Please Save My Soul

Time elapse: Two Months

It had been a while, not an extremely long time but still long enough since Gerard had let me in. Things were better, Mikey had his brother back and everything was falling into place. Well, for a while everything was falling into place. For a good week now Gerard’s been distancing himself from me, like he’s worried about something but he won’t tell me anything. I’m beginning to think that he was wrong, that we were both wrong. That I wasn’t his soul mate after all and he thought this would be the best way, a slow and depressing departure instead of quick and painful one. I’ve been trying to talk to him but he’s just not there. It seems that I’m the only one he’s acting that way towards too, because Mikey and the guys don’t see it. But it’s driving me crazy! I’m now resorting to keeping a journal to prove to myself that I’m not crazy and all of this isn’t just manifesting in my head, that would be a terrible wake up call. He stopped visiting me too, almost every night he would lay with me in my bed, where he would hold me and sing me to sleep. Demolition Lovers, that’s what the song was, he said it was my song even if he did write it before I came back into his life. Now that I’m alone on nights I remember how much I hated being alone, how much I miss his voice. I don’t know what to do now, if I should keep trying to get answers or just quit. I want him to know he can trust me, I don’t want him to hide from me anymore. I wish he knew how much I loved him.

I looked back down at my writing, all I could think of was how my thoughts could not stick together. I put it away and looked at the house phone, I wanted to call but I didn’t know if he would be there. Deciding that it didn’t matter anymore if he was or wasn’t I grabbed it and dialed their number. It rang a few times before I heard it click and Mikey’s voice.
“Hello?”
“Hey, is Gee there by chance?”
“Um no, he left about a half hour ago. Do you want me to tell him that you called?” my shoulders dropped and I suddenly felt depressed again.
“Uh no it’s okay. Thanks though Mikes.”
“You ok? You don’t sound happy. Is it something I can help with?” I shook my head and realized he couldn’t exactly see that.
“No, it’s just been a depressing day that’s all. Thanks though, it’s appreciated.” he was quiet for a moment.
“Oh wait, he just walked in, one moment. Hey Gerard, it’s Frank..... well he wanted to talk to you,” his voice was muffled now. I guess Gerard didn’t want to talk and he was covering the bottom of the phone so I wouldn’t here their conversation.
“He uh said he can’t talk right now, I’m sorry Frank.” I felt angry for some reason, maybe it was the fact that my best friend was the one apologizing when his brother, my boyfriend should have been the one to apologize.
“No, don’t be Mikey. You’re not the one who should be apologizing.” I stated with a tightness in my voice and hung up. I tossed the phone across the room and sighed in frustration. I was getting sick of this, I wanted it to stop now and if I didn’t get answers then I guess it was over. I couldn’t go through this, I didn’t deserve it. I got up from my bed and tugged on my shoes and made my way downstairs. I walked out the front door without a single glance back and headed anywhere because I didn’t care.

Gerard’s POV

I paced in my room before punching my wall. Not now, I had tried to make sure that this wouldn’t happen. I had strayed away from others and kept a low profile. I turned to face the person on my bed and sighed.
“Are you sure... one hundred perfect positive that he knows where I am?” they picked up their head.
“Gerard he knows, how many times do I have to tell you that?” I ran my hand through my hair and looked at the picture that laid on my desk of him. I had to protect him if it meant hurting him.
“Does he know about Frankie?” he shook his head.
“He knows that you’re with someone that you say is your soul mate. But he thinks you’re blind and intends on proving you wrong.” he explained standing up. I walked up to him and grabbed his shoulders.
“You do not tell him a single thing, do you understand? I will not stand for Frank getting hurt!” his face was stoic but his emotions were naked in his eyes. He knew the seriousness of the situation, even if he didn’t have something as big at stake like I did.
“I won’t let him get hurt Gerard, we’re the reason you were brought into this. We could have told him no, but we didn’t. We owe you this much.” he stated, I nodded letting go.
“Does he know though? Or is that why you’ve been ignoring him? That isn’t a very good thing to do at a time like this.” he stated crossing his arms. I walked over to my desk and picked up the small picture looking at his smiling face.
“He knows the story, but he doesn’t know that Johnny knows where I am. He doesn’t know he’s in danger Jeremy and I can’t bring myself to tell him.” I whispered feeling the guilt wrack me in the chest. If my heart were still beating I’m sure it would feel like it had been shot. I felt his hand give a reassuring squeeze on my shoulder.
“The other two will be here soon, we’ll watch over him Gerard while you deal with Johnny. We’ll do our best to keep him safe, you can trust us with him.” I nodded running my finger tip over the image.
“I trust you, don’t ruin that Jeremy. Or I will kill you, all of you.” my voice was hard as I looked at him. His hand slipped and he nodded before sliding out my window and disappearing.