Ok it’s true.
“Do you know him?” one of the freshmen asked. She had a confused look on her, staring at me as if I had multiple heads.
“Do I know him?” I stood up, almost stepping on my Fender acoustic guitar. I brought it with me to school, and it was lying on the floor for some apparent reason. I walked towards her and she began sink back into her seat. “Do I know him?”
“Do you know me?” Tré asked. His face also looked confused. He stared at me puzzled for a few seconds before realizing the sweater I was wearing. “Oh. Haha. I guess you sorta do know me.” He laughed.
I looked over at him and couldn’t help but laughing at the huge smirk he had on his face. His blue eyes sparkled and were surrounded by a thin coat of eyeliner. He wore a pair of scuffed up converse, black tight jeans and a black blazer over a Nirvana tee shirt. Very professional Tré. Good Job.
I turned my attention to the rest of my classmates who were obviously confused. Their eyes paced back and forth between Tré and myself.
“Come on guys! You don’t know who this is?” They stared at me again with that ‘What the Fuck!?’ look on their faces. “Oh wait. That’s right. You guys listen to shitty ass R&B. Never mind then.” I stated and skipped back to my seat whistling.
On my way back to my seat everyone watched me. I can feel their eyes burning right through me. Maybe calling their music ‘shitty’ wasn’t such a good idea. Did I care? Uhh NO! I turned around and looked around the classroom. Everyone was still staring at me with anger in their eyes. I faced them all, put my arms out to the side and did that ‘What you looking at’ gesture all the ‘bullies’ do. They all turned their attention back to Tré.
I looked over at Ashley, her mouth dropped wide open. I know she knew who Tré was. She barely listens to Green Day, because punk isn’t really her thing. But she always looked up to Tré as a great drummer and an awesome prankster. He was her favorite punk drummer ever to walk on the face of the planet.
“Ok. Attention people. Uhh stupid question. What class is this?” Tré asked. He looked around the room waiting for someone’s hand to shoot up. “Anyone?” he sighed. He looked around the room a few more seconds before he sighed again and pointed at me. “You seem like a very outgoing youngster. Can you please tell me what class this is?”
“Well since everyone is being fucking retarded I will most certainly tell you what class this is Mr. Cool. Can I call you that? No wait fuck that. I am calling you Mr. Frank. Ok I’ll shut up now. This is Italian 1 by the way.” I blurted.
WOW. I am fucking retarded. Great first impression on your favorite bands drummer. He probably thinks I’m just another fucking teenie. That or a stalker. Either was it wasn’t good.
“Haha, Mr. Frank? That’s awesome. I like it.” He laughed.
Phew. I didn’t make myself look like a complete asshole. I rock! GO ME!
“By a show of hands, how many of you heard of a band called Green Day? Besides you in the back” he said to me. He looked around the room Ashley rose her hand.
“I KNOW YOU GUYS!” she screamed. She then stared laughing hysterically. Typical Ashley.
“HELL YEAH! I guess all you other people never heard of Green Day before. Well not that you care but I am the drummer. Yeah... We play that song. Ya know. The one with the guitar. And the multiple bass lines. And the signing. And it has a solo. I think it’s called American Idiot. The song that was played out on the radio by week one. The one that goes—Oh fuck it you guys are useless.” He threw his hands up in the air and sighed loudly.
Ashley laughed so loud at this that the classroom started echoing. This made me start laughing and caused everyone else in the classroom, once again, stare at us like we were crazy
“Another hyperactive student? SWEET! I like you guys! What are your guises names anyway?” he questioned
“I am Ashley and that’s Jenn.” Ashley responded. “And yea. We are UBER hyper active. Watch!” She yelled. She stood up and grabbed my hand. Leading me into the hallway, we both grabbed our soda empty soda bottles and filled them up with water at the water fountain. She splashed most of the water from the bottle onto my shirt. We continued throwing water at each other running around the hallway and back into the classroom. We went back to our seats soaking wet, still laughing like drunken hyenas.
“Yo mistah. Why you wearin’ eyeliner like a lil bitchy girl? Are you a fuckin’ fag or somethin’?” Josh asked. The class started laughing for a few seconds and then quieted down for Tré’s response. Josh. Oh what to say about that little dweeb. A freshman for the seconded time in a row. Barely shows up to class and is very disruptive when he does. He was short and dressed in clothes that were twice his size. He always gave me problems in the past. Oh how I hate him.
“Yo kid! How come your shirt is big enough to be one of my drum covers? Answer that and I’ll tell you why I wear guyliner. Go on. Answer me.” He waited a few seconds. Josh looked at him dumbfounded. He sucked his teeth and looked away. Ashley and I snickered a little bit. “That’s what I thought.” He said. OWNED! I guess I have to teach you guys Italian or something. One of the other Italian teachers left me a lesson plan thing. Let me find it. Hold on. Where’d I put that sucker?”
Tré looked around the backpack he had. Emptying it, he pulled out multiple drumsticks, drum pads, music sheets and a few other random items. He looked in his pockets and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper.
“EUREKA!” he screamed. Flattening out the paper he slammed it down on the table and attempted to read it. “Lo Scopo? What in the hell does that mean? Qual’é la temperature a Roma? I don’t get it! It’s like, like a different language or something!”
Uhh Tré it kinda is a different language. Aha he is such an idiot. But he’s my idiot and I love him for it. Now we all know why Tré never became a teacher. It’s all coming to me now.
Some of the students laughed at his remark while others stared him down like he was some sort of retard. If they knew that he was just joking then they would laugh. Hey, he did go to clown school after all.
”Uhh TR—err I mean Mr. Frank? The period is about to end in 15 minutes. It kinda took forever for a substitute to finally come to the class. Just letting you know before the bell ri--” He cut me off in the middle of the sentence.
