Baby, I'm A Dreamer For Sure

I tried my best to push the bad thoughts to the back of my head when Alex came and picked me up later that night. I smiled at him as I hopped into the passenger seat of his car.

“You’re up for Chinese food?” He asked.

“Yeah, sounds great.” I leaned over the gear stick and kissed his cheek as a greeting. He turned his face and gave me kiss on the mouth before starting up his car again.

We made some small talk on the way to the restaurant and slowly my insecurities were gone again. I had faith in Alex, and I know deep down that he wouldn’t hurt me.

“So who’s coming tonight?” I asked him after we sat down and ordered our food. I was still a little nervous to meet his friends. I really wanted them to like me so Alex wouldn’t have to feel torn between me and his friends.

“Hm,” He sat thinking for a while. “Well, Rian’s girlfriend Kara will definitely be there, Zack and his girlfriend Hannah, Jack is single but he will be there. Caleb and Matt also, I believe. I’m not too sure.”

“Oh, okay.” They were more than I had thought. But I knew everyone except Caleb and Hannah. I knew who Hannah was though, she was a junior just like me, but we had never really talked. I had never heard of Caleb before.

The waiter came with our food and I thanked him and begun eating. “So how come you like Chinese food, but don’t like rice?” Alex asked me with furrowed brows.

. “Rice just isn’t good, noodles are much better.” I simply shrugged my shoulders.

“But rice is like Chinese food, that’s the main ingredient.”

I looked down at my noodles and laughed at him. “What can I say, I just don’t like it.” I smiled.

We talked some more before we left the restaurant and drove to Rian’s house. I discovered it wasn’t that far from my house, just a few blocks. I was still a bit nervous when we walked up to the house and knocked on the door. But Alex took my hand in his and smiled at me making me feel better.

The door swung open and Jack appeared in the doorway. I could instantly tell he was drunk. “Welcome, welcome!” He chanted.

“Don’t scare her away,” Rian pushed Jack behind and appeared in the door. “Hi, Jessica,” He smiled at me making me feel welcomed. He stepped aside and let us enter the house. “Alex, man.” He greeted Alex with a fist bump. “Glad you guys made it, everyone else is already here.”

Alex put his arm around my waist as we walked towards the loud laughter coming from the living room. “Hey guys!” Alex said, catching their attention. “This is Jessica,” He introduced me, even though I already knew most of them.

“I’m Kara,” a blond girl, who Rian sat down next to, said.

“I’m Hannah, Zack’s girlfriend.” Said the other girl.

“Hi,” I greeted them with a small wave. They seemed nice, so far at least.

“And you already know the guys, except maybe Caleb.” Alex said as we sat down on the two only empty seats on the sofa left. He nodded his head toward the, for me, unknown kid, sitting across from us.

“Hi, Jessica.” He smiled and I said hi back.

“So, you guys want anything to drink?” Rian asked and pointed at the coffee table that was full of alcohol, beer mostly. I was a little shocked by how much there was, I hadn’t really thought there would be any drinking tonight, but I guess with these guys there usually were.

“Sure, man.” Alex grinned and grabbed a beer bottle and popped it open.

“Should you really be drinking when you’re going to drive later?” I mumbled quietly to him, hoping no one else heard.

He frowned as he looked at me for a while. “Well, it’s not that far to your house from here, we can always walk, and I’m sure Rian would let us crash if we wanted to.” He smiled reassuringly, then turned to Rian and raised his voice, “Right Rian?”

Rian looked up from his conversation with Kara with a confused expression on his face. “What?”

“You’ll let us crash here right?” Alex repeated his question.

“Sure, dude. My parents are out of town, you can sleep wherever want.” He laughed and then returned his attention to Kara.

“See, it’ll be alright.” Alex smiled at me and took a swig of his beer.

I sighed and decided to let it go. I fixed myself a drink of vodka and sprite and started up a conversation with Hannah, while Alex started talking to Matt.

A few hours later I was getting a little tipsy, as was everyone else. Alex was pretty drunk but I didn’t mind. I wanted him to have a good time with his friends. I had spent most of the night talking to the girls and I could really see myself finding new friends in them, they seemed really nice.

Alex and Jack were jumping around screaming to the music. We stood watching them in amusement. I had never really seen this side of him before. He was never really the center of attention at bigger parties but he sure was here with his closest friends. And I think I kinda liked it.

“What’s this song?” I asked Kara and Hannah. They seemed to know what it was and Alex and Jack sure knew since they were screaming out the lyrics. It kind of reminded me of Sophie, Natalie and I when we were listen to good music, though I would never do that around any other people.

“It’s Blink 182,” A voice from behind me answered my question. I turned around and saw Caleb stand there with a grin on his face. “If you gonna hang around with us, you gotta learn to love Blink. They’re the most awesome band ever.”

Kara scoffed, “Please, Green Day is way better than Blink.”

Caleb thought for a moment then nodded. “Okay, maybe Green Day is better, you’ve heard of Green Day right?” He turned back to me.

“Yeah…” I said. I’m not totally retarded when it comes to music. Caleb nodded approvingly. “Like two or three songs.” I added a little lower.

