The Disease Called Men

Food tastes better with company, apparently.

Cerise’s signs of denial:
1. Those shifty eyes.
2. Unnecessary babbling.
3. Excessive sweating.
4. Absolute avoidance of confrontation.



“What do you mean you have something to do during lunch?”

I shifted uncomfortably, unsure how to answer the simple question. I didn’t feel comfortable telling my friends my reason on skipping lunch with them, especially if the reason included something to do with a boy. Or something to do with Nikko. For some reason, because Nikko told me he wanted to see me ‘privately’, I somehow felt like I had to keep it a secret. Actually, it was probably because I didn’t want anyone knowing that I had to meet him during my free time. Whenever I met that guy during my free time, things never go down well.

“You know, this and that.” What a useless response. But my answer was vague enough. I wiped my palms on my skirt. Is it me, or is it suddenly getting hot in here?

Lee-Min didn’t look convinced. “Are you hiding something, Cerise? Do you have something you want to tell us?”

See, here was my first mistake: making a big deal out of nothing. “What? N-no! Of course not! I’m hiding nothing. What is there for me to hide?” I laughed at the idea, though it sounded more in denial than any other noises I have ever made before. Great going, Cerise! Even though I was one hundred per cent innocent, I had to make it suspicious enough by denying nothing. What a fool!

I could feel Julia death stare intensify. “Honestly, it’s nothing. Nothing.” I started looking in all directions. Do not make eye contact. Panic began to rise inside of me. “Just some business stuff. You know how it is.” With that, I managed to quickly escape before I could be questioned any further or be guilt tripped into telling all the details.



It was a lovely afternoon. The sky was clear and blue, the air was fresh and crisp. Birds were chirping away. The school’s famous colossal stone fountain in the middle served as an ideal picturesque background. Students were laughing, enjoying themselves, each others company. Yes, it was a lovely afternoon, in fact it wasn’t only a lovely afternoon, it was a perfect afternoon! And I had to spend it with Nikko. Great.

Quickly surveying around the courtyard, I looked for a familiar blob that I would identify as ‘Nikko’. What did he say again, ‘meet me behind the school gardens’ or something? Ugh. Did he not realise how big the school gardens were? I couldn’t find him anywhere. If this was a prank, I’ll kill him.

“Cerise!”

I may or may not have grumbled inside hearing that voice. Turning to the voice, I recognised Nikko. There he was, casually sitting down on a grass hill, already eating his lunch. He beckoned me to come over. Inwardly I groaned. Might as well get this over with. Slowly I trudged my way towards him, secretly hoping that somehow, if I took my time I could escape this. Ugh. This lunch sucked! Spending it with some boy.

Standing in front of him, with both hands on my hip, I looked down at him. “Okay, state your business.”

Nikko looked up at me and frowned. “Sit down. This feels awkward, with me sitting and you standing.”

Though I do admit I rather liked having that feeling of dominance, with me looking down onto him. But he had a point there. I reluctantly sat down. Nikko was already eating his lunch. Great. Now I felt obliged to eat my lunch with him. I slowly opened my packed lunch.

“I’m surprised you actually came.”

Really. Did Nikko have to make small talk? Couldn’t he just state his business so I could leave straight away? I gave a half-hearted shrugged, hoping that he would get the hint and end this useless conversation.

Nikko sighed. “Well whatever. I have something to give you.”

Hearing that suddenly got my interest and I may have gotten a little excited. I immediately turned to Nikko. “Really?”

And I could see Nikko noticed that. Nikko chuckled and shook his head at me. “What’s up with you?” He shoved a crumpled piece of paper to me.

Ignoring him, I placed my lunchbox beside me. I needed to prepare for this little gift. Could it be, perhaps a gift voucher? Money, maybe?

“See?” Nikko grumbled as I opened the crumpled the paper he shoved to me. “I actually do keep my word.”

No notes were present; in fact, I didn’t see the word ‘gift’ or ‘voucher’ or anything. Instead, all I saw was neat handwriting.

Ways to stop the schools combining:
1. Burn down the school
2. Assassinate the principals
3. Accept it and get over it, you drama queen!

Oh. So it wasn’t a gift like what I hoped for. I had to bite down the feeling of disappointment. But honestly speaking, I was a bit surprised. This was something I was not expecting.

“Wasn’t this from ages ago?”

This time Nikko gave a half-hearted shrug.

“Why the heck did you want to see me alone for this?” Here I was, getting all psyched up for a gift – only to find it was just for a mere piece of paper! Ideas. On Trees.

“What the hell? You don’t need to make a big deal out of nothing. It had nothing to do with the others, so I don’t see why I should tell them.”

