Eyes of Light

I expected to fall off my bed any moment, a book falling off my chest and onto the floor. It didn’t though. I, Lonnie Stewart, was being pushed up against the tree with Nicholas Jonas standing in front of me, his eyes boring onto mine. And I, Lonnie Stewart, just witnessed Nicholas Jonas tell me he loved me. Someone get me a pen, I’m writing this down.

I stared at him with too many emotions to count. I was angry, of course. Nick wanted to see if he could get rid of me. I was shocked because I didn’t expect any of those words to come out of his mouth; I didn’t even expect him to ramble. And I felt those butterflies bouncing around in the pit of my stomach and those tingles crawl through my body, reaching my fingertips and my lips almost instantly. I stared at him with full on shock, realizing that he was saying that I loved him too. Did that mean that, with every action, he could feel the way I felt about him? I wasn’t even completely sure if love was what I was feeling, but apparently it was. It wasn’t so bad.

“D-did you mean all of that? All of what you just said?” I whispered, feeling my breath fall from my lips. I had to push the words up my throat. I thought my heart was going to fall out as I spoke.

He opened his mouth--once, twice, three times, shutting it after each attempt to speak. He pursed his lips, his grip on me tightening. I could feel the rough tree bark sticking to my shirt, his body pushing farther into mine without even thinking. He was lost. He didn’t know what to say. I could tell he didn’t want to answer my question; everything he had just said was way too forward for him. I didn’t expect him to mean it…

“Yes,” he whispered suddenly, his voice barely audible. I blinked, surprised. I found that my heart was thumping even louder now, and my mind was spinning like it would never stop. I wasn’t quite sure it would. “Yes, I meant it,” he finally breathed, setting his face to a stone like domineer, my own look confused.

“You… do?”

“Yes,” he growled in frustration, shutting his eyes tight. Oh, now he just realized everything he had let out? I grinned. “Lonnie, don’t you dare-”

“Oh, Nicholas; Nick, Nick, Nick…” I sighed, shaking my head with amusement. This was… big. This was epic. This was material I was so going to use over him. I giggled. “I am so going to hold you to this, to all of that.”

“You know, that’s why I never want to tell you anything. You never forget one word that anyone says. You always have to go and bring something up and-”

I leaned forward and quickly pecked my lips to his, shutting him up completely. The cool air swirled around, making me shiver, and I clutched his shoulders as he held me against his warm body and the tree. His eyes were wide, as were mine, and we stood there.

“Now how do you like it? Being shut up with a kiss…” I muttered, trying to mask how flustered I was. I knew Nick could hear it. Either that, or he could feel my nervousness. I was pretty sure the squeak in my voice gave it away.

It was silent for a long moment, the emotion in his eyes swirling just as much as the leaves in the wind. It was like there was a battle in his eyes--his hard, stern, blank and soft eyes. I began to chew on my bottom lip, blinking a few times when my hair began to hit my face. He licked his lips and gulped inaudibly. He scrunched up his nose and then sighed, cocking his head. I had absolutely no clue what he was going to say. I never knew when it came to Nick.

“I don’t know,” he murmured, giving a light shrug. “You might have to try it again, just so I get the gist of it.”

I didn’t know whether or not I saw a hint of a smirk play those compelling lips, or if I was just imagining the way they twitched and the way his eyes sparked a little gold.

“Are you inviting me to kiss you, Jonas?” I question in slight up, quickly pushing my hair away. I gripped his shoulder tightly, afraid that he’d pull back and let me fall. I gulped.

“That depends, Stewart,” he challenged, narrowing his eyes. Did he lean closer?

“On what?” I asked quickly. It was the same voice I used when I was six years old and still believed in Santa Clause, asking my mother when he’d come to give me my presents. I just didn’t really know what to think.

He lips broke out into a smile suddenly and he pulled back. I squeaked, my legs dropping from around his waist, my feet hitting the dirt. I pulled my arms away from him reluctantly, still trying to sniff back the rest of my unwanted tears.