Caleb looked at me with shock. “You’re kidding me?” I slowly shook my head. “God, common, I’m gonna show you some real music.”

He suddenly took my hand and dragged me over to the computer where the music was playing at. I yelped in surprise but followed him. He stopped the music and that caused some yells of protest coming from the rest of the guys.

Not long after I felt to arms snake around my waist. I turned my head and saw Alex leaning his chin on my shoulder. I gave him a quick kiss on his cheek and he grinned up at me, before I turned my attention back to Caleb and the computer.

“What are you doing with my girlfriend?” Alex asked Caleb, looking down at his hand that was still holding my arm.

Caleb took his hand of hastily and cleared his throat. Then he grinned at Alex. “Your girl knows nothing about music, so I took it upon myself to teach her some.” He put some new music on, but I was too lost in my thoughts to focus on it.

I turned around it Alex arms and wrapped mine around his neck as I looked up at him. “Did you just call me your girlfriend?” I whispered.

He looked a little confused, but smiled none the less. “Yeah, I mean, I thought after the talk we had last weekend that’s what you’d consider us as, together. Or don’t you want that?” He had considered us together for this whole week. And I had been feeling self conscious about that, and for what? He was amazing, this right there, only shows why I love him.

“Of course I do,” I grinned and stood up on my tip toes to reach his lips.

“Great, girlfriend.” He grinned as well and leaned down to give me a deeper kiss.

“Hey.” Caleb poked my side and made us break the kiss. “Focus here, this is important.” I rolled my eyes at him, pouting slightly. He just laughed and then started talking about some band I had to listen to. He ended up making a long playlist full of music that I absolutely had to listen to, according to him, and then sent it to me via Facebook. I thanked him and said that I would check them out later.

When the clock turned two am everyone decided it was time to leave. Well most of us, Jack was already passed out on the floor and was most likely staying the night. I wasn’t really comfortable staying the night because I didn’t know Rian that well, so Alex and I decided to walk back to my place and sleep there and Alex would come back tomorrow to get his car. I wasn’t worried about coming home drunk or with a boy; mom was never hard on those things. She said it was totally fine as long as I stayed out of trouble and never went anywhere alone. And dad never had an opinion at all, he basically let my mom make all the rules and curfews and stuff like that, sometimes I didn’t even think he cared.

After I changed numbers with the girls and some of the guys we said good bye and were on our way.

“I had fun tonight, I like them.” I said as we walked down the street hand in hand.

“I’m glad, and I can tell they liked you too.” He smiled.

We walked the rest of the way, which didn’t take more then five minutes, in silence. But it wasn’t an awkward silence. It surprised me how comfortable I had become in his company in such a sort period of time. Before we got together I had always thought it was awkward being around him because of my feeling for him, which I thought he for sure didn’t return.

When we walked into the house the light was on in the living room and I could hear the faint sound of the TV. I furrowed my brows and walked in there surprised when I found my mom sitting on the couch. She wiped her cheek and put on a fake smile as she saw me coming into the room, but I could clearly see that she had been crying. I knew it had something to do with dad but I didn’t want to talk about it, especially not in front of Alex.

“Oh, you’re home, honey.” She went to rise up but then noticed Alex coming up behind me. “And who’s this?” It wasn’t a hostile tone, but a little unfriendly. I think it was more so because of the fact that a stranger had seen her crying, she didn’t like people seeing her weak, than the fact that he was holding my hand and standing pretty close to me. She probably figured out herself that he was my boyfriend. “Oh, is this that Dick you were talking about?”

Both Alex and I started laughing at that. That sentence could really be misinterpreted if you didn’t know that his name actually was Dick. “No mom, this is Alex. Sophie’s brother.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She told Alex and introduced herself to him. Then she turned back to me with a more serious tone. “Are you drunk?”

“Yeah, but not so bad. We didn’t drive, we walked here.” I said honestly. I never told mom everything about parties I go to or about getting drunk, but I’m not lying to her when she asks me.

“Okay, good.” She nodded. “Now, go to bed it’s late.” I had a feeling she wanted to be left alone, and I had no problem with that.

“Aren’t you going too?” I asked her. I was a little worried, her and dad had been fighting more than normal lately, and I didn’t feel to good about that.

“I might soon, I’m gonna stay down here for a little while longer, your father’s sleeping.”

I just nodded slightly and took Alex hand and begun walking up the stairs to my room. I was feeling a little nervous, this would be the first time he would stay the night here. My bed was smaller than his too so we would be laying closer each other, not that I really minded.

“Are you okay? Are they still fighting?” Alex asked after I closed my bedroom door and sat down on the bed with a sigh. I had forgotten that he knew they were fighting a lot. I had never even told Sophie that.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to think about it too much.” I pushed it to the back of my head and smiled up at him.

He smiled back and sat down next to me. He cupped cheek and brought my face up to his as he placed a kiss on my lips. “It’s gonna be alright, and you know, I’m here for you if you want to talk about it.”

