Confessions

Melly: Early April

I open the envelope, and my expression stays the same as I skim the letter.

“Well?” Michael asks cautiously.

We’re sitting at an empty park near the apartment, as to not be trapped in the apartment with a sulky Lila and silent distracted Victoria.

I re-read the letter, just to make sure.

“I didn’t get in,” I state simply.

“I’m sorry, Mel,” he attempts.

“Sorry?!” I exclaim, wanting to laugh. “Michael, I’m relieved!”

“I thought you said your parents-” he starts, confused.

“They’re going to be furious!” I exclaim, not too worried about it now. I laugh, throwing my arms around him in a hug. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy?” I ask, confused by his silence.

“I am, Mels,” he assures me, kissing my head. “I was just so sure you’d get in. What will your parents say?” I close my eyes, not wanting to think about that.

“That I should’ve studied harder. Or done better on the application. I don’t know. Doesn’t matter.” I stand up, grabbing his hands and pulling him along for a walk.

“How will you tell them?” he questions, grabbing my hand and squeezing.

“I don’t have a clue,” I respond honestly. We walk silently for awhile. “Michael?”

“Hmm?”

“Are your parents coming in for graduation?” I ask, hesitantly. He doesn’t answer for a little while.

“My mum will,” he finally responds. “I don’t know that my dad will, because...”

“Will she hate me?” I wonder out loud. He gives a faint smile.

“I don’t know that anyone can hate you, Mels.”

I smile back, but I can’t help but think they’ll blame me for Michael’s decisions.

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t care what they think,” he assures me. “I’ll find a way to stay.”

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

“What are you so happy about?” Lila grumbles during lunch the next day.

“I didn’t get in to grad school,” I reply cheerfully.

“Your mom’s going to kill you,” she reminds me.

“I know…” I groan.

“What are you going to do?” she asks.

“No idea,” I admit uneasily, already sick of the question. “What about you?”

“What do you mean, what about me? I’m going to New York. You know that.”

“I mean about Butcher,” I clarify, rolling my eyes. She sighs, not saying anything for a bit while she finishes her salad.

“He was my first kiss, you know,” she informs me absently. Randomly.

“Really?” I ask curiously, in between my French fries.

“Yeah,” she nods. “We were six, so I punched him, pushed him into the sandbox, and told him he had cooties.” I snort in laughter.

“So I guess you’ve always been just a bundle of joy.”

“Shut up,” she growls in annoyance.

“There’s the Lila we know and love,” I cheerfully continue to tease. She rolls her eyes.

“My point is…” she continues, as if I haven’t interrupted. “He deserves the same. But I don’t know.”

I don’t know, either.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Jake sits in between William and Sisky while Lila pours out shots for everyone.

Victoria isn’t here – said she had plans with a friend, but I’m still not buying it.

She’s still mad at Lila, and I’m still convinced there’s something going on with her she’s not telling anyone about. That’s Victoria for you.

But anyway, that left us an extra shot glass, and my brother is visiting, so…

He takes forever to think of something, and we’re not even sure he understands our game, so I interrupt.

“I don’t know how to tell my parents I’m not going to grad school,” I say, adding, “Take your shot, Jake.”

A few rounds pass uneventfully until Lila says something that makes Butcher mad so he breaks the order we’re going in to interrupt-

“I fucked up someone’s relationship.” He’s glaring at Lila while he says this, and just by the tone of his voice, I know this night isn’t going to end well. “On purpose. I exaggerated, I made up shit, and I’m glad I did.” He takes his shot and crosses his arms, and Lila’s speechless but glaring right back.

Then everyone is staring at the two of them, waiting to see what happens next while the tension in the room builds.

“Fuck you, Butcher.” She stands up, stumbling. “I’m leaving.” She reaches for her coat and heads for the door, with William following to make sure she makes it home in one piece.

Butcher goes to his room, slamming the door behind him.

The rest of us sit in awkward silence for awhile.

“I’m failing to see the point of this game,” my brother remarks, and I just exhale and close my eyes.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

There’s a knock on the door and I jump up to get it in order to avoid my homework.

It’s Michael – one of his surprise visits that I love.

Before I can say anything, his mouth envelops mine hungrily, firmly attached to my lips until I’m thoroughly lightheaded.

His hands are gripping my waist firmly but gently, and he rests his forehead against mine, closing his eyes while he catches his breath.

His eyes open a few seconds later, and I can see the excitement lighting them up before he even utters the words:

“We’re signed.”