“If you can catch me.”

Before I even comprehended what he was saying, he took off running. He was fast; the cheater. I huffed and began to run, realizing I’d never make it. I’d trip on a tree root or get my foot stuck in a bush. Slowing down some, I shut my eyes and focused on catching up to him. It was a long shot, but it was worth a try. A few seconds later, I felt my breath being taken away, and it felt as if I were flying through the air. It felt like everything went silent, like I could see the trees flashing before my closed eyes. I let out a scream and hit something quickly, a gasp filling my ears, followed by a groan. My eyes snapped open just in time to see Nick fall over, his hands gripping my waist tightly. I didn’t hit the ground. I hit his chest, and he groaned.

He peered up at me through his messy curls, his eyes wide, surprised. I tried my best to smile, but I knew I was blushing instead. My eyes met his and he sucked in air, questioning me.

“Did you just…”

“Yeah,” I breathed, realizing that I had just flown through the air. It was so cool! I grinned, happy to find another way I could use my powers. If I could get through the black magic, I would be okay… we’d be okay.

“Lonnie, that was sort of awesome,” he mumbled, doing his best to prop himself onto his elbows. I stayed locked on his lap, not bothering to tell myself that I needed to get up. I spotted a few leaves in his curls and smiled, bringing my hands up to pick them out. He watched me like a hawk, his eyes following my hand until they disappeared into his thick curls. I let the dried leaves flutter to the dirt, his cheeks flushing a light rose color. “Thanks,” he grumbled, trying to shift again.

I bent down and quickly kissed his lips, feeling like such a kid, like I needed to pull back in case I’d be caught. Nick pushed forward though, like our lips were glued together, his hands seeming to find a permanent spot on my waist. I had to take it in now--the feeling of his warm lips moving hesitantly against mine, his hands tightening on me, just because I knew he wouldn’t be as open tomorrow.

When he did pull back, I giggled, catching his eye. “You leaned in so I’d keep kissing you,” I explained, giggling again. He blushed even brighter this time, narrowing his eyes.

“No I didn’t.”

“And you think I’m the bad liar, yeah,” I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “Just admit it Nick. It’ll be less embarrassing.” Didn’t he say that to me once? Yes.

I continued to giggle until he pushed me off his lap, my butt hitting the ground, and I groaned. I opened my mouth to protest, quickly gasping when his fingertips found my sides again… just like in the hallway. My eyes widened and I began to squirm as he smirked, squealing and begging for him to stop.

“That’s not fair!” I yelped, doing my best to get away from him. He let me crawl for a moment before his hand found my ankle, yanking me back with one swift movement. “Nick!”

He chuckled, the sound light and musical--almost unknown. It made me smile even wider, my eyes shutting as my body shook with laughter.

“Stop!” I whined, dragging out the word between laughs.

“Why should I?”

“B-because; you s-said all those n-nice things about m-me,” I stuttered, trying to breathe. He sighed heavily, his smile still in slight tact, and stopped. I gasped for air and swallowed all I could take. I tried to pull my twisted shirt back into it’s right position, but stopped once I noticed Nick’s eyes flicker to mine, the intensity something I wasn’t used to.

“You can’t always get what you want,” he mumbled lowly. I could feel his warm breath hit my lips, the contrast from the wind around us making me shiver. I knew he was leaning in, slow, like a cute turtle, and I smiled. Quickly pulling back, I reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head forcefully, making him flop to the ground with a yelp.

“What are you doing?” he practically shouted. I giggled and shot up, running in the opposite direction. I could hear him shuffle from behind me and I continued to push forward, wrapping my fingers around his thin shirt. It didn’t take long for his body to smack into mine, tackling me to the ground forcefully, but in a weirdly gentle way too.

“Nick!” I screamed, covering my mouth when I realized how loud that was. He seemed amused when he surfaced above me, quirking his eyebrows.

“And why did you just take my shirt and run?” he questioned, shaking his head.

“Because you tried to kiss me,” I grinned, getting him to purse his lips.

