Crash Into My Arms

I didn’t sleep all night when I got back to Gerard’s bedroom. His mother’s words kept circulating through my mind; “He’s getting worse.”
I’d made the connection between those words and the blood I had seen in the tissue last night at Alicia’s party.

Gerard was ill; seriously ill and he had never told me. How long had this been going on? Had he been ill before I met him? Or did it happen just recently? Either way, I wanted answers.

Night slowly turned into dawn, and I never moved from my spot; Sitting upright on Gerard’s bed. Waiting for him to awake and come back into his room. Eventually, his familiar face poked around the door. He looked like hell.

“Oh, good morning, Miz, I didn’t know you were awake.”
“I’ve been up all night.” I said, swallowing hard and looking up at him. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“I’m sorry?” Gerard asked, puzzled.
“I heard your parents talking in their room last night, you were asleep by your mother’s side and she said…” I swallowed hard. “She said something about you getting worse and that she and your father couldn’t ignore it anymore…”
Gerard frowned, he frowned so intensely and tears began to form in the corners of his beautiful Hazel eyes. “I never wanted you to know.” he sighed, coming to sit down beside me on the bed.
“Know what? Does this… does this have anything to do with the fact that you were coughing up blood last night?” I asked.
Gerard looked down at his hands; I heard his shaky breaths and knew he was on the verge of crying. “I never wanted you to know.” He repeated.
“Know what?” I said once more. “Gerard?” I grasped his shoulder. “Please… Please tell me what’s going on.”
He took a deep, shaky breath, and exhaled. “I have Lung Cancer, and it’s terminal…” His voice cracked, and tears began to stream down his face.
“What?!” I gasped. “No, just… no, Gerard!” I cried, my voice breaking into hysteria. “It can’t be true!”
“It is.” He sobbed.
“Is what your father said true?” I asked, tears threatening at the corners of my eyes.
“What did my father say?”
“That… That there’s nothing they can do…” I bit my lip, frightened of his answer.
“Yes.” He sighed with defeat, closing his eyes.
“You…” I was angry now. “You swore to me.” I growled. “YOU SWORE YOU’D NEVER LEAVE ME! YOU PROMISED!” I screamed.

I flew from his bedroom, grabbing my clothes up as I went, not caring that I was leaving the house in my underwear. I jumped the fence between our houses, running up to the porch and stabbing my key into the front door, ripping it open once it unlocked. I locked it behind me and went straight to my room.

I fell into my bed, crying hysterically, something I hoped I’d never do again. I should have known; I should have known it was too good to be true. I was happy, I had found somebody to love, someone who made me feel like I had a purpose in this world; something to live for.

But that somebody, who had promised me they’d always be there, was going to be gone in the blink of an eye. He’d lied to me; Gerard knew he was dying, but yet he had promised he’d never leave me. It was all one big, fat, lie, right from the start…