Wanna Tell You How I Feel Inside

It’s been two days since me, Brian, and Jimmy’s ‘confrontation’. Really the past two days have been hell. Endless torturing and bully have been shooting back and forth between Zacky’s group, minus Matt, and me. I told them to straight up leave Jersey, Liv, and Ben alone since there was no reason to pull them into this. They agreed, claiming they’re not worth their time. Then an argument with many profanities occurred. Luckily there hasn’t been anymore fist fights. The only reason why is because the coaches threatened to take Zacky off baseball and the rest off football if a real fight happens. Thank you stupid coaches, that just put more fuel to their fire. At home they throw jokes and poke at me, but the last two days either Mr. or Mrs. Baker have been around so they soon get scowled and sent to the garage to practice with their band.

I let my eyes wander the room again. I was enduring my hour long detention with Mr. Sanchez. All he did was make me do two worksheets and then help grade papers when I finished those in five minutes. It took everything in me to not just change every right answer on Jimmy’s paper. He only got five questions right, but that was enough to let him pass with a seventy-eight. Now I sat with my head on the desk, letting my eyes look around the room. Just as I was about to fall asleep again, Mr. Sanchez slammed a book on my desk.

“Holy crap! What was that for?!” I snapped, glaring up at my teacher. His lips curled back into a smile before he chuckled.

“I was waking you up. Your time is up.”

“You know, there is a thing called waking people up nicely,” I scoffed as I stood and slung my backpack straps onto my back.

“There is also a thing called extending your time.” My lips formed a hard, straight line. I didn’t like this guy even more than before. “Good day Sage.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I walked out the door, making sure to slam the door behind me. I didn’t hear him following me as I hurried to the exit. As soon as I stepped out it I was met with cigarette smoke. I turned my head to the left to see Matt standing there, puffing away. He actually looked shocked to see me. “What are you doing here Matthew?”

“Break from football,” he replied simply. Matt has become more and more distant from me finally. I think he got hit hard in football and it finally registered in his brain I don’t want him. I stole the pack from his hand and pulled out a smoke. He didn’t even protest, just held out a lighter that already had a flame erupting from it. But he’s also been super neutral like this. It’s annoying. I lit it up, nodded, then tossed back his pack. The walk home was relatively short but my smoke was already gone by the time I reached our street. The driveway was empty which let me know Mr. and Mrs. Baker weren’t home.

At this my stomach churned, butterflies raising. It was pathetic, but I was truly afraid of Zacky. He has already showed he obviously doesn’t care what gender you are, he will fight you if he has a problem. From what I’ve heard he’s managed to snap a guy’s arm just by a kick. I didn’t need a visit to the hospital with the lame excuse of ‘I fell down the stairs’. I let out a slight sigh thinking about how Matt said football practice was on for now. So Brian, Jimmy, and Johnny wouldn’t be able to help my torture. I hesitantly unlocked the door and walked in. I quietly closed the door behind me, just listening. No TV, no music, no movement. The next thing I did was quiet ballsy in my opinion.

“Hello? Anyone home?” I called out. It fell silent again. I let out the shaky breath I didn’t know I was holding. I walked into the kitchen where I noticed a note on the counter. Picking it up I knew the note was from Mrs. Baker by the delicate handwriting.

Sage, Mr. Baker and I have gone out for the night. We should be back by nine o’clock. Zacky is at baseball practice and should be home by seven thirty if he goes over to Brian‘s. Please try to not destroy the house. - Mrs. Baker

“Thank you so much lady,” I scoffed. I crumbled up the paper and tossed it into the trash bin. I looked on the wall to see it was already five thirty. I shrugged before heading into the living room. I tossed my backpack on the floor at the edge of the couch. I plopped down in the center, turning on the TV. As I flipped through the channels all I found were sports, news, and infomercials. “How is there nothing on on a Thursday?!”

I turned off the TV before tossing the remote onto the coffee table. I drummed my hands on my thighs as I began to think. Drawing seemed pointless, I had no muse today. Listening to music would bore me. Movies I had no attention for. What to do? A light bulb suddenly went off above my head. I stood and grabbed my bag again. I practically ran upstairs, pausing in front of Zacky’s door. I unconsciously looked around before opening his shut door. It looked just as messy as it did the day I first came, if not worse. I hopped over his bed, quickly grabbing the item in the corner of the room.

Clutching the black object in my hand I ran back to my room, slamming his door shut behind me. Once I was in my room I calmed down, tossing down my backpack. What am I freaking out about? Zacky will be gone for at least an hour and a half. I’m just overreacting. I sat on my bed, adjusting the magical thing in my hand. I ran my fingers over it, a grin appearing on my face. I haven’t held one of these in forever. A guitar, acoustic none the less. After Mom passed away I wanted her guitar, Louie, but there was no room in the foster homes. At least that’s what they told me. Turns out he got sold with the house. I began to strum a very familiar song I always listened to when I was down.

“Turn her over. A candle is lit, I see through her. Blow it out and save all her ashes for me.”

-Zacky’s P.O.V.-

“I seriously don’t get what’s up the coach’s ass. He says I need to work on my swing, but I’m the best goddamn player on our team. He can’t even play better than me,” I bitched. Brian just nodded, probably not even listening to me, “And you’re a pansy bitch who can’t tackle.”

“Uh huh,” Brian droned. I smirked. Told ya.

“Well I’ll see you later dude,” I said as Brian pulled to a stop in front of my house.

“Have fun.” With that Brian drove off to his home down the street. I looked at my watch to see it was only five thirty-three. Coach Anderson had told me to go home saying ‘if I can’t work with the team right I didn’t need to be there’. Was I worried about getting kicked off? Nope. Like I told Brian I was the best player, I wasn’t only saying it to bust my ego. I pushed open the door and knew automatically that Sage was home. Perfect. Bad mood, ‘sister’ around. Time to make fun.

“I’m home!” I called out. No reply. I could hear the faintest sound of a guitar from upstairs. I guess she was just listening to music. Go figure she has no life. I trudged up the stairs, the song “Strawberry Gashes” filling the air. Something sounded different, but I just shrugged it off as sounding different from the closed door. I dropped my backpack into my room and left. I froze suddenly. I turned around and when my acoustic guitar should be was nothing. My anger flared in my chest. She took my fucking guitar?! If she broke it to get back at me there will be hell to pay.

“Watch me fault her. You’re living like a disaster. She said kill me faster with strawberry gashes all over, all over me.” I stormed over to her room, slamming open the door. She jumped, her grip on my guitar tightening. Just as I was about to scream at her it clicked to me. The stereo wasn’t on and Sage sat with my guitar in her hand.

“Were you just playing that?” I asked, shocked as I pointed a finger towards her. She looked down and nodded while she wiped away tears I didn’t even notice falling. As much as I thought I despised her, I could help but feel guilty. Seeing her cry was the think that snapped me back to reality and realize she wasn’t a cold hearted bitch. She had feelings. Whether she showed it or not.

“Here.” I came back from my thoughts to see Sage holding out my guitar. I took it gingerly as she stood to her feet. I was going to tell her something, but I forgot in that split moment. She left and went downstairs leaving me to look like a fool by just standing there. I hurried into my room, placing my guitar back. Just as I was about to head down the stairs I could hear all the guys laughing as Sage and one of them argued back and forth. Oh, fucking Christ. I quickly rushed down the stairs, hoping I could stop anything that might happen.