Shooting Stars and Satellites

“Alaska … Alaska!”

I groaned and threw my pillow over my head. “Leave me alone.”

“Alaska, honey, get up,” my mom said softly.

I turned my head to the side and opened my left eye, squinting at her. “Why? I have nothing to do.”

“I’ve made breakfast and Kenny and John are already at the table, along with your father. You haven’t eaten breakfast with us in a long while, Alaska.”

I sucked in a breath of air before pushing myself off the bed. I wobbled a bit as I stood, but quickly caught the end of my nightstand, keeping me from falling. I realized I was in one of Kenny’s old band tee shirts, and a pair of boxer shorts. That meant someone had to have undressed me last night. Suddenly, I felt more awake and embarrassed.

“I’ll go downstairs and tell the boys you’re coming,” she stated before placing a kiss on my forehead and leaving the room.

I glanced in the mirror, seeing that the bags underneath my eyes had seemingly gotten worse within one night. I groaned and tucked a few stray strands of hair behind my ears before going downstairs. Kennedy and John sat together on one side, while my mom and dad sat at opposite ends of the table. I took a seat across from my brother, just as my mom was coming from the kitchen with a plate in her hands.

“Here you go, love,” she said, placing the plate in front of me.

I glanced at the scrambled eggs, pancakes and bacon for a moment. The aroma of the food hit my nose like a foul stench, and I pushed the plate away, trying to rid myself of the smell.

“What’s wrong?” Kenny asked, his mouth full of eggs.

“I can’t eat.”

My dad gave me a look before putting his mug of coffee down. “Why can’t you eat? Are you getting sick?”

I shook my head. “No … I just don’t have an appetite right now.”

John gave me a look before rolling his eyes. “Mrs. Brock, this food’s amazing. Alaska doesn’t know what she’s missing.” I bit down on my tongue, trying to refrain myself from cursing at him.

“Thank you, John. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

I could tell she was disappointed at my lack of eating, but there was nothing I could do. If I took one bite of the food on my plate, it’d be on the floor or on the table in less than one second, along with the liquor I had drank last night. Not eating was my best bet.

“So what do you plan on doing for the rest of your summer, John?” my dad asked, breaking the silence in the room.

John quickly gulped down what was left of the orange juice in his glass before answering. “Well, I just got a stocking position at Lowe’s.” Kennedy let out a laugh, soon followed by one from John himself. “And then there’s the stuff with the band. I’m just kinda taking it one day at a time.”

My dad nodded his head. “No plans for school?”

He shook his head. “I did one semester and it’s just not for me. I’ve had year after year of school for the majority of my life and I just need a break.”

“Are you done with your plate, John?” my mother asked, standing behind his chair with dishes in her hands.

“Oh, yeah, thank you.”

She smiled. “You’re welcome.” She took my dad’s dishes as well before disappearing into the kitchen.

“Well, I better head out.”

“How’s the building coming along?” Kenny asked our dad.

He yawned and scratched his head. “Pretty good. It’s gonna take awhile to finish, though.”

Kenny nodded his head. “Well, see ya later.”

“Bye, kids,” he called out before walking to the door.

“Bye,” we all yelled.

“How’re you feeling?” Kenney asked.

I shrugged. “Fine, I guess.”

“That’s good. You were out cold last night. I tried to wake you up once we got to the house and you wouldn’t even flinch. Luckily, John decided to ride home with me and carried you inside.”

I looked at John. “You didn’t have to carry me.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you could surely get up and walk inside yourself.”

“You could have just let me sleep out in the car,” I argued.

He scoffed. “Right. When it’s this hot out? You live in Arizona, Alaska. You’d fucking die out in that car.”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”

“Well, if you two are done bickering, I’m gonna head back up to my room and catch up on sleep,” Kenny stated before standing up.

“I think I’m gonna head home, bro. Your floor’s not as comfy as my bed,” John told him.

My brother laughed. “Alright. I’ll see you later then, man.” He began making his way upstairs as John got up from the table.

I couldn’t lie and say that this tension between John and I wasn’t bugging me, because it was. As a matter of fact, it was making me downright furious. He had no right to be throwing a fucking attitude at me every time he saw me.

I glanced up as I heard the front door close, and jumped up from my seat, running for the door. I ran down the pavement, ignoring the heat on the bottom of my feet that was burning my flesh. I placed my hand on John’s shoulder, turning him around to look at me.

“What the fuck is your problem?”

He stared dumbfounded for a moment. “What are you talking about?”

“Every time you open your mouth to speak to me, you have to say something sarcastic or rude to say. What the hell have I ever done to you?”

He laughed and shook his head before continuing to the sidewalk. I groaned and went after him, grabbing his forearm. “Alaska, I really don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“Why?” I asked, suddenly feeling hurt.

His green orbs stared straight into my eyes, and it caused a chill to run up my spine. “You won’t understand if I try and explain it to you.”

“Well you won’t know unless you give me a try,” I countered.

He sighed and shook his arm from my hand. “I’d rather not give you the chance, Alaska.”

I glared at him. “Well if it’s about something I said last night, you can’t hang it over my head. I was wasted.”

“It has nothing to do with last night.”

“Then what is it?”

He looked as if he were going to give me a straight answer for a moment before shaking his head. “Just go back inside, ‘Laska.”

He had finally hit my last nerve. “Fuck you, John. I’m tired of your bi-polar shit.”

“Bi-polar?” he laughed. “I’m far from it, sweetheart. Maybe if you took your head out of your ass and stopped feeling sorry for yourself, you’d see what everybody else sees.”

I slapped him as hard as I could across the face, although it was difficult with him being much taller than I. “I just lost the love of my life! So if I want to sulk for awhile, I have every fucking right to do it!”

“The love of your life?! You’re only eighteen, Alaska. You can’t seriously think that Gavin was the love of your life,” he told me with a look of mixed emotions in his eyes.

“I don’t care how young you think I am, because I know that he was who I was meant to be with. But because of some assholes, I won’t ever get the chance to experience a life with him.”

He took a step closer to me. “Maybe you were meant to live a life with someone else.”

I scoffed. “Like who? You?” He stayed quiet. “I could never be with a rude, pompous asshole like you!”

A look of anger flickered in his eyes. “And I could never be with a loud, depressed little bitch like you!”

We both scowled at each other, nostrils flared and fists clenched. Soon enough, however, our faces somehow began to inch closer and closer to each other. When his lips pressed against mines, an electric current ran through my body, and as our lips glided over one another, my knees buckled. John’s arms were quick to catch me, and I thanked him by deepening the kiss.

His tongue traced my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, allowing our tongues to greet each other. His arms tightened around my waist, holding me straight against his chest. My arms found their way around his neck, and I pulled him as close to me as possible. I needed him to be as close to me as possible.

“Whoa! John?! Alaska?!”

We both immediately backed away from each other and turned to see Jared standing on the sidewalk, his mouth wide open. My hand flew to my mouth as I gasped, realizing what I had just allowed to occur.

“Dove, please don’t ru-“ John began, but it was too late, because I was already running back to my house.

Once I was inside, I slammed the door and ran straight to my room, slamming that door as well. I sat down on my bed, my heart beating crazily against my chest as tears clouded my eyes. “What the fuck did I just do?”