“No I didn’t.”

“Quit lying. It’s completely unattractive,” I lied. I hoped he didn’t realize how fast my heart was fluttering, like a mile a minute as soon as a crooked smile graced his lips.

“So, in a way, you’re admitting that I’m attractive to you?”

“Well, I guess so; but it’s not as bad as saying 'you turn me on',” I giggled. This was a new record: Nick Jonas just blushed again.

“You are the weirdest person I will ever meet,” he breathed, staring at me with a mixture of disbelief and embarrassment. I took a moment to stare into his soft eyes, holding my breath. His curls blew in the gentle breeze, his expression… different.

“I know, but you love me,” I smiled softly, my voice barely above a whisper. I felt embarrassed to say it, but I’d get whatever I could out of him. I just wanted him to know he could talk to me, that I’d be there even when he didn’t’ want me to be… literally. He looked at me with thought, lifting one hand off the ground to scratch his head. He was trying to evade the subject.

“Yeah, I guess I do” he muttered, biting his lip.

“You can’t take back what you said,” I responded quickly, almost frantically. I tried not to think of myself as pathetic, but it was hard to get anywhere with Nick. We needed progression and I was determined to keep it moving, to keep up on the same page instead of having him skim backwards.

“I wasn’t about to,” he admitted, tensing his shoulder muscles. I released my breath, swallowing the lump in my throat. I had a question, a very, very important question… to me anyway.

“N-nick?” I whispered, clearing my throat. He gave me his ‘what now’ look and began to sit up, stopping when I grabbed his shoulder. “Does that mean we’re going to try this? Try… dating?” The words left my mouth with a bit of work, my cheeks flushing as I stared into his eyes. I had never had a recurring boyfriend before. Actually, I never recalled having a boyfriend. What better way to start than with your soul mate?

His usual silence followed, and then he let out a deep sigh, sliding out of my grip. He held out his arm, helping me up onto my feet in a swift tug, and grabbed his shirt from me. I tried not to stare… but I couldn’t help myself. Luckily, he was too wrapped up in staring at his hands, occupying himself by toying with the shirt. His actions seemed almost nervous. He opened his mouth a few times, just like earlier, and then pursed his lips. His eyes met mine for a brief second. I watched him pull the shirt back over his head, the material resting snuggly on his toned chest. His fingers ran through his thick curls out of habit.

“I’ll think about it.”

That’s all I needed.

[&&light]

We didn’t go back to Eve’s or our little hideout. Neither of us thought about homework or sleep as the sky began to darken, the sun ready to set. Nick wanted to look around. He wanted to get a better look of where the black magic would attack--in my dream, anyway. We still had to look for the “lost” Jeremy and Lucas, but that would come soon. Sooner than I wanted… but I had to stay strong.

I toyed with my golden orb with one hand, smiling to myself as Nick held onto the other tightly, his fingers laced with mine. He hadn’t spoken anything more of my question, but he wasn’t totally distant, either. I just wondered when exactly I would be able to get Nick. Would I ever comprehend his complex mind?

“You’re going to need to practice a little more,” he muttered, stomping over a large root. I tripped, knocking my cheek on his shoulder.

“Ow,” I groaned, tightening my grip on his hand. He turned around, sighing heavily.

“Maybe we should start with walking: try not to trip.”

“Ha-ha,” I muttered, rubbing my cheek. “Maybe your shoulder shouldn’t be so muscular; it hurts.”

Nick rolled his eyes and leant forward, his warm lips meeting my skin softly. He placed a sweet kiss there, leaning back just enough to look at me blush. Maybe I could work on acting normal every time he touched me.

“Now, I was thinking… you’ve got determination, and your powers are already strengthening. Now you need to make it personal.”

