Still Doll

Kanon dizzily walked over to her window and looked out at the outside. The garden was beautiful; mostly roses occupied the green bushes, and the fountain was as all the others she’d seen. A statue of a small angel with water coming out of its hand. She squinted against the light of the sun’s radiance coming through the window and began to turn when she caught something from the corner of her eye.

Kanon looked again and saw it. Rather, saw her.

The little girl from her dreams, whom was currently dancing around the garden’s fountain and appeared to be singing. But she was also the girl from her nightmares. And she was there. Dancing around, singing Lord knows what song-but that was impossible! Kanon only saw her when she was sleeping, and now that she was awake, she couldn’t really make out what was real or just a dream. She had to be dreaming.

But I’m not dreaming, she thought, reminding herself that she had just woken up. It’s too real… Ah! She’s leaving!

“Wait!” she cried out, in a useless attempt to get the girl’s attention. The girl simply skipped along, heading towards the backyard of the mansion. Kanon unconsciously threw a fist at the window, hurting herself in the end. “Please, wait!” she said.

And then she saw another figure heading quickly towards the girl.

It was a man, dressed in all black, and Kanon couldn’t see his face. It was all…darkness. Like he had a shadow protecting his identity. He was quickly walking towards her, and the girl caught sight of him, then stopped. They both looked at each other for a while, before the man kneeled down and pulled out what Kanon thought was…a rose. The girl’s face lit up, and she let herself be carried off until Kanon couldn’t see them anymore.

Kanon stood there, not sure whether she should try to run after them, or even if it was real at all. It probably was just an illusion. But it was like looking at a distant picture… Something she’d seen before. I’ve never seen anything like that she reminded herself. However, somewhere in her heart, she knew it wasn’t true.

“She refuses to see us,” the maid explained, when Alexander asked for the twelfth time that day if Kanon had finally showed herself.

Alexander frowned and nodded before quickly turning towards his study room and shutting the door. Once he turned around, he wished he’d kept insisting a little longer. He sighed and glared at the boy before him. However did he get in there?

“What do you want?” Alexander asked him, rather coldly.

“Why, Alex, are you angry with m-”

“Do not call me Alex, it’s Alexander,” Alexander snapped, grabbing the book Henry had in his hands.

Henry sighed. “You are angry,” he said.

Alexander made a sound that sounded something like “humph” and sat down in his chair. Henry pulled something out of his pocket-a small ball-and tossed it from left hand to right, and he continued to do this for a while, before Alexander finally got tired of it.

“I thought I told you to leave last night,” Alexander said to him.

“Ah, I took that as a small warning,” Henry replied, smiling exactly like the wicked little boy he was. He always had fun making Alexander miserable. And now Alexander was more miserable than ever. Which, actually, was to his doing as well.

“It was not a warning,” Alexander said tiredly, “so please, get it over with and leave. Go back to your treasures and your aunt, who spoils you so.”

“Like you haven’t been spoiled, Alex,” Henry said, ignoring the irritated glare he received in return from Alexander.

“Well, at least I don’t act like I’m king of the world.” Alexander rolled his eyes and started going through his work papers. He had lots of things to do, and he had wasted time instead of fulfilling them. There was the grand opening, the closing deal, the special appearance by him and his aunt, and…

“I’m worried about Kanon, you know.” Henry’s voice interrupted him.

Alexander looked surprised for a minute, before turning back to his cold self. He couldn’t allow himself to feel anything other than anger towards his spoiled younger cousin. Henry was nothing but a spoiled, selfish aristocrat. That was all. “Oh, really?” he said before he could stop himself.

Henry nodded, looking distractedly at the door. “I like her.” He smiled and looked at Alexander. “She’s different. I know there’s an age difference, but when I get older, I will be much more richer and more mature, and I’ll be much more good looking.” By the look on Henry’s face, Alexander thought he almost looked like a normal boy, dreaming of becoming a wealthy man in the future. As if he didn’t have much now.

“Alexander,” he said with a much more gentleness that Alexander hasn’t expected of him, “do you think you can apologize? I don’t want my future bride unhappy because of you.”

“Me?” Alexander said, standing up from his chair. He pointed his index finger at Henry and told him, “You’re the one who’s at fault, here. Because of you, I lost my temper. Because of all your…games and relentless accusations of me actually having feelings for her!” He was yelling now. Alexander had lost his temper yet again, and he couldn’t take it back. This was a sensitive subject.

“Well, by the looks of you now, I say you really do have feelings for her!” Henry shot back, straightening and looking at Alexander directly in the eyes. “I’d say, you’re in love with her,” he added, narrowing his gaze at him.

Alexander stood frozen before him and said nothing. He didn’t know what to say. Before, Henry saying these things were nothing but his younger cousin’s little games to him. However, the intensity and suspicion behind his words left him stricken. As if he was absolutely sure of what he was talking about.

“If you really love her, then do something to fix your mess,” Henry said after a while. He shoved the ball back in his pocket and walked towards the door. “And if she returns the love you have for her back, I’ll understand.” Then he turned back and warned, “But when I do grow up and get much more powerful, I’m coming back, so be prepared, Alexander,” then gently brushed aside his golden hair from his eyes and walked out the door.

Alexander sank back in his chair and let out a shaky breath. Honestly, he thought, how come a thirteen year old can get me worked up like this? But he wasn’t sure that was the case anymore. What he told him-about being in love with Kanon-it didn’t seem that impossible anymore. Maybe it was true. Maybe he did love her. Or maybe he shouldn’t even be listening to his thirteen year old cousin’s words in the first place.

Alexander only knew that he had at least two more problems in his hands: the strange new feelings inside of him being revealed as “love,” and also Henry’s words echoed through his mind. “If you really love her, then do something to fix your mess,” he had said.

Just how exactly was he supposed to do that?