How could a guy be so amazing? I leaned in and deepened the kiss, carefully sliding my tongue inside his mouth. I could taste the alcohol on his breath but didn’t care about it, since I was probably no better myself. He gripped me tighter and pulled me into his lap, where I straddled his legs. I placed my hands in his hair and moaned quietly into the kiss. He slowly leaned back in laying position and crawled backwards up my bed bringing me with him.

I kissed down his jaw and to his neck where I started sucking lightly. A low groan left his mouth when I brought down my hips into his. I giggled, and when his hands went down to the bottom of my dress I let him lift it over my head. I blushed as his stare lingered on my bra clad chest.

“God dammit, Jessie.” He groaned and flipped us over so he was on top. He wasted no time in taking his own shirt off. I, much like he had done, couldn’t keep my eyes off his perfectly toned torso. I brought my hands up to his chest and run then down to his stomach then ultimately around his waist as I pulled him down in a kiss. His hands travelled around my upper body and in contrast to the last guy who couldn’t keep his hands to himself, I didn’t stop him when he started to squeeze my breast softy, but rather moaned when he did.

In no time he had taken off both his jeans and my leggings, which left us both in just our undergarments. My mind was racing with how fast things had gone. I had always thought I was ready for this as long as it was Alex it was happening with. But now that I was here I wasn’t so sure anymore. I didn’t even have any protection at my house. And I doubt he was walking around with a condom in his back pocket.

“Alex,” I tried to get his attention as he was kissing down my neck.

“What?” He asked softly as he raised his head to look at me.

I licked my lips, hoping he wouldn’t get mad at me now. “I think we should stop.” I whispered.

He didn’t say anything for a while but hung his head down. I couldn’t help but feel guilty, I could clearly feel his arousal pressed up against my leg, and I knew that probably couldn’t be comfortable when you knew you couldn’t do anything about it.

“I mean, we’re only been together for a week, and we’ve both been drinking all night. I don’t our first time to be when we’re drunk. And my parents are home. My dad’s sleeping just a few rooms down and my mom’s downstairs, awake. This isn’t the right time.” I tried to make him understand my point, so he wouldn’t be so mad me for stopping.

There were so many reasons to not do it now and I wanted him to see that. Though the biggest reason was because I was just not ready yet, but I couldn’t tell him that. As far as I knew he didn’t know that I was still a virgin, and I had no plans on telling him that. He would most likely dump me if he found that out.

“You’re right,” He sighed. “I’ll be right back.” He climbed off me and started to walk to the door.

“Alex, where are you going?” I asked him confused. I didn’t want him to leave, just because I wasn’t ready to go all the way I did enjoy making out with him and I didn’t want to be left alone after that.

“Well, I need to take care of this.” He snapped and pointed at the obvious bulge in his boxers. I blushed and closed my eyes as I thought about it.

But then slowly a tear rolled down the side of my face and I started shivering where I was lying on top of the sheets in just my underwear and bra. I walked up to my closet and pulled a giant tee-shirt out that I usually slept in and pulled it over my head after I took off my bra.

I crawled back into the bed, under the covers this time and turned the lights out. I wiped my tears and forced myself to stop crying before Alex came back, I didn’t want him to see me crying over something like this.

A few minutes later I heard him shuffle in through the door and into bed behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and brought me back into his bare chest. I didn’t say a word, just waited for him to say something first, but I didn’t pull away from his embrace either.

He brought up his hand and brushed my hair away and kissed my neck briefly. I couldn’t deny that that felt good. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.” He whispered in my ear. “I don’t want our first time to be drunk either. And even though we’ve known each other for a long time, I know it’s too soon. I just got carried away.” He brushed his lips against my neck again and then chuckled, “It would have been really embarrassing if your parents would have heard us, since we have to face them in the morning.”

I smiled sweetly and turned around in his arms, I couldn’t stay mad at him. “You probably won’t have to worry about that, they’re most likely working tomorrow.”

“Seriously, but it’s Sunday?” He asked shocked.

I just shrugged, “They work almost every weekend.”

He smiled sympathetically, though I could almost not see it in the dark. He kissed my cheek, but then pulled back just as fast. “You’re crying.” He sated.

I quickly wiped away the rest of the tears I had missed. “I’m sorry, I overreacted, I just don’t do well when you’re mad at me.” I mumbled embarrassed.

“I wasn’t mad at you.” He sighed. “I was mad at myself, at the situation. I’m only a guy, okay.” He chuckled. “And when you tell a guy to stop just when he’s getting really into it, it makes him think with his dick, especially when the girl has an amazing body like you do, and I’m sorry for acting a dick. I didn’t mean it, I’m never going to push into anything-”

“Shh,” I cut him off by placing a finger over his lips. “I’m sorry for leading you on, I just think we should wait for a little while. I don’t want to rush into anything. ”

“I think that would be a great idea. I don’t really want to take things too fast either. I’m just drunk and not in my right mind.”

“It’s all good.” I brushed my lips against his for a short kiss before turning around in his arms again, back to the position we were in before where my back was pressed up against his chest. I fell asleep feeling both emotionally and physically closer to him than I had before, and it was the greatest feeling in the world.