Wanna Tell You How I Feel Inside

“Nom nom nom.” Brian looked at me from his spot beside me, an eyebrow raised. An apple was in my hand, still untouched. He placed another fry into his mouth and started to eat. Every time he chewed a ‘nom’ left my mouth.

“What are you doing?” I looked up to where Johnny sat on his bed leaning against his headboard. Next to him sat Matt, Zacky laid on his back across the bed. Jimmy was sitting in the desk seat backwards which was across from me.

“Making sound effects. It’s all the rage nowadays.”

“Seriously?”

“Gurgle gurgle.”

“What the fuck was that suppose to be?” Brian asked bewildered.

“It being dissolved by your stomach acids. Well either that or your stomach getting revenge and making you fat,” I replied with a cheeky grin. The guys, minus Zacky who seemed to be asleep and Jimmy who seemed like he thought it was logical, scooted a little away.

“Hey! I’m not Zacky.“ My brother, who still had his eyes closed, lifted his hand to shove a middle finger in Brian’s face. I laughed before stealing one of Brian’s fries, voicing my own ‘nom’s.

“How could you do that?“ He cried dramatically, actually tearing up. I just shrugged, standing to my feet and taking a bit of my apple.

“Where are you going?” Matt asked.

“Stealing your idea. Cartoons sounds entertaining and I know you guys want to say something without me here. I honestly don’t give a fuck so have fun.” I waved over my shoulder and walked out the door, shutting it behind me. I waited a moment before hearing voices breakout on the other side.

“Knew it,” I chuckled, walking away. I hopped down the stairs and headed straight to the living room. I raised my eyebrow when I saw the TV on the news. Matt had turned that off and we had gone straight upstairs after returning with lunch. I shrugged, switching the channel to cartoons with the remote. I plopped down on the couch, wiggling in my spot to try and get comfy.

“God, this is a fucking lumpy couch,“ I muttered. My face lit up with a grin at the familiar blue cat. “Gotta love Tom.”

“Quite a lot. Now can you get off me?” I let out a scream of bloody murder and jumped to my feet as I felt someone’s voice rumble from beneath my ass. I heard a thud upstairs quickly followed by running footsteps. I was on the ground, my heart pounding forty miles per hour. A person sat up from the pile of blankets just as the guys ran in, Zacky in the lead.

“What happened?” Matt exclaimed. One simple look on the couch made everyone’s face fill with annoyance.

“What the hell Mattie?! What did you do?” Zacky came over to lean in front of me where I still sat staring at the person mostly covered by a black blanket. He took it off his head to reveal a boy about my age with black hair messily spiked and blue eyes. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes just to be slapped upside the back of the head by Brian.

“Hey! She’s the one that sat on me! I just wanted to state my discomfort!” This ‘Mattie’ kid defended. Suddenly Matt shoved him off the couch, making him fall to his face. My heart slowly stopped pounding so hard. I took a shaky breath and looked at Zacky who still had a face full of concern.

“I’m fine. Just a little shaken up. Who the fuck is this though?” I asked, motioning towards the kid sprawled out on the ground. I was surprised he made no sound when Matt shoved him.

“This is what I-well now I guess we- have to call a brother,” Zacky replied as he pulled to me to my feet. I didn’t even notice I still had my apple in hand.

“Mattie!” The body didn’t even flinch. Johnny pushed his body, making him flop onto his back. In front of us was a sleeping fifteen year old. If I didn’t see his chest moving up and down I’d think he was dead. I looked at the apple in my hand and then at the sleeping boy. A light bulb seemed to go off in my head. I dropped my red fruit, making it hit him in the mouth. His eyes flew open and he started to cough crazily. Flipping onto his stomach, he coughed harder. Suddenly a white square came out of his mouth shortly followed by red spit.

“..You give us Bakers the greatest first impressions,” Zacky said as he picked up the white square which was a tooth. “It was a baby tooth at least.”

“Who are you?!” Mattie yelled, pointing a finger at me. I slapped it away as everyone plopped down on a couch. I sat down on the floor, Matt sitting next to me and Mattie still laying on the floor in front of me.

“I am Sage. I guess your new sister.” Mattie’s face went blank as he looked over to Zacky who had moved to the couch.

“We’re going to die aren’t we?” We all shared a look with each other before replying in unison.

“Just you.” Mattie’s face fell and he sent me a sarcastic glare.

“It is on!”

“How will you accomplish that when you’re never home?” Zacky asked smartly. My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. Never home? Matt must have caught my expression because he took the time to throw a pillow at Zacky who was starting to fall asleep on the couch. What is with these Baker boys sleeping?! “I’m awake!”

“Not really, but you might want to explain to Sage why Mattie here is always MIA.”

“Oh yeah. Might help,” Zacky said thoughtfully. I rolled my eyes as a light smile appeared on my face.

“Hell no! I wanna say it. You’ll probably get it wrong anyways,” Mattie interrupted. Zacky shrugged before turning his interest back to the TV. “Okay, so we have an older sister named Zina. She’s in college and moved out. I got her room which is the basement but-”

“We have a basement?” I asked in amazement. Slowly Mattie nodded with a stare that showed he thought I was senile. A smile on my face conformed his accusation.

“So anyways, I didn’t like it after about two weeks.”

“How could you not like the fricken’ basement?!” I cut off again. Mattie huffed and crossed his arms across his chest. He reminded me of a five year old trying to tell his mother about the finger painting he did, but she’s on the phone.

“Because I never really wanted it, but it was the farthest I could go to get away from Zacky because he would not give up his room. Can I finish now?” he asked impatiently. I huffed but stayed silent. “So anyways, I now just bounce around between my friends’ places because I don’t like being home. Since I still despise the basement and you have the spare room, I just sleep on the couch when I am rarely home.”

“Ooooh….Wait, do you go to our school?” I don’t know how that’s gunna be but if I have at least one ally it might help.

“Nope.” Well fuck. “I go to the Catholic school-”

“Catholic? You guys are Catholic?” I asked curiously. My mother and I had never been religious. Or political for that matter. My mom always said that it just caused drama and war.

“Yeah. In fact, Zacky used to go with him. That’s where I met him and Jimmy before we just moved on to normal high school,” Matt spoke up from beside me.

“But when they all left I was offered to go too. I, however, didn’t want to be known as ‘Zacky’s little brother’. You get to be his little sister though,” Mattie stated matter of factly.

“Why wouldn’t you want to be known as his little brother?” Mattie scoffed, crossing his arms and staring off at his brother who’s breathing was even letting us know he was asleep.

“Too high or too low of expectations. You have to good in sports or you have a bad attitude and horrible grades. I’d rather not be expect much or little of. I like to keep in the middle, just assumed to pass. I wish you the best of luck though.” I looked at our brother and suddenly dreaded going to school. What if I had to live up to the Baker expectations? I can do the grades and bite my tongue back to put myself in the good on both levels. But what if the teachers can’t even give me a chance? I sighed, leaning against Matt’s arm. Soon I fell asleep to the sound of Matt breathing and orchestral music from the TV.