“Why?” I questioned, clearing my throat. I pulled my hair back and made sure I wasn’t about to trip when he began to walk again, this time at a slower pace. He stayed by my side, our closeness seeming to be at another level. Not much of a jump, but just enough to give me hope that everything he said back there did in fact mean something. I didn’t want him to say he loved me and then take it back. That’d be the worst. But even Nick wasn’t that harsh; maybe he was that hot, but not that harsh. I giggled at my own thoughts, quickly quieting down when he gave me a weird look.

“Giving into your feelings makes things easier, it puts you on a whole new level,” he explained, rubbing his neck with his free hand as he led me deeper into the forest. I listened to him intently, feeling like there was a new meaning behind his words. “If you have a motivation and you focus on that, you can conquer anything.”

“Like love conquers all?” I asked quietly, getting him to glance over at me, a ghost of a smile playing at his full lips.

“If you want to look at it that way, sure.”

“So… if I focus on keeping you safe, then you believe I can do this?” I knew it was a risky question, the shock on his face told me so.

“Is that what you’re doing? Focusing on me?” His voice seemed to hold disbelief. I nodded. “Don’t do that Lonnie. There are more important things to focus on.”

“But you just said I could think of it as love conquers all, and I love you, so…” I bit my lip as soon as the shaky words left my big mouth, swallowing the recurring lump in my throat as he looked at me, stopping his movements. I did my best to breathe and stay calm, trying not to overreact when I thought I saw a hint of longing in his eyes, but I wasn’t sure.

He looked down to the dirt, kicking at it a little, his face full of concentration. “Am I going to have to start saying that now?” he asked slowly. I did my best not to feel hurt, but I knew he could see it. He could feel it. “I just, I’m not so good with this kind of thing. I didn’t mean to tell you all that at once and I didn’t mean to say that I… that I loved you, it’s just…”

“Did you mean it though? Do you love me?” I whispered, stopping him from saying anything more. I told myself to stop being emotional. “Or are you just saying things to get me off your back?”

“Listen to me,” he practically growled, stepping in front of me. He pulled his warm hand out of mine and placed them on my shoulders. He squeezed them lightly, his face inches from mine, serious. “Anything I say, I mean. I’m not going to lie to you.”

“But-”

“No,” he cut me off, raising his eyebrows. He dropped his hands from my shoulders and continued our locked stare. It was almost impossible for me to look away. I took a deep, calming breath.

“I just want to know if you really meant it-” I stopped, waiting. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“What?”

“Aren’t you going to stop me? Kiss me to make me shut up?” I teased, getting him to roll his eyes. “Well? I’m just saying; every time I start to talk, you kiss me to make me shut up. I’m not saying that-”

“Shut up, Lonnie,” he sighed, shaking his head. I could feel myself pout.

“Well,” I scoffed, trying not to move. He was too strong and ended up pulling me. “I liked it better when you kissed me,” I muttered quickly, almost bumping into him as he stopped abruptly. Before I could say anything else, his lips attached to mine with that same, heart fluttering quickness. It stunned me for a second, hypnotizing me, but I quickly pushed him away. “You know, just because I like it doesn’t mean-”

His lips smashed onto mine again before I could even finish, the tingles getting stronger. The butterflies began to swarm again, my heart thumping in my ears. His lips moved so smoothly against mine, almost roughly as he continued it, but still hesitantly.

I pulled away again, definitely reluctant, but I needed to speak. I pushed him away from me a little, breathing deeply.

“See? There you go again! I don’t understand-”

He let out a groan, a mixture of frustration and something that made my body melt. His lips connected with mine once again, showing how persistent he could be. That was something I wanted to mention and before I got sucked in, I began to pull away. He refused though… and my eyes widened. I tried to pull away again, but his hands gripped my waist, pulling me forward. My hands pushed on his chest repeatedly, noises beginning to work their way up my throat, but… nothing. His lips moved against mine, spreading them with each rough movement, and I found myself getting weaker and weaker. Soon enough, my hands stopped and rested on his chest, the noise coming out of my throat sounding like a whine, but I blushed at the feeling he was giving me. This wasn’t like Nick and I wondered what it was that got him this way so suddenly. It didn’t matter to me though.

