This Modern Love

Scotty and I didn’t touch each other for the next four days. It sucked that we didn’t even spend comfortable time together. We were just awkward around each other after my crying episode. We still had a whole another week of break left, and we barely even talked. I had spent most of my time with Joanna at her job. I wasn’t hired or anything, I just needed someone to talk to. She didn’t really have much advice for me. Just that I needed to pick one or the other, and stuff that I already knew. She once suggested a pros and cons list, but I didn’t find it helpful.

Scotty and I sat in Mason’s living room on opposite couches watching ‘Sleepless in Seattle’. There was nothing else on television except soap operas until three o’clock. Kevin was outside with Joanna, playing field hockey with the neighbor kids. They took a liking to Kevin after Joanna straightened him out a little bit.

Kevin walked into the house soaked with sweat and smelling like nasty wet dog.

“Scotty, you faggot,” Kevin groaned. “Why the hell are you watching this?”

“Because I would rather watch Sleepless in Seattle than General Hospital,” he spat.

“Queer,” Kevin mumbled. “You’re whipped like the family pig!”

Scotty rolled his eyes and shook his head. He had been in a sour mood ever since that night in the hotel.

“Well, I had to come in and tell you guys that Shaun and them are back,” Kevin informed us, leaning casually on the wall.

“He’s back?!” I asked in excitement. He wasn’t supposed to be here until two days before break was over.

I saw Scotty glare at me from the corner of my eye. I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for being excited that Shaun had come home.

“Yep. They cut the trip short,” Kevin nodded.

I jumped off the couch and bolted out the door to see for myself if Shaun had really come back. Kevin wasn’t lying. There was the van sitting in the driveway. Louie was on the lawn on the side of the van while Mason was unloading the trunk.

“THAT WAS THE BEST VACATION EVER!” Louie yelled at the top of his lungs, throwing his arms up in victory.

I ran up and hugged him, nearly knocking him over. Louie and I never really saw eye to eye, mostly because he had the brain of a seven year old, and liked to snitched. But I missed having him lurk behind every corner, waiting to sabotage me.

Surprisingly, Louie hugged me back.

“Dude, I think I’ve grown up!” he informed me, nodding his head quickly with a huge grin.

“What?” I asked in disappointment. Louie couldn’t grow up. He was like Peter Pan. “What makes you say that?”

“I’ve been having a hard time masturbating to fictional characters,” he said, still grinning like an idiot.

I felt a weight lift off my chest. I thought he meant he was going to be more serious. This just means he won’t be stealing any more books from my Anime collection.

“That’s only because I walked in on him listening to Enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk,” Mason said loud enough for me to hear him.

“Are you serious?!” I asked in disgust. I had once walked in on Louie when he was jacking it. It was terrifying. He was the baby of the group; he wasn’t supposed to know where his own junk was.

“See? Since he walked in on me, I got so scared I couldn’t do it anymore,” Louie shrugged.

“Congratulations?” I really didn’t know what else to say for this certain occasion.

Louie nodded, still wearing a cute little grin.

I caught a glimpse of the famous red hair on the other side of the van. Shaun was standing next to Mason, pulling out snowboards and plastic Wal-mart bags.

You never know how much you’ve missed someone once they are standing right back in front of you again. Shaun had pissed me off plenty the past few months, but the break between us defiantly made me forgive him for whatever the hell he did. I missed him, and wanted nothing more than to hug him.

And that’s what I did. He didn’t notice I was outside waiting for him. When he was clear of the van and onto the soft lawn, I charged at him, and tackled him to the ground in a massive bear hug.

“Oh my God!” he choked. He hit the ground so hard, that it knocked the wind out of him.

“I missed you so much!” I squealed, kissing his forehead and cheeks. God, One side of me couldn’t believe that I was just jumping into his arms after how much of a dick he was, but the other part of me couldn’t believe how much I had missed him and never wanted to be away from him.

“I missed you, too Candace!” he coughed, wearing a goofy smile.

I didn’t care if Natalie was around to see this or not. Shaun was smiling, which means he didn’t really care that I was abusing him with my love. If she was around, I hope she saw what was going on.

“Why are you back so early?” I asked, sitting upright on his chest.

“Yeah, Shaun. Why don’t you tell her what happened? Mason snickered, showing his huge teeth.

“That’s what made it THE BEST VACATION EVER!” Louie shouted again, making goofy faces and head banging.

I raised my eyebrows at Shaun. Apparently, something happened that was either really funny, or something that go them into so much trouble they were kicked out of the state.

“I’ll tell you in a minute,” he said, his smile fading a bit. “Let me help Mason get some of his stuff inside.”

I took the hint and climbed off him. I went back into the house to look for Scotty. I saw him standing in the backyard. I stood beside him, leaning on the porch gate.

“Since when do you smoke?” I asked, giving the cigarette in his hand a disgusting look.

