Cats and Dogs

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“Alright, there has to be a way to get into that house,” I said and stared at the room of wolves as if it was their fault that I was in this situation in the first place.

“We’ve thought of everything already.” Quil groaned as he buried his head under a couch cushion. “And why are we at Jake’s house?” Honestly, I thought that was obvious, but we all know that some things I find obvious are actually confusing, crazy, and just a little bit strange.

“So we can keep our minds focused on the objective.” I answered and gestured to a picture of the currently missing wolf that was sitting on the mantle.

“Alai, I think you’re talking this just a bit too far,” Sam said and nudged Quil to get him to sit up and to get his head out from under the cushion that Sam just happened to be sitting on.

“I’m not taking it too far,” I argued. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to die, if you want me to die than you’re just cruel.” I glared at everyone in the living room and nearly screamed when I noticed who was absent. Hello, I was going to go feral in a week, this meeting was mandatory.

“Where are they?” I asked, not bothering to elaborate on who I was talking about, there were three empty seats and I bet even you could tell who obviously didn’t love me.

“I have no idea,” said Paul, “and I’d rather them be out of sight anyway, those three are nauseating.” The boy did have a point there; it was like being in the middle of some kind of sick soap opera, not one of the goods ones like General Hospital, but a strange one like Days of Our Lives.

“Whatever, they can do whatever they want. We have bigger issues to talk about right now. Like the fact that I’m going to DIE in SEVEN days.” Apparently no one finds this as pressing as I do.

“Stop being a drama queen, have you tried sneaking in through a back window?” That, was the amazing Embry and his stupid questions.

“Yes. I nearly got shot, Charlie doesn’t mess around with burglary in his own home.” It was a very scary moment for me, I have a totally rational fear of firearms and climbing through a window only to find a gun in my face did not go over well with the many deer in the forest. What? I had to take out my frustration on something.

“I’ve got it!” said Jared as he jumped up, knocking Seth and Embry over in the process. “Edward. We can use Edward.” The poor guy has lost his mind, see, I am having an effect on the pack, just not a good one.

“What are you talking about?” I asked and leaned back when the wolf immediately leaned forward, putting his face just inches in front of my own. It’s called personal space, maybe someone should talk to Jared about it.

“Bella thinks she’s still with Edward right?”

“Yeah, she won’t listen whenever he tells her he wants to break up.” I replied and waited to hear whatever great idea that my friend had thought he’d come up with.

“Okay, so we send in the bloodsucker, Bella of course lets him in and then he starts looking around for Jake; but of course he won’t find him because Jake has run away, which he does a lot, have you noticed that?” I had. “Anyway, we surround the house before sending in the distraction and so when Jake tries to run, we’ll catch him.” So maybe he’s not crazy.

“Jared, I think I love you.” I said seriously. “If this works I will be indebted to you for the rest of my life, my first born child will bear your name.” That seemed to make Jared realize how close he was to me and he smiled before taking several steps back and sitting back down on the couch with his friends.

“Jared Black,” Embry said with a strange hand movement, “it has a nice ring to it.” It does, maybe he should marry Jacob, save me the displeasure of doing so.

“Why do you assume my children will have his last name? And while we’re on the topic, what makes you think he’s the father of my kids in this make believe world we’re currently discussing?” I asked, honestly wanting to know how Embry came to that screwed up conclusion.

“…” Embry didn’t seem to have an answer for that, causing the entire room to erupt in laughter, this was also the time that the missing trio decided to reappear.

“I know Alai looks hilarious, but guys, there’s no reason to laugh at her like that. Why are you all so cruel?” Asked Leah and I was glad that no one found that comment amusing.

“They can laugh at me whenever they want since they’re actually trying to help me stay ALIVE!” I said and looked in the direction that they had just come from in confusion. “Why were you guys outside?” I didn’t see them leave, the pack didn’t see them leave; how the hell did they get past us? Because I know they came in along with everyone else.

“Originally, we just wanted to get away from you. No offense, but you’re kind of depressing.” Said Brandon and when I gave him my glare that managed to turn people to stone, he took several steps back and hid behind Edward and Leah. “Anyway, and then we started talking to-“

“Billy!” I exclaimed-not caring that I had cut Brandon off-just as the man rolled through the front door. “How was you date with Sue?” The man had been out with her every night for the past week and every time I ask that question he says the same thing.

“It wasn’t a date, Alai.” He grumbled and I danced mentally since I was once again correct, you’d think it’d get old after awhile but it never does.

“Sure,” everyone said at the same time, causing the older looking man to narrow his eyes in our direction and if he growled I would have sworn he was his son.

“Have you found a way to get Jacob back?” He asked in a poor attempt to change the subject and I turned my head in Edward’s direction before plastering a big grin on my face.

“We have if Edward decides to help us.” I said and was rewarded with a glare from the bronze haired vampire. Now, I didn’t think I deserved that; he should have to help since his girlfriend was the one that screwed everything up. There was no reason for him to get all pissy.

“What do you have in mind?” Brandon stepped protectively in front of Edward, and I laughed at the younger man’s face. Apparently he still believed in the twisted reality that he was the “man” in that relationship; please, any man that spends more time on his hair than I do does not get to make important decisions. It’s a fact of life.

“We’re going to kidnap him,” said Paul and when Billy just about stood up (come on people you know that’s not supposed to happen) I decided to explain in detail, which is what Paul should have done instead being a dog about it. Yes, I can use the word “dog” as an adjective; it’s my life, stay out of it.

“It’s not as bad as it sounds, we’re just going to send Edward in and catch Jake when he comes running out of the house screaming that the apocalypse has come early.” Thankfully I wasn’t the only one that found that funny, everyone laughed, except Edward but he doesn’t count since he’s dead.

“Now, will my son be killed during this… whatever it is?” asked Billy and before I can answer Quil sat up and nearly shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Of course not!” The way he said it –with way too much enthusiasm- would make anyone think he meant the complete opposite.

“Will he be harmed?” Billy continued and Sam decided to answer that one.

“Possibly, but that depends on how stubborn he is and how much he fights us.” Well, Quil apparently lied about us not killing Jake if what Sam said had any truth to it at all.

“As long as he’s alive I really don’t care,” the man said and rolled down the hallway, shaking his head and mumbling to himself as he went. I’m affecting everybody!

“If I do this,” Edward said once Billy was out of hearing range, “Do you promise to make Jake’s life miserable for as long as he lives?” That wasn’t even a question!

“Of course.” I answered and when the vampire shrugged in agreement I immediately stood and headed for the door only stopping when Embry called out from behind me.

“Where are you going?” I turned back around to see that everyone was still sitting or standing in the same spots they had been in a second ago. They were supposed to follow me; I thought I made that clear.

“I thought we were going to get Jake.” I said confused as to what they were talking about. I mean seriously, we had just got done talking about it.

“It’s midnight.” Leah said as if that meant something to me, though I had no idea where she was going with this. “They’re probably sleeping. Why don’t we wait till tomorrow?” Oh, now that made sense.

“Okay, but I get to pick out code names.” This is a mission, therefore we will need code names and I refuse to be called evil bitch. (We all know that’s what anyone else would have named me. Don’t deny it.)

“Fine,” said Seth just a little condescendingly. “If out of everything that has to be planned out, you want to pick out useless names, than far be it for me to stop you.”

“Damn straight,” I said seriously and walked out the front door, having no idea where in the world I was going.