I Don't Even Know His Name...

The car journey was agony for the both of us. No matter where I looked I could still catch glimpses of his body clinging to the seat practically convulsing back there. Even the radio couldn’t drown out the crying in the backseat. It was bad enough trying to keep my foot from permanently slamming on the acceleration as I couldn’t take anymore of this. Thankfully the traffic around the suburbs was low at this time making it a short journey home. Parking quickly up my drive I noticed my parents cars were not there giving me some reassurance that I didn’t have to explain this right now. That would be even more difficult than consoling him.

Alex gladly crawled back into my arms as I opened the back door closing it firmly behind me. Although the rain had really picked up now, coming down in constant showers. Great, how much more of this could I take? It was quite difficult unlocking the front door with one hand but eventually we made it inside. His face was buried in the crook of my neck whilst the his nails dug into my shoulder blades. I didn’t care all I was worried about was the way he was shaking so violently in my hold. Hopefully he’ll be able to calm down again otherwise I don’t know what I’m going to do. Somehow I managed to lower him onto my bed before closing the door, for once not caring about the mess that littered across my room.

Taking off his jacket for him I slowly sat onto the bed just as Alex crept into my lap wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. A strange sensation of an ice cold embrace confused me, he was usually so warm. Entangled deep into his damp brown locks my fingers danced across his scalp giving him as much comfort as I could muster. Alex pulled away the rain outside disguised his tears but failed to hide it from his eyes. The shivering form was a broken reflection of the boy I used to know, and it scared me. I would do anything to bring him back. A raw voice matching his completion interrupted the silence.

“I-I’m so sorry Jack, just please” gnawing on his lip the clarity of the pain in his irises took my breath away as well as the fact of the proximity of our bodies right now. The hesitation was evident, made more obvious with the closing of eyelids before he whispered a small sentence that made my heart stutter.

“Take the pain away” At that moment I was so conflicted, part of me was still angry with him from earlier yet a bigger part was screaming at me to mend him. Those words were a cry for help, and I was more than willing to be the one to be there for him. With my hands still in his hair I leant forward brushing my lips tenderly with his, almost asking for permission to move closer. Too scared I would break the porcelain boy in front of me. Our eyes connected but that spark I had craved to see for so long flickered fleetingly signalling me to continue. So I took the chance and pressed his lips into a deep slow kiss.

This felt so much more different, the connection between us felt so strong and the warm feelings that ran through my veins was so unknown to me. Shifting slightly he moved so he was cupping my face leaning forward desperate for my touch. But I was just as wanting of his contact. Goosebumps crept across my body as his fingers brushed the side of my neck. Meanwhile my nervous hands roamed his body soon settling on his hips. Pulling away momentarily I kissed down his jaw line before moving down his throat, eliciting hushed noises from it. Knowing Alex for this long I knew most of his weakness’s including one at the base of his neck. The instant my mouth touched that spot he tensed, hands clawing at my shoulders.

“Fuuuck” he moaned softly against my ear turning me on beyond words. Almost immediately he tipped his head back exposing more of what I desired. Whilst ravishing his skin my hands moved up the back of his t-shirt raking my nails down his spine.

“Is this what you want Alex?” I breathed staring up into his caramel eyes that shone with a new emotion that I couldn’t quite understand. Instead of answering he leant back pulling me on top of him, our bodies pressed close together. A small mewl stifled in my throat as the sensation of cold fingertips slid under my shirt and against my chest, whilst our lips met again except more fervent, more confident. Hands gripped hard on to my waist as my tongue brushed between parted lips. Gasping quietly the taste of him overwhelmed me, sending my mind spinning. Somehow our shirts were shed in the process newly exposed skin pressed delicately against one another. In no time my lips had wandered down his collar bone but soon settled on his navel.

“Oh God, Jack...” the way his back arched up into my touch and the feeling of fingers tugging at my hair was enough to drive me crazy. Hungrily I moved upwards again pulling him back into another passionate kiss. This almost felt like a dream. But at the same time it felt so real. Bodies so entangled I couldn’t tell where one started and one ended anymore. Neither one of us had any intention of stopping. We were too lost in one another. Yet the rest of the world had other plans. Hearing the familiar sound of a car easing into the drive I reluctantly pulled away from the gorgeous form beneath me. My head shot towards the direction of the window in fear, fuck my parents were back already!

“Alex, we have to...stop” I managed to stutter between rasps whilst grabbing my shirt from the floor. He mirrored my actions hurriedly pulling the fabric over his head a beautiful pink tint to his cheeks. It only just hit me how close we were to going a lot further than I intended. Shit I really crossed the line here. Way to go Jack on almost screwing your best friend, god I’m such an idiot! He looked up at me through his eyelashes a certain sadness still prevalent there.

“I don’t want you to” That came as a surprise, it must be his hormones talking right? Kissing him one last time I sighed against those lips.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow” I breathed both of us slid under the sheets and squeezed our eyes shut, hoping that my parents wouldn’t suspect anything but also that I could keep my hands off of Alex for the rest of the night.