He pulled away slowly, his hands still on my hips. I could feel them slide around to my back, holding up all my weight because, if he didn’t, I’d fall right on my face. I kept my eyes closed, my mouth probably dangling open like an idiot. My forehead hit his and I could hear him chuckle breathily, his hand reaching up to slap my cheek lightly. My eyes flew open and I felt completely embarrassed by the way I was staring at him, his face amused, his smirk… beautifully evil.

“Uh,” I stuttered idiotically, my voice cracking. I didn’t bother to move; I couldn’t.

“’Uh…’ what?” he questioned, his own cheeks flushing because of what he just did.

“I… guess you meant it then.”

“I guess so.”

[&&light]

Nick paced the small room, that old, tattered book in his hands. He gripped his curls tightly and mumbled to himself, sighing heavily. I sat on the bed, Indian style, popping gummy worms into my mouth. There was nothing to do but watch Nick and catch up on homework: Nick was definitely more interesting. He sighed heavily and looked like he was about to plop down.

“Hey,” I muttered, swallowing the sour candy. He glanced over, holding the book so tightly that his knuckles began to turn white. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m trying to figure out what exactly will happen if you turn my dad back, and the history behind the council.” I wondered why he flipped through pages like a fan was blowing them.

“Can I help?”

He watched me with wariness, shrugging.

“Come here,” I smiled, uncrossing my legs to pat the spot next to me. He trudged over and plopped down close, but it wasn’t close enough for me. Scooting over, I pretended like I just needed a better look at the book; I had a feeling he knew better. “So what exactly do you know about the council?”

“Apparently,” he sighed, his muscles tense, “the council doesn’t trace back to it’s beginning… or now, for that matter. The members are never documented and neither are the leaders. What kind of idiot doesn’t document records?”

“Calm down wolf boy, gosh,” I rolled my eyes, leaning closer. I rested my hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently--I wasn’t sure where my boundaries were, but I just wanted him to feel better. He didn’t need this stress.

“Wolf boy?” he muttered, his voice distant, his muscles now relaxed. I smiled to myself and moved around to his back, using my other hand to grab his other shoulder. I remembered my mom always doing this to my dad and he loved it. His muscles relaxed even more and he sighed, practically leaning onto me. “Hey, you’re good at this,” he breathed.

“My mom used to do it all the time,” I muttered, clearing my throat. He nodded, turning his head a little.

“You know, you really do look like Rosalind,” he said softly. I wasn’t too used to this tone, but I could be. I wanted to be.

“Really?” I smiled, my glow even brighter as he continued to relax. He nodded slowly, almost dropping the book off his lap.

“I was little when I first met her, but I can see how much you guys are alike. She was pushy when it came to stuff she believed in, but she was more independent, I think. It’s probably because she knew of this world for so long.”

I nodded slowly, even though he couldn’t see it, and bit my lip. Moving my hand up to his hair, I circled my fingers around his curls, feeling him jump a little. And then he relaxed again.

“What about your dad? You think I can do it with just my thoughts?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, not as reluctant this time.

“When do you think I can?” I wanted to do it before the black magic attacked. I knew he could help, and I knew Nick would be more pleasant if his family was back in order and all the work was off his shoulders. He needed to focus on being the new great wolf, putting up with me, and still being a teenager. I felt for him.

“If you’re doing it before the battle, then you have to be careful. You can’t use all your magic or strain yourself. But we can go whenever you want…”

I thought for a moment, knowing I’d want to do it as soon as possible. I let out a soft sigh and twisted myself to a better position, allowing his head to fall on my shoulder; his face stared up at me while I looked down.

“Does this really turn you on?” I giggled, running my fingers through his hair slowly. I watched him bite his lip and narrow his eyes at me. A low sound erupted through his throat and he lifted his hand up, swatting my hand away.

“Don’t even,” he demanded, but his voice was softer, and I smiled.

This was what I wanted; I wanted to be closer to him--I wanted him to say he loved me freely. That was one of my newest goals.