“HEY GUYS! I GOT A FUN GAME TO PLAY! Jenn let me see your guitar for a minute?” he asked.
Oh my god. Tré wants to use MY GUITAR!? Ahhh this is fucking awesome!!! Oh god I sound like a fucking teenie.
“Yeah sure.” I responded, unzipping my guitar case, gently lifting the instrument from it. I had a strong feeling he was going to start some corny ass sing along that no one will sing to.
“Awesome guitar.” He said. “So Jenn and Ashley. You guys are fans of me huh? Can you guys sing?” he asked while strumming a ‘G’ chord on my guitar.
We shook our heads while he started playing a song. A familiar tune came from the guitar. Ashley and I stared at each other and started laughing. Tré smiled as he knew why we were laughing. We waited until the lyrics were to be sang and belted out the lyrics loudly.
“SUCK MY DICK UNTIL YOUR LIPS FALL OFF! DON’T MAKE ME ASK AGAIN. PLEEEEEEASE. PUT IT DOWN YOUR THROAT UNTIL IT MAKES YOU COUGH! NIBBLE ON MY DICK LIKE A RAT DOES CHEESE!” we both stopped and started laughing. Tré nearly dropped my guitar from laughing so hard. Our profuse laughing caused the whole class to start cracking up uncontrollably.
“AHA! That. Was. Great.” He said between laughs. “Try this one.” Once again we were laughing before we started singing again.
“I WANNA BE YOUR DOMINATED LOVE SLAVE! I WANNA BE THE ONE WHO TAKES THE PAIN! YOU CAN SPANK ME WHEN I DO NOT BEHAVE. SMACK ME IN THE FORHEAD WITH A CHAIN. COZ I LOOOVE FEELING DIRTY! AND I LOOOVE FEELING CHEAP! AND I LOOOVE IT WHEN YOU HURT ME! SO DRIIIVE THEM STAPLES DEEP!” once again the room filled with laughter. Now everyone joined us in laughing. Even Josh. Well I guess his perverted mind had to laugh at something.
“Aha you guys are awesome! I fucking love you guys!!! Ok ok ok! Do this one!”
“LET’S GET DRUNK AND GO OUT DRIVING! LET’S SEE JUST HOW QUICKLY WE CAN GO! LET’S GET PLOWED AND PLOW DOWN SOME OLD LADY! LET’S DO DRINK OFF THE STEREO! LET’S GO DOWN AND VOMIT OUT THE WINDOW! LET’S KEEP SCORE OF HOW MAY WE’VE KILLED! TWO TEQUILA SLAMMERS OFF THE DASHBOARD! THERE’S AN ALCOHOLIC AT THE WHEEL!”
We played guitar and laughed for the remaining 10 minutes of the period. We sang everything from Blink 182 to The Beatles. I never wanted this class to end. It was amazing.
After strumming the last chord of ‘Love’ by John Lennon, the bell rang. Everyone got up and walked around the broken glass still lying on the floor. Ashley and I walked to the back of the room and collected our stuff. Tré stuffed my guitar back into my case and handed it to me.
“Tré. This was the most… I really don’t know what to say.” I laughed. “Thank you. For making this boring ass class the best 50 minutes of my life.”
“Hey, no problem guys. I expected to come in here and be stuck with a bunch of hot headed wangsters and retarded fucking smart mouths.” He smiled at both of us. We attacked him with a hug and thanked his multiple times. I headed for the door, Ash trailing behind me like a lost puppy. We looked back for the last time and continued our way down the hall.
“Dude, that was awesome! I can’t believe that just happened!” Ashley nearly screamed. We walked up the staircase together laughing hysterically. I got off at the second floor while Ashley continued her way up to the third.
I walked down the hallway to come face to face with my friend Daniela. We ran to each other screaming like we always do every time we see each other.
“Oh my god dude you will never guess who my substitute teacher was last period!” I blurted out. She looked at me, confusion in her eyes. Her black eyeliner was smeared around her eyelids. She was wearing a Nirvana sweatshirt with black sweatpants and her long black hair was straightened like usual.
“Uhh. I dunno. Who was it?”
“Tré Cool! I swear to god dude! It was awesome! We played guitar most of the period and sang awesome Blink 182 and Green Day songs. He broke through the fucking glass of the door with a fire extinguisher to get into the room! Oh my god you should’ve been there!” She looked at me with a huge grin on her face.
“Yeah right. Liar! You wish” she laughed. We headed for our Computer software class right down the hall. She was laughing halfway there.
I can’t believe she doesn’t believe me. Why would I lie to my best friend? I mean I joke around a lot but I’m not that creative to think up how someone would break through the door. Curse my evil hysteric reputation.
I stopped her two classrooms away from where we were heading. “Dude I’m not fucking joking. Tré Cool substituted my class last period! You can even ask Ashley later! Come on you gotta believe me!”
“Whatever.” She sighed. “Fine I pretend to believe you and you can keep on believing that he taught your class.” I had no idea how to respond to that. We just kept heading on our way to class. I didn’t speak until we got in front of the classroom. Gripping the doorknob I shuttered inside. Everyone hates Mr. Guzman’s Computer Software class.
“Great another exciting period of gay computers.” Pushing open the door, I took a step in, Dannie right behind me. “Nothing can top last period. Not even if my teacher was— Hey quit poking me!” I turned around to find Dannie with her mouth dropped wide open. She pointed behind me, her hands shaking profusely.
“What are you looking at?” I asked while turning around. “Is there a dead body behind me or--” I almost passed out right then and there.
Holy shit. I can’t believe this. It can’t be him. But it is. Mike Dirnt?!