Please Save My Soul

Something in the back of my mind was pricking, making it’s way to the surface the entire walk to Gerard’s house. My head was thudding, scenes were coming to life behind my eyes and I couldn’t stop them. I knew in my mind, and I could feel it tightening in my chest, but I prayed I was wrong. I prayed that this wouldn’t be the end. Every part of me wanted whatever was happening to just stop. But I couldn’t turn back when I found myself staring at their front door. With a shaky hand I knocked against the wood and waited. Hoping he wouldn’t answer, but he did. He stood there in the door way looking amazing, and I was on the other side looking like a complete wreck.
“Hey, come on in.” he took a step back but my feet never moved. My fingers twitched at my sides and I wanted to walk away.
“No,” it passed my lips, sounding almost like a choked plea.
“What?” his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“Tell me.... I-I know what it is already. So just tell me.”
“Frank, please just come inside, it’s cold out here.” he reached out grabbing my arm, but I pulled away.
“You’re breaking up with me Gerard, I’m not stupid. So say it, tell me you were wrong, that I’m not him. Tell me it’s over so I can stop worrying about it, because it’s tearing me apart. Tell me so I can walk away, so... so I don’t have to wonder what I did wrong.” I stated, holding back the tears threatening to fall.
“Frankie,” he breathed.
“I’m serious Gerard, just fucking say it!” he sighed, falling against he frame of the door.
“I’m sorry Frankie, I thought for sure it was you.... and I was wrong. If I could take back these last few months, I would-if it made you feel better.” he explained.
“I don’t regret anything,” I stated shrugging off his jacket and handed it to him.
“Keep it, it’s cold,” but I shook my head.
“No, I don’t want anything from you.” it fell to the floor in a bundled mess and I walked away.
“Frank! I’m sorry!” I shrugged it off, letting the tears finally slip. Wrapping my arms around my cold waist I cried my way home.

Gerard’s POV

I stood there watching as he walked away. My insides just burning to chase him down, to tell him it was all just a lie to protect him.
“Oh Gerard, don’t worry. He’s still alive isn’t he?” arms circled my waist.
“Mm you smell so good,” he giggled against my neck.
“Get off of me,” I growled pulling away from him. I reached down picking up my jacket, I could still smell him on it.
“You’re very touchy dear. Excuse me if I'm’ finding it hard to see why,” he snatched it from my hands. I swirled around and smashed my fist into his jaw. He fell into the wall, shock causing him to let go. All too quickly he pushed off it of it and had me pinned to the very wall by the throat.
“You better watch it. I was nice when I gave you a choice. I have a short temper and by no means am I against collateral damage. Now, if you don’t start returning what I give you, I will kill him. But, not only your precious Frankie, but your brother and your friends. Now, do you understand me?!” I let out a small ok and he was gone. Sliding down the wall I stared through the open door. I felt the material of my jacket beneath my hand and pulled it into my lap. I slipped my phone from my pocket and called the one person who had been helping me through this.
“Hello?”
“Jeremy? It’s me, look we’ve got a problem.”
“You’re telling me, I thought zombies were real until I realized it was your boyfriend.” it was moments like this that I wished I could feel those levels of emotional pain because I deserved it.
“Ex boyfriend Jeremy... I had to leave him. Which is why I need you to watch him even closer. Johnny isn’t happy and now he’s threatening to kill all of them.” I explained getting up and shut the door.
“I’ll have Austin and Cory come watch your friends and your brother. Just take care of Johnny, we have everyone else under control.” he stated.
“Thanks, you’ve no idea how much this helps. Once I kill Johnny everything can go back to the way it was.” I sighed.
“I know, hurry it up though. Johnny can be really smart.”
“Yeah thanks.”
“K, well then I guess I have some cheering up to do. I’ll talk to you later.” with that he hung up and I moped around the house for hours. I wanted to go to his room and ask him to forgive me, to hold him. But this was the only way. I could only hope that once Johnny is out of the picture, he would still love me the same.