I Thought You Could Never Love a Monster. I Was Wrong.

I felt like shit. Completely. No, that was an understatement. I was sore all over. It was mostly my stomach that had the most pain. I didn't remember much of what happened.... when?

I groaned as I tried to move. I couldn't. I must have been strapped down. But when I opened my eyes carefully to look down, and nothing was holding me to what was a hospital bed. Which happened to be in Carlisle's office. Was he always this prepared?

I sighed, trying to pull my arms up. They felt heavy, like gravity had taken over and used all of its energy to push the force down on my body.

"Edward." I whispered, my voice was dry and quiet. Edward came into the room quickly, by my side at once.

"Are you alright, love?" He asked, concerned. I nodded, taking a hold of his hand.

"What happened to her?" I asked.

"She's gone, we killed her. She won't ever hurt you again." He assured me, kissing my forehead.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered. I could feel something wet drip down my cheek. I was crying, but quietly.

Edward shook head head, grasping my hand. "Do not apologize for a fault that I had caused. Please do not." She begged, looking into my eyes.

"Okay." I said simply, looking at him. "What about Bella?" I growled humanly at her name.

He sighed, "She is gone. I'm terribly sorry for what I had done. For the pain that I caused you, Remy. I feel horrible, and extremely disgusted with myself. There are so many ways I could explain how I feel. Dreadful, horrid, awful. I'm such an horrendous monster. Remy, I understand if you do not forgive me." He simply whispered.

I felt just as bad. I saw his face, and looking into his eyes they showed emptyness inside. But also a dire need for forgiveness, which I could do nothing but forgive him. I loved him, with all of my being.

"I do forgive you, Edward. Just promise me something." I winced in pain as I moved to look at him better.

"Anything." His face was close to mine, his cold breath blew around my face. I could feel the happiness and shock rotate through my body.

"Please, promise me that you will never leave me, and to never hurt me again." I whispered, but I tried to make it sound a little bit harsher, so he knew how serious I was.

"I promise, love." He kissed my lips gently before getting up.

"Where are you going?" I asked frantically.

"I need to get Carlisle to check on you." He stated simply. Smiling at me, he left the room.

I looked up at the ceiling, just thinking about everything that I have gone through. I felt at ease with the thought that me and Edward were going to be fine once more. I felt great, now.

Then I thought about the music thing. I wanted to get back into that, to which I would. I'd find Becka at school and ask her if they were going to have anything go on next week or something. Usually bands played downtown and the bar. Difficult to say that teenagers performed there, but they did. Guess I'd find out about performing with them later.

It randomly popped into my head, though. The whole music thing. I kind of gave up when Edward had been taken away from me. But now I felt better, and I was going to try again. I would do just classical piano, with Edward. I'd go back to singing with Becka's group. Hopefully.

Then a certainrecent memory came back into my head. I could smell the sweet, rich scent of weed. I felt my crave enter my head. I needed it. Maybe not now, but I'd find a way to get it. I know, I got my guy back, but that didn't mean I had to stay with him every single ounce of every single day, right? Right, so when I was healed, I'd find my espace again.

Carlisle and Edward walked in, talking amongst themselves. Then Carlisle looked at me, smiling tightly. "Let's get you off these machines. You've gotten your color back already." He said, taking out my IV and disconnecting me to machines.

"How am I doing, Carlisle?" I asked.

"Well, I stiched up the cuts. The stab wasn't as far as I thought, which is a great thing. You'll be able to go back to school tomorrow." He explained.

"Wait, how long have I been out?" I was shocked. I mentally counted in my head, but came up with nothing.

"Since Sunday. It's not Thrusday. So, about four days." He answered. Nodding, I turned over in the bed, wincing slightly as I got my feelin back.

"You're going to be sore, but that's what pain killers are for." Edward mused, kissing my forehead.

"Thank God for pills." I smirked, mumbling into the pillow.

"What the hell does he want?" Edward hissed. I looked up, confused.

"What?" Confusion on my face.

"Jacob is here." He stated, staring straight at me.

"Where is she? Heard that leech tried to kill her!" Jacob ranted on from downstairs. I could faintly hear Alice and the others trying to calm him down, then explaining to him what happened.

"He's coming up." Edward said quietly.

"Okay." I shrugged. Jacob came into the room, shirt off, and only wearing cut off jeans.

"What the fuck happened, Remy?" He asked, coming over to my side. His face churned, becoming a face of worry.

"I'm one for being attacked, i guess." I smirked, trying to joke with him. He didn't find that funny.

"You know how fucked up Paul is right now? He could come, cause he knew he'd lose control and cause problems." Jake explained.

"I'm sorry. I was stupid, and reckless. I won't piss off another vampire again." I grumbled.

"Wait, you pissed of that leech, and that's how she ended up slicing and dicing you?" Jake growled.

I shrugged, looking over to see Edward and Carlisle completely in shock. "Well..." I started, looking at my hands.

"Remy, spit it out." Jake muttered, clearly pissed.

"I felt free, I guess. I felt that no one could hurt me. I don't know." I shook my head, not even sure on what I was saying. "I guess I wanted her to kill me...." I trailed off. I didn't want to even glance up once to see the looks on my best friend's face, or my boyfriend's.

"Remy, are you fucking nuts?!" Jake started to tremble.

"Jake, calm down, or leave." Edward said calmly. Jake suddenly stopped shaking and controlled himself.

"Remy, why on earth would you..." Edward trailed, realizing why I want Victoria to kill me in the first place.

"I couldn't live without." I whispered, biting down on my bottom lip. I heard Jake groan and I felt the bed move alittle I looked up tos ee Jake walking out.

"Jake, what are you doing?" I asked. He turned to look at me, pain on his beautiful face.

"I need to leave. I'll see you soon, hopefully." He hesitated before coming over to me and kissing my cheek, then he left.

I sighed, feeling horrible. Edward took my face in his cold smooth hands, forcing me to look up at him. He looked like he was going to cry, but that was impossible for him.

"Remy, love... I'm so terribly sorry. I am truely, dreadfully sor--"

"Don't say you're fucking sorry. I was the stupid one here. I mean, yeah you were a fucking ass to go after that stupid chick who didn't know how to form a damn sentence." I ranted. "So no, you shouldn't be as sorry as I am. I love you, that's all that matters." I looked at him serenely.

Nodding, he kissed me passionately. "Alright. And I do in fact, love you too." He whispered.