Oh, I get it. Since I managed to blackmail Nikko into doing something, he actually did it, but at the same time, he didn’t want people knowing. Huh. I frowned. “It just seems suspicious, that’s all.”

“It’s only suspicious if you make it suspicious.”

“Anyway,” Nikko looked away and coughed. “I wanted to also… apologise.”

“Huh?” That caught me off guard. I immediately turned to him. Nikko stared ahead.

“Just letting you know, I was joking before. But even so, I shouldn’t joke about that sort of things. I know, it isn’t acceptable. So… I’m Sorry.”

“What are you talking about?” I leaned towards him. Although I was inches away, he still avoided my eyes. Suspicious! “What did you do this time?”

Nikko shook his head and slowly turned to me. “Are you dense? I’m saying sorry about the comment I made about your thighs! I was being jerk, okay.”

Ohhh. I couldn’t help but grin at this earnest Nikko. “My thighs? You were looking at them? Pervert. I should report you.”

I didn’t know it was possible, but Nikko’s face went bright red. “No, I – ”

“And what is this?” A low voiced drawled.

I knew this voice. It was that Travis boy. I exactly knew it was him, on the account of, well I remembered he was another student who was highly against the co-ed idea. I guess you could say I regarded him as a kindred spirit. Sort of. Maybe.

Travis scoffed at the sight of Nikko and me. Or maybe it was aimed at me. Or Nikko. I don’t know, but from what I can tell, he didn’t look pleased at all in what he was seeing. It may be because we looked like a scene from one of those high school promotion magazines. You know, the ones with a girl and guy sitting together at lunch. Promoting co-ed. Gross.

“Oh,” he drawled, giving Nikko a disgusted once-over, “it’s you.”

Or maybe he just didn’t like Nikko. That might be it.

“On a date or something?” His tone was of a mocking one.

Okay, I decided I don’t like this guy, kindred spirits and all. I don’t care even if it was a joke, the implications was insulting enough.

Nikko didn’t say anything but I could see his jaw clenched and his fist tightened, only slightly.

Kicking at the ground, Travis sneered, “You’re still playing the good boy game, eh?”

I stared at Travis. Indeed he held the ‘bad boy’ look going on, with his dark unkempt hair and dark careless eyes, but something about him… well, something about him intrigued me. And not in the good intrigued, but the bad-what-is-his-problem-intrigued.

I rolled my eyes at him. Really. What did girls see in this? “Why can’t you just be a good boy and play dead?” Whoops. Unoriginal and immature, maybe. But this guy was annoying!

Nikko looked at me, but didn’t say anything. I guess he was sort of, well, surprised really. And I guess I was too. I never really liked being in dramas.

Travis turned to me and looked at me. Like, he was actually looking at me, acknowledging my existence, maybe. The moment passed and he just shook his head, in a dismissive manner. Some impression I gave. “Really, this is all just bullshit.”

You’re bullshit! But I caught myself before I said it. This was not my fight and I definitely did not want apart of it. Not that Travis would include me, anyway.

“This co-ed business, this combining of school business. Everything!” Travis paused and gave Nikko a pointed sidelong glance. “That goes for the student council bullshit.”

In the corner of my eye, I caught Nikko look away. I turned to Nikko. Why didn’t he say anything back? If it was me badmouthing him, I’m sure he would have plenty to say!

But Nikko continued his silence, though his eyes were anything but. I couldn’t really interpret them, but I knew there was some meaning behind those narrowed, dark eyes. It was as if his silence was giving him the last word. And I guess that’s why Travis continued on with the jibes.

“You know what?” Travis continued, “I’m through with it all, with all this bullshit. Brookfield isn’t what it used to be.” Travis looked right at Nikko, “It’s pathetic, really.”

“What do you want?”

My head instantly turned to Nikko. Whoa! He speaketh!

And this must have surprised Travis, because he only managed to blink back.

“If you have nothing else to say, feel free to leave.”

I stared at Nikko. His voice was calm, even and ice cold.

Travis quickly recovering from his little shock, scoffed at Nikko and shook his head. “What-the-fucking-ever.”

Nikko didn’t say anything but his eyes narrowed dangerously.

Travis turned to leave, but only after he gave me a pointed look.

I blinked at him, not knowing what the look meant, because really, I had nothing to do with this.

“Have fun. With your future and all that bullshit.”

It didn’t take a fool to tell that was sheer sarcasm. And with that, Travis swaggered off.

Nikko glared, clearly annoyed and affected by that guy. I shivered. This was weird. Very weird. I didn’t know what to say or do, so I just began to eat my lunch awkwardly.