“Since when did you forgive Shaun?” he snapped, looking directly at me and taking a drag.

I winced at the growl in his voice. Scotty was rarely pissed at me. If he was, he never showed it.

“I never said I forgave him,” I replied darkly.

Scotty raised his eyebrows at me.

“Shaun is here!? OH MY GOD! Let me go tackle him and dry hump him on the lawn!” he mocked in a high-pitched voice, putting a stupid giddy smile on his face.

“That is not how it went down,” I growled.

“It should’ve. You practically mauled him,” he spat, taking another drag of his cigarette.

“Why are you being such an ass?” I shouted. It was uncalled for him to be so rude to me. He had never been this way towards me, ever.

“Uh, I don’t know? Maybe because I’m hurt?” he scoffed.

“I’m not allowed to be excited that my best friend is back?”

“He’s not your best friend,” Scotty mumbled, looking down at his hands. “He’s more than your best friend.”

“He is so my best friend! He’s nothing more!” I yelled. That was true. He wasn’t anything more than my best friend, yet.

“Bullshit!” Scotty shouted. “You love that curly headed fuck and everyone knows it!”

“Exactly!” I roared. “You knew this day was coming, so why are you being such a bitch about it now?! You shouldn‘t be hurt at all!”

By the look on Scotty’s face, I thought for sure he was going to hit me.

“Really? You Serious?” he asked, nodding his head furiously. “I shouldn’t be hurt because the whole time we were together you were thinking about him the whole fucking time?!” he hollered back.

“I told you that!” I shouted. “I told you everything! You held me when I cried about it! Don’t fucking act as if you didn’t know shit about it when you were there the entire Goddamn time! There is no reason for you to be hurt!”

“Yeah, because you weren’t sitting there telling me how you were going to give up on Shaun. How you were so sick of his shit and you couldn’t handle him anymore. How you should be happy when you had a good guy waiting for you. Yeah, you never said any of that!” he yelled sarcastically, rolling his eyes and taking a puff from his cigarette.

“I did say all of that, yes,” I admitted. “But you were right there when I said that. And you said you knew I was bullshitting you! You kept telling me that I had to be with Shaun. That you weren’t right for me and that we weren’t meant to be together. So don’t--”

“Well then I guess we both fucking lied then, huh?!” he interrupted.

I didn’t know what to say to that. All this time he was pushing me to be with Shaun, and he was lying about it. He just wanted to make me feel better. I didn’t know if I wanted to hit him or hug him.

Scotty stared at me, waiting for a response. When I didn’t give him one, he turned his head to look forward and snorted.

“You said you knew what you were doing,” I muttered.

“Lied,” he blatantly stated.

“Said you wouldn’t be hurt.”

“Lied.”

“Said that I should not worry about you after this.”

“Lied.” The way he was saying it, it was like he was trying to sing a song.

“You said you loved me,” I said quietly. I didn’t want to know what he was going to say, but I couldn’t move away from my spot. I felt my cheeks bleed from the inside because of nervousness.

“Now that was true,” he said, blowing out an insane amount of smoke from his mouth.

I swallowed the hard knot in my throat. I was scared he was going to say no, and leave me thinking I had wasted even more time on someone who lied to me.

“Was?” I quoted.

“I still love you,” he snorted. “I’ll always love you, Candace. I’m just super pissed.”

“I know,” I mumbled. Suddenly I lost my voice somewhere. “I’m sorry.”

Scotty noticed my lack of speech and looked my way. I avoided his gaze by directing my eyes to the concrete. I didn’t want to look at him. I just wanted to go somewhere else. Maybe Louie and I should go take a vacation to Mexico and build sand castles to live in.

Scotty sighed and flicked his cigarette off the porch railing.

“Don’t do that,” he croaked.

‘Don’t do what?” I asked, my voice failing.

“Cry.”

“I’m not,” I assured him.

“Look at me,” he commanded.

I shook my head, and continued to look at the ground.

He wrapped his arms around me in a hug, kissing the top of my head and rubbing my back.

“I’m sorry I blew up,” he said sweetly. It was scary how he could go from explosive angry to sticky sweet.

“No, Scotty. I’m the bad guy in this whole thing. You have the right to be mad,” I told him. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“What ever makes you happy,” he whispered. “It won’t bother me whoever you chose.”

“You’re lying again!” I shouted, playfully punching him, even though I was pissed.

“I know, I know,” he laughed. “But it makes the cut off a lot easier when I say that.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, growing stiff.

“You’re not going to chose me,” he said confidently.

“You don’t know that,” I mumbled to myself.

“Sure I do,” he shrugged. “Just tell me one thing.”

“What?”

“Better sex. Me or Shaun?” he requested.

I couldn’t help but laugh. Boys and their sex!

“You,” I admitted.

“That’s all I needed to know,” he grinned.