“You know,” Nikko suddenly began, breaking the long, awkward silence. “I wouldn’t like it if you hung around that guy.”

Just who did he think he was? My father?! My neck snapped back to him and I stared at him. “Excuse me? Since when did it matter to you who I hang out with? What are you, my over-protective mother?” Not that my mother was very pedantic about such things, but you know.

Hearing this, I noticed Nikko visibly flinched. Probably realising what he had said. “No, Cerise I… that’s not what I meant,” he quickly amended, “I was just generally stating. I wouldn’t like it if anyone hung around him. I mean… he just. He’s no good. Well, I don’t mean that, I mean…”

Now he sounded like a disapproving father. “Huh. Why? Is he some sort of bad influence or something?”

“He’s a person who…” Nikko hesitated for a moment, as if deciding whether to continue or not. I guess he quickly changed his mind since he only settled for a shrug. “He’s just… He… I just don’t want you hanging around him unnecessarily. He’s quite… wild, I guess.”

I stared at Nikko, carefully studying his features. I never noticed it before because it wasn’t visible because of his hair, but he had a faint little scar right above his left eyebrow. I also noticed his face was a bit flushed. Obviously, he felt uncomfortable and highly annoyed, I’m no fool, but I couldn’t help but feel extremely curious. “Sorry mum. Had a bad history with that kid?”

Nikko blinked. His green eyes dangerously narrowed, and I noticed were darker. “No.”

What a liar! “You know,” I said breezily as I folded the piece of paper he had given to me earlier on, “you can’t just judge people on their looks or something as shallow as thinking that they’re…” What was it again he said? I sniffed, “‘wild’.”

I could feel Nikko staring at me intensely. Immediately, I looked away. I could dare not face him with all the intensity. Instead, I fidgeted more with the paper. Maybe I should make an origami crane with it?

To my surprise, Nikko just laughed. It wasn’t a real laugh, not even a ‘ha-ha’ laugh, but the type of laugh you make when just found out you had been ripped off. “You just did not say that to me.”

This time, I turned and looked at him. “What?”

Nikko was shaking his head, he wasn’t laughing anymore, but he still held that ripped off look in his eye. “You, who hates men just because they’re men, can not say shit like that to me.”

Suddenly I felt my cheeks heat up. I felt embarrassed. He didn’t say it aloud, but I knew what he meant.

Hypocrite.

I quickly looked away, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Sh-shut up. It’s not like that’s part of your business, sort of like how him and you are not my business.”

“He’s no longer any part of my damn business.”

Touchy. It was pretty damn obvious the two shared an ugly past or something. I didn’t like where or how our conversation was going, so I decided to opt on something light and humorous. “Really what is his problem? Is he the angry jealous ex-lover you cheated on or something?”

Nikko just stared at me.

“What, did you two break up or something?”

Obviously Nikko did not see the light or the humorous side I was opting for. Or maybe I am extremely socially pathetic sometimes. Because I guess he saw it as an insult since he looked highly offended. “Excuse me?”

Gosh, I never get along with this guy, do I? In a way, I felt bad. Somehow I just seemed to piss him off, even when I didn’t have the intention of doing it. Like right now. Ugh, I just needed to divert the conversation or something. “What do you think of me?” I suddenly blurted.

Pathetic!

That definitely seemed to have diverted Nikko. “Wh-what?”

Meh. I shrugged. Even I didn’t know where this was going, but screw it. I already dug myself a hole, I had nothing to lose, and so I might as well continue. “What do you seriously think of me?”

Nikko stared at me. I could see his green eyes scrutinising me, deciding whether I was being serious or just being a fool.

“I don’t know,” he said, eyes still fixed on me. “I can never keep up with you, I guess.”

But before I could say anything, the bell rang.

As if awaking from a trance, Nikko blinked and immediately looked away.

Well, that was weird. But at least that managed to divert his attention. It was pretty bad with that Travis kid topic, so I was glad I managed to distract him. But deep down I was very curious. So curious, I never realised what I was thinking until I heard myself say, “You know if you ever want to talk about it, or just anything in general, I’ll listen.”

Oh my god. Realisation dawned to me and I felt my stomach drop. Did I just casually volunteer myself into listening to this persons problems?! What the hell, Cerise? What’s wrong with you?!

“Are you okay?”

Inwardly, I slapped myself as I had managed to mentally refrain myself from yelling ‘no I’m not!’. Really Cerise! What have I done? I slowly turned to Nikko. Already regretting my words. “Actually, I – ”

He chuckled and shook his head, “Well, whatever. I guess not all fools are too bad. I don’t mind it.” He looked at me and smiled.

Repeat: What the hell are you getting yourself into, Cerise?!